Artemis Fowl : Spiro Dimension
by PeridotNox
Summary: When Artemis is signed onto an exchange trip, he has no idea that his exchange partner is like him in almost every single way... and that same girl would lead him back to an old enemy... R&R! ArtemisXOC I do not own AF
1. Chapter 1

Okay... please don't laugh at this... it's my first ever fanfic!

**Chapter 1 - In which Artemis seems not to have changed at all...**

Artemis Fowl had his fists clenched. For once, he wasn't thinking about the manicure he had just got, and didn't worry about ruining it at all, which was very uncharacteristic of him. For once, Artemis Fowl didn't have a thousand different plots in his head, but only one raging emotion. He was staring at one letter to another as his parents forced them under his noses.

It had been two months since the Opal incident, and he had greatly improved in the fact that he no longer stole from any company… he specifically targeted victims who acted in his old way. And, true to his word, he had donated his 'findings' to various places, including one made under the name 'Jon Spiro' which gave the media quite a stir up.

It made Artemis smirk contentedly at their incompetent sentences and phrases in an attempt to describe this act of generosity.

But socially, Artemis Fowl II was still behind by about a gigabyte. For one thing, he made a point to confine himself to the common room whenever he could at his new private day school (Angeline Fowl had stuck to her word and moved him from St. Bartleby's). He had refused to take part in any discussions, and when asked why, he had reduced half his classmates, plus the teacher as an added bonus, to tears.

Are you beginning to get my point?

So, as a last resort, his parents had signed him on to a two-week English exchange trip. The problem was getting Arty to consent to writing back to one of the several letters that had turned up in his favour.

"Here, Arty, Benjamin looks good… he's got such precise handwriting…" Angeline was fighting a losing battle, and she knew it.

"Arty, look at this one from Katie… she even included a photo, and my, isn't she a looker?" Encouraged his father. Artemis Junior considered both, and came to a conclusion within seconds.

"Benjamin may have a good writing hand, but his vocabulary hardly suits a two week stay. His spelling is atrocious, see how he has spelt 'consequently', it's an 'e' not an 'i'! And Katie can hardly string two words to form a coherent sentence, judging by her letter. I refuse to take any part in this ridiculous exchange trip, Mother."

And he was being _polite_ to his parents about this event!

Artemis Senior looked at his wife and they both sighed despairingly. The school had said that if Arty still refused to take part, they would have to find someone with the same interests as he did. Although that would be quite difficult, seeing as Artemis had made it clear that his interests did not even come remotely within the boundaries of usual adolescent activities.

Angeline dismissed her son with a defeated, "Go and play with your computer, or whatever it is you do on that laptop of yours…" and as soon as she was certain that Artemis was out of hearing distance, she turned to her husband.

"Timmy, what on earth will we do with Arty? His intellect is great, I know, but he needs to learn how to associate himself with others."

"I know, Angeline, darling, he just needs the right person to socialize with."

"But will the school manage to find the right person?"

Artemis turned hastily away from the screen he was seeing it all played out on. He didn't like spying on his parents, but sometimes it was the only way that he could find out what was upsetting them.

He had become better, he was just finding troubles somehow expressing his newfound conscience. He was still trying to socialize with anyone below the standard of a potential Nobel Prize winner.

Starting his laptop, he noticed the small icon on the top right hand corner of the screen flashing. He had long ago, installed the communicator Holly had slipped him onto his laptop, and now, almost whenever he opened his PC, he would see that small icon flashing, indicating that Holly was trying to contact him.

Clicking on the flashing icon, he smiled, there were the elfin features, grinning like there was no tomorrow.

"Hey there, Fowl. Just calling in to check how you're doing on the exchange trip."

"Not brilliantly and is Foaly still keeping me under surveillance?" Asked Artemis, smiling warmly for the first time in twenty-four hours.

"Yep, but only under Council orders, otherwise I'd have to force every word about you about your current social life."

Artemis grimaced. It was true that he did not mix well, but at least he was trying now.

"Could you try and get any information on who they're going to team me up with?"

Holly thought about it. It would probably cost another carton of carrots and two litres of beetle juice, but it would be worth it.

"Alright, Mud Boy, but you are going to have to pay for the beetle juice and carrots."

Artemis shrugged. After all, what was money to his insatiable curiosity? "Fine, just try and get the data on the person so that I can torture them so much that they'll be begging my parents to send them home."

Across the Irish border, and in a small town south of London called Fleet, an average sized girl with vivid emerald eyes closed a link with a pout.

She turned to the tall, menacing individual beside her, and muttered,

"Foaly seems to have found the boy who I am to be partnered with."

Artemis was keeping true to his word and exercising on his home gymnasium. Ever since Eleven Wonders, he decided that he needed to start keeping himself in shape if he was ever going to protect himself. So, everyday exactly an hour after dinner, he would spend forty-five minutes on the treadmill, and, with the help of Butler, he managed to complete fifty sit-ups in twenty minutes.

And for those of you that scoff, you try doing sit-ups at a regular pace.

He was up to twenty-five when he heard the slight beeping from his mobile. Leaping up, he flipped the mobile cover and spluttered, slightly out of breath,

"Who have you found?"

"Woah, slow down, Mud Boy…first of all, let me congratulate you on not collapsing yet. I'd never be able to do something like that."

Artemis smirked, trying to picture Foaly ever doing any exercise instead of typing and line dancing (a secret that he had picked up off Detective Short's frequent calls).

"Is it even physically possible for centaurs to do sit ups?" Artemis remarked, giving Foaly a flash of the old vampire smile.

"No, and it's nice to see you too. By the way, we haven't heard from Butler in a while. Anything wrong with the big man?" There was a hint of concern in the centaur's voice. Butler was probably the only person who reminded him of Commander Root now.

"Butler's enjoying a visit to Juliet. At the same time we're giving her the information. It's not exactly fair to miss her out on the action. Last I heard, she's trying to get contact with Holly to give her that disc of some kind of gnome wrestling Detective Short promised her."

Foaly smiled, though it was hard. He still missed Holly on the LEP. Although she was doing really well with the PI business, he knew that it wasn't as fulfilling as her old job as a hot-shot Captain on the LEPrecon.

"Yeah, it's still hard to get used to seeing that pig Sool and no Holly to argue with him." Sighed Foaly, then got straight to the point.

"It took the school two seconds to join the two of you together. You two stuck out like white spots on a black background. Although you're lucky that she's this pretty, as Mud Maids go…"

"Foaly… I may have reformed my ways, but my patience is the same as ever and rotting away." Artemis's voice became soft and clipped, threateningly gentle.

"Er… right… name of Ivy Saraswati Kestrel, fourteen next month, five foot three, and here's her Interpol file."

Artemis was nodding expectantly until it came to the last part, "She has an Interpol file?"

"Yes. Quite new, no surprises there, she's not the offspring of an European crime-lord… she's like your clone, Artemis, I've got a copy of her exchange letter. You can see why nobody wanted her…"

"Right, I shall look at that letter in due course. Tell me, Foaly, how is Sool?"

"Fine, at the moment. Why? Why are you asking? Have you done something illegal or even remotely outside the law, Fowl?" Foaly's voice raised its volume, until Artemis exclaimed,

"No! I was just wondering if your Council has decided that he's such a cynical idiot that they've decided to sack him yet!"

Here, Foaly seemed to relax slightly, though from his previous experiences with Fowl, it wasn't easy.

"Nope, but I'm pretty sure that my several complaints will eventually filter through the system."

And, without so much as a goodbye, Foaly hung up. Sometimes, Artemis fumed, that centaur could be more annoying than even his parents acting like teenagers in love.

In Fleet, the girl who Foaly and Artemis had been discussing was on her laptop (which she had won fair and square from a bet her father had with her) and hacking into the Interpol files.

"I'm hoping that Foaly is correct and the _idiota_ does have an IQ of above 200. Otherwise I am going to be spending the rest of my two weeks in utter boredom and you know what I'm like when I'm bored, Nubi."

The tall, light-skinned Chinese girl standing beside her was reassembling her gun. "Boy, do I, Miss Kestrel. Last you were bored you robbed an entire vault from the first bank unlucky enough to stand in your way."

"I chose that place intentionally, Nubi. And for the most advanced technology in Switzerland it was too easy to surpass. Only five pressure pads and at least sixteen blind spots on the cameras even if they could sense us…"

The female bodyguard rolled her eyes, "I have no doubt that all those little blind-spots were all only a few centimetres wide?"

"Why yes, how did you guess?" Smirked Ivy.

Ivy wasn't as much of Artemis's clone as Foaly had made out she was. For one thing, she specialised in several things, one of which was fencing, hence the sword she always had at her side. For another, she didn't go exploiting any unfortunate soul who happened to stumble in on her. She only saved that sport for when she was _really_ bored.

But that didn't mean she was soft. It just showed that she was very respectful of her mother's wishes. Pollyanna Kestrel had been worried about her child, and had verbally forbidden her to go around trying to emotionally scar people for the rest of their lives.

Her appearance wasn't even remotely near to Artemis, either. She was diminutive, short enough to be a fairy (Author's Note: she isn't a fairy… just uncannily like one) and her long hair, when untied, could almost reach the ground. Of course, this was the result of her mother insisting that she followed the traditions of the 'Family'. Her hair was a deep, rich red, and it was always finding some way of abandoning the tight bun that Ivy had grown accustomed to checking every half an hour or so. With the trademark emerald Kestrel eyes, Ivy would glare at even the most insistent of teachers, and they would subside.

At the moment, these jewel-like eyes were pondering on memories,

"Nubi, where have I seen the name 'Fowl' before?"

"Probably from Interpol files… remember, Artemis Fowl the Second, the child prodigy?" The bodyguard had finished assembling the entire gun, and had started on reassembling an LEP helmet.

"No… I mean, yes, I've seen the name on Interpol, but where have I read it in Foaly's database? And he's not the _only_ child prodigy… and I'm more child than he is."

"Why don't you check? I mean, it isn't as if Foaly actively forbade you to go onto his precious computers." Said Nubi, now checking on the locators her charge's mother had _insisted_ upon giving them.

"Alright, but if I have to try and convince Foaly one more time that I am not an amateur in computer hacking, I will…" Then Ivy froze. It couldn't be, could it?

"Shoot! I remember where I read the name Fowl in Foaly's database now!" She yelled, and trust me, it wasn't often that Ivy Kestrel yelled heatedly.

She opened the files on Foaly's various internet sites (which was always a great shortcut to hack into his system) and selected 'Fowl'. If she proved to be right, then she would not be having as much bother as she originally thought she would have.

"Artemis Fowl was involved in quite a number of events the first one coincidentally coming into action the day my powers came into action." Ivy was still sour about that day. She was glad that she had found that at least someone else was having just as bad a day on the neighbouring island of leprechauns… or LEPrecon… she really wasn't bothered which one.

Her hopes were all dashed when Nubi reminded her, "Remember, Miss Kestrel, the boy probably doesn't know about your race. Or where you're from. It's best that we just keep that within the family."

Ivy nodded sullenly, for once defeated by the overly talkative and adolescent mouth of her bodyguard. Or, then again, maybe not…

"I may not be able to reveal myself _directly_ to him, but I can definitely reveal myself to him by accident. After all," she theorised, "he can't suffer from much more psychological damage… not after what it says here that he's been through."

A/N Please reveiw and I may be able to get another chapter up by next week sometime!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 

Both teenagers had been officially informed of their exchange partners, and each as disgusted as the other. For Artemis the Second, a mere girl who spent her time in the same criminal activities as himself and didn't practice any feminine subject (you can tell that he was brought up in a sexist manner, can't you?) didn't deserve to be in the same room as him. Of course, there was no possibility that a girl of normal funding could be anywhere near as great as Artemis Fowl II!

And as far as Ivy was concerned, any boy who needed a bodyguard to stick up for him was a wimp. And she did _not_ associate with wimps. She herself didn't really need Nubi… it was just another extra precaution from her father, not necessarily to protect her from trouble, but more like to keep her out of it.

At school, Ivy was barely sociable but she still had half the school chasing after her because of her looks. And apparently being cold and cruel was cool. Whenever this phrase came into the adolescent's mind, she rolled her eyes, wandering what 'uncool' would be. Immortal forces knew that the most popular girl in school was so bouncy that she could barely stop jumping.

Every Wednesday from four till six thirty, Ivy attended the local gymnastics club. It was a way to get out of the house, and she found every opportunity possible to do _that_.

The only problem was, as soon as word got round that 'Eagle Eyes' (you'd understand if you felt her glare) had joined gymnastics and was already advancing to Grade 5, half of the Third Year signed on, if only to impress.

However, the only person Kestrel welcomed was her real friend at school, and that was Janey. A tall, slim fourteen-year-old with grey eyes and a contrasting mop of red hair, she had been the only reason that Ivy had not yet left the club.

"I heard that the school had to pair you up with someone in the end." Teased Jane, flipping effortlessly and smoothly, earning sharp glances from the other end of the hall. "I've seen his exchange letter, and his mum or something made him send a photo. Hope that he doesn't kill you with his _princely_ ice blue stare." At this, Janey mocked a fainting lady, an invisible fan in her hand.

"Honestly, Janey," Retorted Ivy, following suit and ending with half a twist, "You'd think that I were some helpless maiden in distress who falls for the first idiot that I set eyes on. And I'll have you know that the boy has the worst physical education history that I have ever seen."

"Yeah, but there's always the …erm… the butler. He's going to be there to break your neck if you do anything to the precious _Master_ Fowl." She jumped onto the beams and started swinging.

Ivy bounced onto the beam, without drawing a breath. "Who, Domovoi Butler? I don't think that he'd hurt a _poor, innocent and helpless little girl_ like me, would you?"

"Looks are deceiving, especially when it comes to you, Ivy. I remember the last guy that asked you out. Isn't he in that mental institute, now?"

"No, he came out last week, and the authorities are trying to keep him from coming to get me. Seriously, the house was crawling with policemen last week and my post had to be scanned and everything! Not that it's much different to what Nubi usually does. She scared them all away last time because she didn't think that they were scanning everything thoroughly enough." Ivy drawled, spinning on the beams.

"I'm surprised that none of the policemen tried to flirt with your bodyguard." Smirked Jane, coming up into a perfect handstand.

"Oh, don't get me wrong, she got several moves made on her. I think she concussed most of them, although there was one really cheeky guy that she sent to hospital."

"Your life is so far from normal. I'm surprised that you aren't going to therapy yet after what you've been through." Smirked Janey, coming down from her handstand. "Your turn." She made a theatrical bow, with several hand flourishes.

Ivy sighed, and went up into a handstand. But her body was on autopilot. In her mind, she was thinking over last night with her mother. A beautiful lady, and Ivy thought herself lucky that she had at least received most of her features from her. In fact, apart from the height difference (according to her mother, her father hadn't been as short as Ivy was… it was just that she grew too slowly) her mother and her couldn't be mistaken for anything _but_ mother and daughter. Except for the eyes. She had obviously received her biological father's eyes.

* * *

That night, when Ivy went downstairs for dinner, knowing the usual question going to be asked, she resigned herself to a boring hour before she was allowed to excuse herself. 

"Ivy, darling," her mother had started, "we need to talk about something."

"If you are talking about the _boy_ that I must be partnered with, then forget about it. I feel a slight headache coming onto me." Threatened the youngest and feistiest Kestrel.

"No, no… and I thought I told Foaly that I wanted you two to stop communicating except on emergencies. You know I want you to lead a normal life, Sara."

This was bad. Her mother only called her by her baby name 'Sara' when she was being deadly serious. Ivy still remembered last time that her mother had called her that. It would be a while until Ivy could knock an annoying little boy's front teeth out again.

"That brings us onto the serious subject. I talked with your father over the phone about this…" Ivy's father was an MI5 agent, which was ironic seeing as Ivy spent most of her time on the shady side of the law, "And he agrees with me. No one should know about your… your abnormalities."

At this, Ivy's fists clenched. She hated it when her parents would refer to her Powers as 'abnormalities'. It was just different. Nothing weird about it!

"Mother, I do not think that you should carry on this conversation. I shall be upstairs if you need me."

"No, wait, Sara… I know that you hate me viewing your Powers as 'strange' but you have to admit… most teenagers your age don't shoot fireballs, cause earthquakes, cause flood or even hurricanes when they're angry, or throw pure lightning energy when they're really mad. You have to keep them secret. I want you to vow to me, Sara. Vow that you'll do all in your power to keep anyone outside this family and Nubi from discovering your secret."

Ivy was backing away from her mother rapidly now. Her mother may have referred to controlling the elements as strange… but what about her mother's own special power? After all, the elements couldn't be killed, or ever properly controlled, only asked nicely. People, however…

"Mother… you're doing it again…" Ivy was now backing into the walls, wishing that she had specially designed contact lenses right now. But, then again, even specially designed lenses can't deflect evolved hypnotism, which, fortunately was what her mother had.

"_Vow it. Vow it in the name of lightning…"_ Ivy wasn't someone who could scare easily, but the look in her mother's dark brown eyes was enough to send shivers running down her back.

But it was pointless to resist the waves of control that were pushing her further into the abyss of losing control. She heard several windows breaking, and she knew immediately that it would start raining and that anything that could be safely inflamed would be set alight any minute now.

"_It's useless resisting my calling… vow it…"_ Her mother frowned. Her daughter always put up a lot of resistance compared to everyone else she had controlled. It was one of the reasons why she only did so on emergencies.

Ivy knew that she was failing now. She had to somehow twist the vow so that it agreed to her terms. Her mother hadn't been specific. There was still hope. Expertly letting her guard drop down only a little, she intoned, her voice still a tad strained,

"I shall do what I can to stop Artemis Fowl discovering me. Or my origins. _May Lightning consume me if I purposefully break this vow._" She gulped the air thankfully as she was released from the spell. She hoped feverishly that her mother would not repeat the entire scenario with her because the flaw had been discovered.

Ivy surveyed the damage she had done to the entire place. She almost felt guilty. All the windows had smashed, and one piece seemed to have scratched her mother's cheek. This time, not only had she burnt all the candles up, but the table covers were ruined as well. And all the plants and even some that came from under the floor seemed to be awaiting her command to attack.

Ivy curled up her fists in frustration. She would have loved it if she could simply blast her mother away. But her mother was her only blood relative. She would never be able to meet her father because, according to her mother, Ivy's dad had been involved in an accident way before Ivy had been born.

But Ivy knew better. Much better. When she had hit ten, she hacked into Foaly's database without so much as a virus coming to destroy her laptop, and had discovered an accident about ten years previously. About two months before she herself had been born. Speculating, the youngster had guessed that the experiment had somehow ripped open some kind of space and time continuum, or perhaps even to a place of 'what-might-have-been' (A/N: read Louise Cooper's _Running Free_ to fully understand it)

So, when Ivy had finally become sick of her mother's lies, she lost her temper and demanded the truth and only the truth. Her mother, flinching again, drew a deep breath. She was going to start on the subject, and swerve from it... Ivy knew the age old routine.

"You're… not a normal human. And I thought that I told you and Foaly not to communicate anymore." Scolded Melissa Kestrel.

"Mother, I think I deserve to know the truth about myself. Don't think that I am unobservant to the way you wince every time you see me poke a fire, or wash the dishes, or re-pot a plant or blow a candle out or something… it's like you're afraid I'll explode into smithereens!" Ivy had retorted, and the windows all blew open. But by the age of ten, she had grown used to strange things happening when she was emotional.

"Ivy, darling, I just don't want to hurt you. But if you feel so strongly about this…" Her mother took a breath. "Ten years ago, one of Foaly's…"

"I've already made progress. Foaly's experiment concerning anti-matter somehow combusted, causing a rift between one world and another possible world. What I need to know out of that equation is what our world is. Not my own biography, mother."

"You have done this properly, haven't you, Ivy? Very well. In our home world, fairies won the final territorial war with humans. But, being peaceable creatures, we let them remain on the surface, as long as they stayed out of our territories.

And then it started. A group of humans began to develop powers such as ours, being exposed to our magic for such a long time made it happen. But it was the combined magic of any fairy that approached them. Think of it as radiation, just less harmful. The humans had begun to build a resistance, and they had a much more concentrated power than any of the fairies."

Ivy looked thoughtful. She had deducted that her mother was one of those humans. But she kept quiet. From the look on her mother's face, she was reliving some memories, and psychologically speaking, it was better for Melissa to release all that pent up energy.

"By the time that the fairies had evolved, they still have wings there, they had grown taller, and they could even be mistaken for humans if you weren't careful. But they didn't have technology. No, they relied on magic alone. And that was the cause of their downfall."

Here, Ivy had to interrupt. "Mother, you have to understand that my patience, like everyone else's, is limited. Please get to the point where you tell me why I cause all the freakish accidents by just wanting it to happen."

"Alright, dear. So, when the second cross species war broke out, I was born in the midst of it. You do realise that the humans had the upper hand in all of this. That was because we had developed technology and we could now use it against them.

But that wasn't enough. We needed something that would stop the fighting forever. So we arranged for marriages. Our side, the human side, gave me, their newborn duchess."

Ivy did a double take. What did her mother mean, duchess? She was a noble?

"Yes, I see that you are mildly surprised, but did you really think that we would give up some civilian to the fairies? We wanted someone that they would treat with proper respect. So I was the obvious answer. Being just born and naïve enough to believe all the lies about humans and fairies being friends, and being important enough to be respected… I had my marriage arranged for me when I was about a year old.

My future husband-to-be was a fairy. We grew up knowing that, but we found out the truth about why we were being forced together, so we accepted it. Besides, we had been friends from birth, so we thought it couldn't have been much different."

* * *

Ivy recalled that evening in her mind. It was the first night that her mother may have ever told her the truth about the family. But sometimes, when she saw that glint in her mother's eyes, she got scared. And scared wasn't something that Ivy Saraswati Kestrel did often. 

Sometimes, it was as if her mother would do anything to get back to her old life.


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks everyone who reviewed! I'm using the rest of my summer holidays to try and write as many chapters as possible for me!

**Chapter 3 – In which we find out how one teenage genius reacts to another**

Artemis Fowl was not happy. It had been an hour at the airport and he was still waiting for the plane coming in from London. Even though half his classmates were there as well, he was still quite fed up of waiting. He always knew that public flights were unreliable.

The plane had been delayed for half an hour now, and everyone's patience was wearing thin. He turned to Butler to request to go to the Bentley, but one glance at his friend and bodyguard and he realised that Domovoi Butler was not about to disobey an order from his father. So Artemis Junior settled down to wait, reading the exchange letter again for the fifteenth time.

_Greetings, co-worker to be. My name is Ivy Saraswati Kestrel, and the first thing I must mention on this ridiculous letter is that the only reason I am writing this down is so that my mother and father do not deny me access to the Internet._

_It says here on the note I have been given by my professors that I need to tell you what I enjoy doing in hope that you will choose me. I doubt it, seeing as my talents and leisure activities are not exactly featured on the average teenager's list._

_I enjoy hacking into Interpol, MI6 files and so on, on a daily basis. Last time I was bored I robbed a high security bank with my associate Nubi. I spend some of my time doing gymnastics but I do sword practice with Nubi twice a week. I enjoy painting, especially Impressionists like Van Gogh. I must warn you that if you do annoy me, I can easily reduce you to tears in seconds._

_It also says here that I have to include a photo. I must warn you that I have applied a reactant on the photo, so if you take it out of the bag to try and get a closer look, it shall combust._

_It also states that I must mention what my parents do for a living. My mother is a hypnotist therapist, and is very good at her job, even though I can hear some of you scoff, and my father is an MI5 agent. I've no need to hack into MI5 because I can just ask my father for the passwords and he'll give it to me. If you want more feedback then ask them yourself… I'm not going to ask them for you._

_My conclusion is that if you are willing to take me on as an exchange partner, then I must profess my anxiety that you are either in need of therapy or just plain retarded._

_Yours truly,_

_Ivy S. Kestrel_

Artemis was startled to hear that she could protect herself, and had competed in the Junior Gymnastics World Championships a year ago and had won. The letter was brief and to the point, and the photo was, indeed, kept inside a blackened envelope. It was frustrating that his mysterious exchange partner was reluctant to let others see her picture. Most of the other girls had been eager to put their pictures in.

At last, an announcement came saying that the exchange students were finally coming through. Artemis almost sighed with relief. Any longer and he may have been forced to go to the lavatory and escape from there.

He nodded to Butler, who held up a sign saying 'Miss Ivy S. Kestrel'. Artemis hadn't seen her face, so he had been forced to use an amateur way to attract attention.

"Artemis, I think I see a girl coming this way." Muttered Butler. And indeed, he was right. A diminutive girl with long, flowing and almost golden brown hair was shaking her head at a friend, and headed their way.

The girl was small, and small enough to be a fairy. Even her ears were slightly pointed, but her eyes were like cats'. Emerald green, but when she returned his stare, he wanted to wince. They were more like eagle's eyes.

"Artemis Fowl, I presume. I read your letter. Quite amusing, if you take away the fact that you need an older male to protect you in social activities." Drawled Ivy, holding out a hand.

"Miss Kestrel. Delighted to make your acquaintance, I'm sure. And where is your bodyguard, Nubi? I see you aren't surprised." Artemis was careful not to let his surprise at her coolness slip.

"That would be because you got that information from Juliet Butler. My bodyguard and her used to train together. She said that Juliet was quite a wild card." Smiled Ivy. "All this macho repartee is all very well, but aren't your parents waiting for us to arrive at Fowl Manor sometime this millennium?"

"Of course, you probably need to freshen up. I forget how _girls_ need to do so many things like this." Smirked Artemis, and immediately regretted it as a swinging leg came hurtling this way. And, even if Butler had been as fast as he was before the healing, he still couldn't have stopped it.

"Take that back, you sexist pig!" Yelled Ivy, her eyes blazing, her stance in attack mode, feet apart and centre of gravity shifted. Butler knew immediately that fencing wasn't the only thing that Nubi had trained her young charge in.

"Now, see here, Miss Kestrel…" Began Butler, prepared to stop the diminutive girl forcefully if necessary, before Ivy jabbed a finger onto a nerve cluster. Butler sunk to his knees slowly, resisting the entire way through. How embarrassing for a six foot professional bodyguard. Obstructed by a thirteen year old with a finger.

"Not now, Domovoi. Not until I've taught Master Fowl here what a _girl_ can do." Hissed Ivy. Butler's eyes widened. How could this girl have known his first name?

Artemis stared at Ivy in wonder. She was short. Short enough to be a fairy, and he could have sworn that her ears were slightly pointed. The only difference was that her skin was pale… although she could have been a pixie…

Even her name was like Holly's. Another plant, and she had been named after Saraswati… the Hindu goddess of wisdom. So she was either fibbing about her intellect and boasting her name or she had an approximate IQ of a genius like him.

But he couldn't think much more, seeing as a foot had collided with his stomach, and Butler was still doubled over in pain.

Ivy wasn't finished teaching the boy a lesson before Jane grabbed her from behind and soothed,

"Calm down, Ivy, I think he's learnt his lesson… he won't be insulting girls anytime soon, okay?" Jane whispered, as Ivy tried to gain control over the raging emotions inside her. She really didn't want to get to Fowl Manor in pieces because of some freak storm she had caused.

"Alright, Master Fowl, but you had better watch your tongue in future." Snapped Ivy, and phoned Nubi. "Yes, Nubi, I'm fine… yes, I have found Fowl… no, I haven't… seriously, you'll see for yourself! Okay, I'll see you at the manor." She finished, and closed the line.

"You… you hit me." Gasped Artemis, unable to believe that two people had managed to lay a finger on him to harm, and both of them had been diminutive _girls_. Of course, Holly had been a police officer, so Artemis had an excuse ready for why he had been punched by her. But this girl… she was different.

"Yes, I hit you, now get over it already! My bodyguard has already arrived at the Manor and is getting reacquainted with Juliet; you have a problem with Nubi searching your Manor for weak points?" Challenged the girl, pouting fiercely.

Artemis Fowl II shook his head. For another embarrassing time in his life, he had been speechless. In fact, he didn't even try to make a jibe at Butler, seeing as Dom himself was now a fifty year old man and wasn't exactly what you called 'as quick as a flash' anymore.

* * *

In the Bentley, he watched in fascination as Ivy pulled out her palmtop and began typing so quickly that her fingers were a blur. Under the circumstance that Ivy had _not_ just clobbered him within a few seconds, he would have asked her what she was doing, hoping to get information on the MI5 for purposes to be kept secret. 

Unfortunately, they were not in that circumstance, they were in the completely opposite situation. So the journey was carried out in silence.

Butler squinted at the two adolescents through the rear mirror. He sighed; this trip wasn't going to end happily. Not if it had started out as badly as this. Once again, he raised his eyes to the sky and cursed whatever forces made him end up with the pale teenager that was Master Artemis. And why, out of all the possible people he may have been able to be partnered with, did Artemis have to be partnered with _this_ girl?

In a way, they were quite alike, Butler thought, switching his attention to the road again, they're both loners and they were both somehow obsessed with their technology.

So, aside from the fact that his charge had dealings with an underground fairy detective agency, their personality was pretty much the same. But their history? Not so sure…

Here, Butler tensed. Miss Kestrel hadn't included a whole lot of information about her family history, and even her mentions of family were brief. Artemis had openly pronounced that his parents were owners of Fowl Manor and he already owned a laboratory of his own manufacture. Domovoi Butler had enough psychological experience to figure out that the girl didn't know much about her parents… either that or she just didn't like to talk to them. One thing was for sure though, Ivy Kestrel was no normal girl.

But then again, in Artemis Fowl Junior's life… what _was_ normal?

* * *

Once they arrived at the Manor, Mistress and Mister Fowl were there to greet the new guest in Fowl Manor. Ivy wasn't as open armed and welcoming as you may have thought she may be. 

"Ivy, darling, welcome to the Manor…" Crooned Angeline, trying and failing to ignore the hostile glares going on between her son and Miss Kestrel. When two vivid colours go up against each other, it's usually quite hard to put aside.

"Miss Kestrel, your bodyguard is conversing with Juliet at the moment. Would you like to join them?" Asked Artemis Fowl Senior, breaking the tension between Artemis Junior and Ivy. Nodding curtly, she gestured at her bags,

"Where am I to put these, sir?" She asked politely, looking for all the world an ordinary thirteen-year-old girl. Unfortunately for the Fowls, this girl was about as far away from the 'average' line as Andromeda is from our Galaxy.

"No, no, I'm sure that Butler will be more than happy to help you to your room. I'll tell Juliet and… er… Nubi, was it? To go to your room." Smiled Angeline, hoping for a warm beam from the little girl in front of her. What she got was something between a sneer and a frown and a verbal thank you.

Angeline looked at her husband and sighed. The school couldn't have chosen a worse pairing for their little Arty.

Ivy surveyed her room, and was glad to find that there were no bugs in her room (she had borrowed it from the LEP… it wasn't as if she was going to use them for criminal activities… it was just to annoy Sool) and she continued to put her own little invention, the 'Warn Yarn' which was basically just a piece of string that set off an alarm system.

But there was a difference. A huge difference. You or me could hitch up a primitive one, where anyone who tripped the wire would get the alarm. Ivy's was updated. Instead of a piece of string, she had used a piece of near invisible wire that was the human equivalent of a spider's web. It wasn't breakable, and it was too thin to be detected. Something that Foaly and his biochemistry had helped her create. What was more, the alarm wasn't something that the intruder would be able to hear. It could only be heard by any dogs in the neighbourhood. The young Kestrel had put the alarm into high frequency, so only those who wore the special transmitters would be able to hear it.

Ivy had just finished setting it up when Master Artemis stepped in, setting off the alarm. Amazingly, he noticed the slight pressure on his leg, and smirked,

"It seems that your little alarm system isn't working. Need any offered help?" He asked, whilst Ivy rolled her eyes and jammed a tiny transmitter into his ear. At once, he instinctively put his hands over his ears, before he realised that it was the transmitter that was causing the consistent screeching.

Tearing it out, he stared at the girl, who was smiling smugly right now. She picked up the transmitter, and fixed the wire back. Artemis watched in fascination, and twanged the wire slightly, but not enough to set off the alarm again.

"What is this material? It has a highly woven standard, and it seems to be unbreakable. Any reason why?" He requested from the dark haired girl in front of him. His mother had sent him here to check if the exchange student was settling in properly.

"For the mere reason that it is quite difficult to make, and it takes a lot of my school time to do so. Even if the teachers are no good to learn from, they provide a very good target for my psychological experiments." Smirked Ivy, as if this were some normal conversation about the last episode of Doctor Who (A/N: I couldn't resist mentioning Dr Who… it's my favourite ever sci-fi show!).

A knock came at the door, and Ivy called through the door,

"Nubi, I know that's you, there aren't any hostiles, I've swept the entire room, there are no bugs, and I've set up the Warn Yarn so mind your footing, please." Smiled Kestrel, and the door swung open to reveal two tall girls, one with shoulder length black hair, her sunglasses perched on the top of her head, to reveal a pair of deep, brown eyes. You could have sworn they were black.

"Artemis, have you told you partner the arrangements yet?" Asked Juliet, her voice accented from a couple of months spent in America. She was had just come back from her tour, but she was still in the wrestling business.

"Ah. Not exactly, no." The pale adolescent turned to the equally pale girl in front of him, "Breakfast is at seven thirty, in time for us to get to school," _Even though there's not much point._ "and dinner at six. At seven, I'm usually in the gymnasium… you are welcome to join me if you wish." _And even you know that I would rather not have you there._ "Next weekend, we shall be taking you to Tara. I trust you have heard of the magical qualities of a well there?"

"Of course I do, I'm not a pessimistic senior citizen who shall insist that magic doesn't exist." Snapped Ivy, at the same time cursing her mother for putting her under the stupid oath.

"We shall also visit one of my… ah… favoured spots for a bit of… bird watching." His look at Juliet explained his meaning clearly. Ivy immediately figured it out. Master High-and-Mighty here wanted to go to Tara to meet with someone. Obviously, next weekend must have been the full moon. The perfect time for a surface sick fairy to come up and meet with the infamous Artemis Fowl.

"Fine by my watch. I'll take my binoculars with me." These words were addressed to Nubi. The binoculars were not normal ones. Like Artemis, she had cobbled together something that could see through fairy shields. Only these could detect fairies with locators as well.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, Miss Kestrel, I need to get back to my research on the different forms of carbon." Now this caught Ivy's attention, despite herself.

"Diamond, graphite, coal and buckminsterfullerene? I've done a little research on that subject. Care to let me have a look?"

"Of course, I am searching for a cure for cancer as well. I have hypothesised that all the cancers come down to one single gene that triggers the cancer, depending on where this faulty gene is situated." He gabbled, testing Ivy's vocabulary. If she could understand a word that he was saying, then he was impressed.

"Then your hypothesis is not the same as mine. I have theorised that the development of cancer is also dependant on your pituitary glands as well. Also, the notion of infinity is ridiculous, and I'm hoping that you agree…"

Juliet and Nubi were left in the room, startled by the way the two teenagers had started to argue on scientific and mathematical problems that had been accepted by the rest of the world so easily.

"Well, I guess that's how two brains the size of Jupiter react to each other." Murmured a startled Nubi, and started to help Juliet with the unpacking of her charge's luggage.

"Hey, I'm sure that I've seen one of these helmets before, I just can't place it…" Called Juliet, holding up a helmet with the insignia of an acorn on the front, and several buttons on the side. Nubi's eyes widened as she realised what it was...

* * *

A/N: Don't expect too many updates... I've got coursework when term starts and a whole load of homework besides... so you'll have to wait for about a month in between chapters.

Thanks again to all of my reveiwers... please feel welcome to submit negative reviews as well!


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 – In which Butler begins to investigate…**

Butler frowned. And a two metre tall giant is terrifying even when he smiles. Butler had also taken to talking to Holly on the laptop. Usually it was just to say hello, sometimes to check up on Sool, and others to check up on how the business was going. But this time, it wasn't even remotely similar to any of his previous calls.

As he saw the screen flickering on to reveal Mulch and his row of bone crushing molars, he jumped into the first question,

"Do you know anyone by the name of Ivy Kestrel?"

"A 'hello, nice to see you Mulch' wouldn't hurt. And why do you want to know?" Butler's soldier senses tingled. The last sentence was not spoken without hesitation.

"Because we have an exchange student here named that. She could almost be mistaken for a fairy, and I was wondering if anyone had disappeared from Haven or Atlantis or something?"

Mulch visibly paled, and clutched his gut, "Sorry, just came out of the tunnels. Er… sorry, you'd have to ask Holly that. I've heard that her step dad's in the MI5 and one of their top workers. That's all I know."

"Well, if you find anything… or if there's something that you remember in a minute's time…" Butler had learnt this trick from Madame Ko as well. When flustered, the principal's assassins would tend to blurt out things that they don't realise.

"No! I've never heard the name Kestrel, and nor does anyone else in Haven. Not even the Council members know! Nobody at all knows that name!"

From Mulch's agitation, the older Butler sibling concluded that a lot of people knew about these people. He just wondered why this girl, whilst way above average teenage intellect, was such a celebrity. He decided to run this past Artemis first.

"Alright, Mulch, it was just a question. It's just the paranoia from old age, I suppose." He smiled, terminating the link. Picking himself up, he turned to go downstairs. It was about time for the Fowls and the Kestrel to get acquainted.

* * *

Below ground, Mulch was still wide eyed and his beard hair was frozen solid. Never a good sign. He grabbed his phone, and paged the first number that came into his head when the two words 'Ivy Kestrel' came into a sentence.

"Foaly! Fowl and Kestrel are in the same house!"

"Don't you think I know? I've got 24 hour surveillance trained on them now!" For once, those smart quips and sarcastic comments had been kicked out of the centaur's mouth. When two teenage geniuses met together, and the both knew the existence of fairies… it was never a good thing.

And, when one of those teenagers had the power to destroy the Earth when she got angry, then so much more the trouble.

Grinding his tombstone teeth, Mulch debated on whether or not to call Holly on this one. But Holly was a PI, not an LEPrecon hotshot captain. Visas took time to sort out, and Fowl could not be allowed to find out about Ivy.

"The Mud Boy may have reformed his ways, but he'll always be part criminal." Muttered Mulch, speaking from personal experience. And with a brain the size of Fowl's? No way could it curl up in a corner and settle down.

There wasn't any choice. He picked up the phone, dialled, and waited for the owner to pick up.

"Mulch! I'm kinda in the middle of something here! Can't this wait?" Diggums heard the sound of a gunshot in the distance. Ah. Holly was dealing with something. And that something was probably a couple of thugs trying to steal the Frond necklace, their latest 'project'.

"Er… no. I have this feeling that you're going to be called up for some work real soon. Really, really soon." And, before Holly had a chance to demand what was coming, Mulch heard the ringing that indicated another caller on the phone.

"Yeah, I gotta go. Please don't kill me when you find out what it is!" Mulch terminated the link. It seemed that freedom wasn't doing much for him. He was still being chased by one of the best elves in the business.

* * *

Foaly was calling her again. Strange, thought Ivy, he doesn't usually try and call me unless he needs ideas or updating me on the latest evil doings of Ark Sool. She excused herself from the lab and rushed to the nearest lavatory.

"Foaly? Why are you calling me? Has Sool tried to tell you to go stuff your head inside one of your super expensive Atlantis plasma screens?"

"Yes, but no, that's not why I'm calling you. I need you to promise me that you won't tell Fowl who and what you are. He didn't stop until he discovered us. A cross-species war would be bad enough, but a cross-_reality_ war? I don't think any of us can take that!"

"Foaly, calm down, you overly intelligent centaur! My mum already forced me to do the Lightning Vow, so unless I'm suicidal, then there's no way that I could tell Master Fowl about my Mum and I. Are you satisfied now?"

Foaly's frown determined Ivy's suspicions. "No. Fowl found us and managed to contact us. There is no way in saying that he won't find out about you and your world. I'm half thinking of pulling you out of that trip right now."

"How do you do that, Foaly, without arousing anyone's suspicions? No, I'll make sure that Fowl doesn't find out from my mouth." _But I will make sure he hears it from someone else's mouth._

"Alright, but be on your guard, Fowl's one tricky character." Foaly quipped.

Ivy terminated the link, and returned to the lab. She would have to concentrate if she were to get the giant's attention. She re-entered, finding Fowl still examining the different types of carbon under the microscope.

She sighed. Why did life have to be so complicated for her?

* * *

Artemis hardly heard the girl enter. Maybe she wasn't as tomboyish as he had first thought. Unfortunately, he was still upset at the fact that she could hack into government files just as easily as he could. He hadn't thought that any human could do so as fast as he could.

Although that centaur, Foaly, certainly could do it faster than any human. Sometimes, he wondered whether or not that pony was melded to his computer or something. Artemis Fowl smiled. He had made a joke. He could hardly remember the last time he had chided himself for making a joke.

"Er… Fowl? Are you alright?" It wasn't even remotely near to a question. More like a demand. But there was just a spot of sympathy.

"Oh, yes, I'm fine… why shouldn't I be?" Asked Fowl, as if oblivious to the fact that he smiled in front of someone without his sadistic vampire smile.

And a vampire smile coming from him was, in itself, scary enough, much less a warm, sincere smile coming from Artemis Fowl the Second.

"Er… nothing. Nothing at all. Now, why do you think that carbon could have such an impact on the cures of cancer?"

If it had been anyone else rather than these two adolescents discussing this outside the classroom, then I would have sufficient reason to be worried.

When it was finally time for dinner, Artemis and Ivy had forgotten the original little squabble, but were still within the protective boundaries of business, and still miles from entering friendship. Angeline and Artemis Senior looked at each other worriedly, and nodded in unison.

"Arty, we need to talk for a second." Whispered Angeline, and Artemis Junior nodded to Ivy, indicating that she should go and seat herself without the Fowls for now.

"Arty, old boy, we don't think that you and Ivy are actually… bonding properly." Ventured Angeline; unsure of how she should put it.

"Mother, Miss Kestrel and I are fully bonding, and I must say that her intellect level is almost compatible with mine." Smiled Artemis, pleased that she had been able to understand and even argue with a few of his points.

"Yes, but you are still a fair throw away from friends, and that's what your mother and I wanted you to do on this trip. To make friends. Do you know anything about her family apart from what she's said on the letter?" Asked his father, and for once, Artemis had come to one question that he could not answer.

"I want you to try and talk to her about something other than logic and schoolwork." Scolded Angeline, the sentence sounding more like an order rather than a request.

Artemis Fowl the Second slumped his shoulders, and unwillingly dragged himself through the corridor and towards the dining hall.

Ivy had heard the entire conversation; such was her way with air. Settling down, she decided not to make things too hard for him. After all, her fists clenched on this thought, she could relate to what he felt like right now.

Butler was having other concerns. He had contacted one of his associates in England, who had access to the birth archives. Ivy was listed. Her mother was not. He once again checked her school records, searching for something that would lead him somewhere.

After several searches (the girl had moved several times in her early years) he found a lead. It seemed that Ivy Kestrel had a little tie in with the local bullies and ended up being charged of carrying a weapon and disposing it. The girl had denied the charges, but a hole in the gang's leader's arm wasn't something that proclaimed your innocence.

Butler checked the pictures. This bullet didn't look like normal bullet holes. He should have been the expert.

"Too thin… and too shallow." Muttered the giant to no one in particular. He saved the files into his archives. Master Artemis would have to see this.

Artemis and Ivy were going through an almost torturous evening. Being better than most psychologists, they were still not in full control of teenage hormones. If you're a teenager then you'll know about those little temper flaws everyone has.

"I do spend some of my time studying 'feminine' activities, thank you! I don't think that you can even lift a 5 kilogram weight without whimpering!" Snapped Ivy, finally cracking. She tried to calm down before the gale attacking the windows broke the French style windows.

"Well, at least I stick to my gender. I don't try any embroidery." Uttered Artemis, still refusing to budge from his position of sexist pig.

"Oh! I don't know why you can't just be civilised for once! Come on, can't you just at least be polite and ask me _why_ I insist on doing gymnastics and fencing when I can just as easily be amused by… what did you say? Oh yes, embroidery?" Genius she was, but calm and tranquil? Not a chance.

Angeline and Artemis Senior knew enough from their dates that when two tempers flared then it was time to call in the cavalry.

"Butler! Could you take Miss Ivy and Arty to the gym? I'm sure that Ivy can show you all how good she is at gymnastics!" Beamed Angeline, just as Dom came crashing down the stairs.

"Yes, ma'am. Should I take the Bentley or would you prefer we take the BMW?" Asked Butler, composing his breath.

"No need, Butler. I can show you all right here and now my gymnastic abilities." Smirked Ivy, taking a few steps backwards, making mental measurements and posing herself. Artemis Fowl Junior instinctively moved behind the chair he was sitting on.

Her smirk increasing, she flipped, twisted and skipped all the way to the end of the room. Then, ignoring the gasps from her audience, she cart wheeled all the way to the chair that her host had been hiding behind and landed with a backwards flip on the bar.

"Next time you say that a needle and dyed thread is more preferable than this, I'll use you as my dummy for fencing practice." She hissed, and flipped onto the carpet, smoothing herself into a bow.

Artemis looked at Butler with wide eyes, expressing his surprise. He had heard from Butler that she had been practising for a few years now, but this was definitely a first.

As for Butler, he was becoming more and more suspicious of this girl. She was obviously in contact with the underworld, and she had to possess some kind of magic. After all, he reasoned, even with all the natural ability in the world, you still couldn't get to Olympic standard within three years.

But, even in his wildest dreams, he couldn't have imagined what would happen in two days time at Tara.


	5. Chapter 5

Eoin Colfer is a genius. I cannot compete with him, and I do not own any of the characters. Only Ivy, Nubi and Ivy's mum. And they're the worst characters I've ever invented.

**Chapter 5 – In which Artemis begins to get attached**

After the display of gymnastics performed by the diminutive Kestrel, Fowl stormed away to his home gymnasium and started to do something he had refrained from doing after he had bought the thing.

Pounding the punch-bag until his fists hurt, he stopped for breath as he panted, the sweat dripping off him.

One thing was for sure. He had definitely improved his body from all this exercise for the last two months or so. It was difficult to think that only that long ago, he was being chased by a pixie turned human by surgery and about to be killed by hormone crazed trolls.

He was absorbed in all of these thoughts for a second. Then he remembered Holly and Commander Root. How was Holly taking this whole thing? He knew it must have been hard, losing a man who meant more than a superior officer to you.

"Are you going to let me come in or are you going to carry on dreaming?" Asked a sharp, yet welcoming voice. Artemis jumped about a metre into the air. He wasn't used to being caught off guard.

"Er… oh. It's you." The Fowl heir turned and faced the girl who just scared him witless. He was convincing himself that he had been concerned about the chair and his body in case the chair toppled over onto him. But another part of him knew that he was also concerned about the girl.

_Wow, she may even be able to enter a beauty pageant if she weren't so small. _He shook his head to clear his mind. 'Wow'? That wasn't even a word! And since when was he, Artemis Fowl the Second, heir to the Fowl Empire, interested in a girl going to a potential psychologically damaging contest?

* * *

With her power over air, Ivy was able to creep up on the boy and was planning to surprise him. But when she saw how worked up the boy was, she decided to let him cool off first.

_He looks pretty fit for a person with such a bad physical record._ Ivy chided herself for thinking such a thing. Since when did she fall call guys 'fit'? She couldn't prove Janey right and start to _like_ him. Although standing there, with sweat dripping off him, he _did_ look quite… she shook herself out of the daydream. No going to the place that Janey went to every time she saw a guy with muscles pass her in the streets.

"Are you going to let me in or are you going to carry on dreaming?" She asked, in what she hoped was a voice that didn't show any relent for what she did.

He shook his head, and Ivy had to refrain from feeling angry enough to make the curtains flap.

"If you were still angry with me after that work-out, then you have some serious anger management issues." Kestrel smirked, and turned heel to go to her room… or to explore, whichever suited her better.

"Wait! I mean… that is… I… I'm sorry I was being so sexist!" Artemis blurted, not even thinking that she may reject his apology and punch him. This occurred to him a second after he had spoken one of his first apologies.

Ivy was stunned. From what she had picked off from Argon's psychological report, he was incapable of feeling compassion and only had his mother healed because the social services were at the door.

But, then again, who could trust that moron to get something as complicated as the mind of a teenage genius correct?

"Apology accepted, but we have got to work on your punching!" The last part of the sentence didn't come out willingly. Ivy had to restrain herself from slapping her mouth.

"My punching? Seriously, girl, you may fight and kick and flip, but even I know from my theoretical research how to punch." Scoffed Artemis, although he had lied about the research part. He had only observed Butler punching. He had been kept busy with his research on cancer diseases.

"Alright, seeing as you did some research… why are you punching with your thumb on the inside of your fist? You may break it that way, if you hit hard enough. Here." She added, moving to his side, and fixing his hand position. She was uncomfortably aware of his breath and his presence.

"You want to aim for weak spots if the opponent is stronger than you. Like here," She pointed at where her ribs started, which made Artemis _really_ stare. "What?"

"I am not going to hit a girl there. I'm not being sexist this time… this time it's a matter of decency."

"Well, soon it may be a matter of life or death." Smirked the girl, jabbing her fingers below his ribs. Artemis, without thinking and completely instinctively, swung a punch that aimed right for that bone.

"Ouch! Okay, that was acceptable, but you do have to put more momentum into your elbow. Fighting is an art, not a hobby for a buffoon." Ivy grinned, and just like that, they started to make a friendship.

Yes, it's strange to start a relationship on the grounds of fighting, but what else would you expect from a girl who came from another dimension, could control the elements and had a higher IQ than most doctors, and a boy who used to be the head of a criminal empire and had the approximate IQ of a Nobel Prize winner?

* * *

Butler was planning to catch Master Artemis at his workout time to talk about the girl, but he heard the two children inside. Typical Master Artemis, bonding with a real friend by punching each other using theoretical punching techniques.

He decided to leave the two of them to it. There would be plenty of time to chat to Sool when the time came.

* * *

Holly Short was tired. More tired than a stinkworm trying to keep up with a troll, so the saying went. She had spent most of the day trying to round up the criminals stealing the Frond necklace, she had just got her pay for the job, and now this came up.

"No way, Foaly! Not even if Sool came in person and begged me to do something on bended knee. I am not acting as invisible babysitter and keeping an eye on the two kids who know we exist!" She screeched at her horsy friend.

"Holly, listen to me! This is a matter of security! I think you out of all of us know that Fowl is being a great help to the People. Even Ivy helps you sometimes, and she was the one who drew up the design for some of my inventions, remember? And she stops most of the worst earth tremors, with her special gift! Put her and Fowl together and it could mean disaster!" Foaly finished off with a distressed whinny.

"Why would it be disastrous? I mean, both of them are friends to the People…" Holly had just joined among the confused.

"Because Fowl is still stealing things, isn't he? As a modern day Robin Hood, I know, but seeing Kestrel's powers he may try and get her to help him! Can you see what this means? If even a trace of her power is seen, then it could mean exposing our subterranean existence, end of our civilisation and you know the rest."

Holly Short _did_ know the rest. Being the elf who had been involved in all of these 'end of our civilisation' events in the past two years or so, she was very acquainted with the dramatic speech.

"I still don't know why Trouble can't do this. Why did you have to call me? Sool doesn't even talk to me anymore!" Holly was becoming exasperated. Something that was happening more and more since the commander died. It was only a matter of time…

"Because even he knows now that you're the top elf for the job, however much he dislikes it. Julius would have wanted you to do this for the People, Holly…"

There. He'd said the magic word. Julius. The elf that haunted her dreams and hung over her like a presence waiting to move on. He was like a father to her, and Holly knew that it was going to take at least a decade to stop sobbing herself to sleep over him.

It had taken her around a decade to sob away the pain from her own father's death.

"Alright, but you had better pay me for this job, Foaly, because babysitting one kid genius is hard enough without another trying to tell me about quantum physics or whatever."

"Thank you, Holly! We're putting you on the next hotshot up to the surface." She heard a couple of keys tapping and a hesitant Foaly, "Ah…"

"What? When's the next hotshot?" Her gut already knew the answer, even though her mind was still trying to catch up.

"The next one doesn't leave till Saturday, so I'm afraid that you're going to have to ride a shuttle. Or you can wait two days… I can't give you orders, and nor can Sool now that you're a civilian."

Holly thought about it. Nothing was worth going into another public shuttle.

"I'll wait two more days. It won't hurt the world to wait a couple of days."

* * *

Artemis was impossible to talk to at the moment. Butler was trying to tell him about the girl's information and his suspicions, but it seemed that Master Fowl was now experiencing his first ever crush.

"Artemis, her school records show an extraordinary amount…"

"She has so much attitude, and her knowledge of engineering is almost compatible with mine…" Typical of a teenage genius. You have a crush and the first thing you think about is her smarts.

Juliet came in, took one look at the abnormally unfocused eyes of Artemis and rolled her eyes. She took her brother away for a second,

"Leave him until tomorrow. Nubi says that she can't get Ivy to speak one sentence coherently, and her emeralds aren't exactly as sharp as eagle's eyes usually are. Let's just hope that Mr and Mrs Fowl don't find out too soon."

Butler rolled his eyes, and patted his charge on the shoulder,

"Never let yourself get too attached to the girl, Master Artemis. She'll be the one who laughs at you more than twice and you can never do anything about it."

Juliet elbowed him playfully, and they both left their young adolescent charge thinking and chiding himself for starting to like his exchange student.

_I am Artemis Fowl. I should not be attached to anyone and anything. It's only a couple of months until Jon Spiro comes out of prison, maybe less, with his influence, and he can just pay a visit to me anytime he wants to. And when that happens, I've got to be sure that I don't act like this anymore. It could mean that my family and Ivy can get hurt._

* * *

Ivy, meanwhile, was conversing with her mother over her mobile.

"Mother, I know that you want me to visit Spiro, but he's coming out in a couple of months anyway… can't it wait till then?" Jon Spiro was her father's third cousin-in-law by marriage (her father's third cousin Muriel had married Spiro's brother) and Spiro was her least favourite 'uncle'.

"Now, dear, you know that Jon loves to see you… and being in prison can't be doing all that well with his gut. And he does know about you and your powers, so could you please go visit him?"

"But, mother, in case you have forgotten, I am in Ireland and with a family. I need to stay here unless you want to pull me from the entire trip for this one stupid visit to a person I don't even like." Grumbled Ivy, whilst in her mind she was muttering, _Don't make me go, please don't make me go…_

"Can't your partner go with you? I'm sure that your father can make some arrangements and you can all go together. I'm sure that you'll like that!" Ivy could almost feel the radiance beaming off her mother.

"Alright, but you're going to have to ask the school, Fowl's parents, Fowl himself, the IRA and a bunch of other people… father's only in MI5, remember? Not MI6."

"Yes, but he has a lot of influence with the head of transportation and you and Artemis can travel to Chicago in style!"

"Let me guess. You want me to go with my exchange student on a short notice to Chicago to visit someone he doesn't know and most probably won't like in a helicopter? Mother, you are insane!" It wasn't often that Ivy Saraswati Kestrel insulted someone, but somehow, Fowl and her mother could make her want to call them all the bad words she knew (and that amount could be counted on one hand).

"Yes, dear, you can call me insane, but I can still make you do so." Ivy almost felt as if she hated her mother at times like these. Not everyone's mum was an expert hypnotist and could make you do anything and everything she wanted you to do.

"Fine. You just make sure you can persuade all those people to let me go. Just not this weekend, okay? I'm going over to Tara to do a bit of bird-watching, okay?"

And, as predicted, her mother immediately asked,

"Tara? Alone with a boy? Oh, my little girl, out on her first date without breaking the boy's nose!"

"Mother! I am not going out on a date with him! I came VERY close to breaking his nose and no, you cannot ask father to come over here and secretly take pictures of me and Artemis going our separate ways because I need to go to E1 and meet someone!"

Okay, so the meeting was fake, but it threw her mother off her trail, didn't it?

"Ivy, you know that I have forbidden you to meet anyone without consulting me first!"

"Mother, I assure you that it is just a short trip. No holding of hands, no kissing and certainly no pictures taken from a safe distance, alright?"

* * *

At school, things weren't exactly better. That is, for the teachers.

Ivy had proved herself a second Artemis Fowl the Second, reducing half the staff into tears when they gave the quadratics to do. They hurriedly put her on the same list as they put the 'Fowl boy' and they worked in a small corner.

Naturally, being a maths lesson and nobody actually listening to what the teacher was saying, they all tried to listen to what the two geniuses were saying. Janey, the hopeless romantic that she was, eavesdropped on their conversation.

"No, no, no! The hormonal structure of a male…"

"How can you be sure that the genetic ground of mammals vary according to sex…"

"Because they do already, if you have studied your textbooks hard enough…"

I think you can understand when most of the nosy parkers jumped right out of that particular argument almost immediately. Anyone who managed to understand all of their scientific jargon were somewhere in a laboratory, trying to find a cure for the common cold!

At lunch, Janey dragged Ivy away from a debate with Artemis about the recent political events and how they should have argued the cases.

"You like him, don't you?" Demanded Janey slyly.

"Well, of course I like him, he's got excellent knowledge on the latest technology and he has so many original ideas of his own…"

"No, no… you misunderstood me. I meant that you _like_ him, if you catch my drift!" Chuckled Jane, drawing out a bright red face from her best friend.

"Well… I …er… I got to go and catch up with Nubi, give her an update before she implodes and starts to suspect I got killed!"

Rushing away from a smirking and self-satisfied Janey, Ivy Kestrel asked herself, _am I really starting to like him? Impossible… only person I like isn't even human!_

Arty's question to himself was pretty much the same. Why was he being so sentimental to a mere girl? She was pretty, certainly, and she was smart. Maybe that was why he suddenly liked her this much. She could relate to him and she could actually understand all the technical jargon he spewed out most of the time.

Yes, that was it. He just had a small crush on her because she was one of the first people his age who could understand him. This feeling would wear off in time.

* * *

A/N: Arty, you idiot! You. Like. Her. Accept that and ask her out already! Ah… but I am the writer and I shall make Artemis as blind to his affections as I like.

Read and Review, people!


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6 – In which they both meet fairies**

Nubi and Juliet were escorting the teenagers to Tara. One of them was a little more informed on the real subject of the visit.

In the back, Artemis and Ivy were putting their heads together and designing a new computer program. Of course, two genius minds were never destined to think in perfect harmony.

"No, no, no, we are not going to insert in that piece of hardware… the virus scans are not even up to seventy-five percent reliable, Kestrel."

"The point of these restrictions are so that children can appreciate more of the internet websites than usual. You do know that most parents put up blockers on most of the websites children like to go on to encourage them to watch Discovery channels, don't you?"

"Yes, but isn't that like encouraging the children to watch more television than usual and not for educational purposes only?"

"Well, if you'd ever studied business, then you'll know that it's the products that people like that they'll buy! And, so far, you haven't said anything about parents!"

Juliet rolled her eyes. All of them being dressed in civilian clothing (Artemis with a little more protesting than the rest before Ivy threatened to kick his shins) to blend into the countryside, it was going to take some convincing to Sool that he wasn't Artemis Fowl.

As for Nubi, she wasn't unduly worried. Being the one who had done worse than Juliet in weapons and combat, but much better in discipline at Madame Ko's Academy, she was able to put the trust in the two adolescents. After all, being in civilian clothing and acting like geniuses still made them civilians in the eyes of most humans.

Unfortunately for Nubi, she really did think this was a trip to see birds. Disciplined and smart she might have been, but with a great memory? I wish! She had brought the binoculars, but she had long forgotten that her charge had them redesigned and cobbled together a Fairy Tracker.

"Here's your binoculars, Miss Kestrel. I'll be over there if you need me. I know that you can kick anyone's behind if you wanted to." Winked Nubi, going over to the tree spot where Ivy thought she spotted something.

Spinning around with her binoculars, she caught another flicker. It seemed as if the flicker knew that she was watching.

"Er… one second, Artemis. Could you excuse me? I need to go and check something out." Smiled Ivy, leaving Artemis alone with his palmtop, _no doubt trying to track the same fairy that I've just spotted_, thought Ivy, hopping onto the tree.

Swinging gracefully up the tree, she tapped the shielded fairy on the shoulder. As the fairy turned, Ivy saw that this fairy didn't have those new suits that she had designed with Foaly. She quickly deducted that this fairy wasn't with the LEP… either that or the fairy was just nosy and wanted to watch the two teenagers.

"Excuse me, fairy, but I'd rather you didn't watch my friend and I. You _do_ know who I am, don't you?" Asked Ivy in her reasonable voice. The fairy came round to face her.

There was an audible pause, and the elf glanced around, obviously checking that Fowl wasn't watching. The elf unshielded, revealing short, auburn hair, and hazel eyes that could literally hold you in its power.

"Ivy, if you know what's good for you and for the People, you'll leave this place now!" Hissed Holly Short, grabbing Ivy's sleeve and shaking her soundly, "Why are you here? I thought you lived in England? Gods, are you and Fowl out on a _date?_" Whispered Holly urgently.

Ivy had had enough. Shrugging Holly's hands off, she answered the questions in order.

"One, I'm here on a school exchange trip. Two, I live in England, but the exchange trip was between my school and Artemis's school and I'm not about to travel across the Irish sea everyday! And thirdly, why is everyone just jumping to the conclusion that Fowl and I are out on a date?" The last one came out as a strangled yell.

"Are you alright there, Kestrel? Fallen out of the tree, have you?" Came a voice that was unmistakably Artemis's. Clapping her hand across her mouth, Ivy parted her fingers to call out,

"I'm fine, don't worry your frail little muscles about it. I'm not as liable to go running into trouble as you are!" She shouted back, turning to Holly again.

"Why are you following Artemis and I?" She demanded, as if Holly had no choice but to obey her. The young Kestrel had learnt this trick from her mother's tone of voice when her mother was trying to weasel something out of her.

"Alright, alright, I only just got here. Foaly sent me to spy on the two of you, so that you wouldn't try and use any of your powers trying to rob the newest security in Ireland." Holly sounded grumpy. Obviously, she had done this against her better judgment. "Anyhow, why are you with the Mud Boy? It doesn't say that you've got to accompany him everywhere on the syllabus, does it?"

Ivy muttered something inaudible. Detective Short couldn't make out every word, but she caught the word 'Mum'.

Ah. So that was why Ivy Saraswati Kestrel was following instead of leading. Holly's fist clenched. Her own mother had passed away when she was barely even twenty, leaving her and her father to mourn for her. She would have given anything to have a mother, but even _she_ knew that Ivy's mother was a little too possessive.

"You don't have to listen to everything your mum has to say… I mean, aren't you a teenager or something, now? Your job is to make her life a misery!" Muttered Short, her famous temper blaring up.

"Look, Holly, you're straying from the point… why did Foaly send you here? It isn't as if I'll be telling Fowl about me very soon… he'll somehow find out, I'm sure." Then, seeing the raised eyebrow on Short's face, she hurriedly mended the sentence, "I mean, if he's as smart as he claims to be, then I think that you'll find that he can deduct things just as quickly as I can. And it really isn't my fault that the very _air_ acts strangely around me!"

With this, the wind picked up, twirling around her, as if to try and comfort her and calm her down. Ivy forced her anger down, and the wind departed from her.

"Alright, Foaly sent me here because he was afraid that if Fowl found out about you, then he would use you to rob banks, and if even a trace of your power is seen somewhere… well, you know the rest of it."

Ivy did know. Since she was eleven, she had been in contact with Foaly almost daily, getting the advice on the latest engineering technology, how to streamline a vehicle… and at the same time, she would see what was going on in the underworld. There were three worrying situations so far, and whilst she didn't know many names, she had pestered Foaly until he yielded the _human's_ name at the very least.

"Yes, okay, I get you. But why did they send you? I thought that you and Mulch had set up a detective agency that's actually raking in the money, aren't you? I mean to say that people have started to rely on the Short & Diggum's Agency instead of the LEP more, haven't they?"

"Yes, but to tell the truth, it's much easier being on the LEP… you get to have weapons, and not just your fists. Seriously, the agency isn't that funded as to the extent that they'll let us have weapons permit. It'll be a good two years or so till that."

Ivy gnawed at her lip. She desperately wanted to know why Foaly wanted Holly to look after her and Fowl. Granted, Holly was Ivy's best friend in the underworld, and it was Holly who would look after her for a few days when she was still a child, teaching her the basics of weapons training and aiming.

Not the top two things that a parent wanted her child to do, but what choice did she have if every few minutes the said child would cause a thunderstorm or worse when exposed to the surface?

"Okay, I'll accept that you're here on official business, and I've already done the Lightning Vow with mother, so you can just enjoy the countryside for now, okay?" Said Ivy absently, wandering where Artemis had got to. Then she remembered the most important part of the day.

"Holly, do you know anyone who's coming to the surface this evening? I mean, apart from you." Ivy needed to know… because she had already guessed who it was, but she needed some kind of promise that he was coming.

"Not that I know of, but this is _Tara_, remember? Every fairy hippie will be dancing around here, and we'll look as if we're underwater, there'll be so many People in this place. And you're asking me to specify _one_? Have you gone bonkers?" Chided Holly, punching her playfully on the shoulder. But one look into Ivy's green eyes and she knew that this was not the time to joke around.

"Okay, if you really want to know, I heard from Mulch's friend that Sool is coming up this month, but he comes up every month. Just not around the Tara place. This year's a one-off." Mulch had too many friends to keep track of. When Holly mentioned the words 'Mulch' and 'friend' was when she couldn't be bothered to think of the names that started to pop into her head.

_How does Mulch remember all those names?_ Holly wondered. Then she saw the raised eyebrow of her young friend. _Sometimes she reminds me so much of that Mud-Boy… even though we know they weren't even born in the same reality._ Then she felt it. The realisation hit her before her hand did. How could a few short months have changed her intuitive so much?

"You don't think that Artemis and Sool are…" Started Holly, looking Ivy straight in the eye, which was a lot easier than when she tried to make eye-contact with Artemis now – the boy had grown at least four inches since the last time they had met.

"I'm afraid so, Holly. Come on, before Sool figures out that I'm here as well and decides that he needs his memory wiped again, and that I've been too much responsibility for the People to keep a secret and wipe me as well." Jumping out of the tree, she landed on two feet, as graceful as a cat.

"Still, maybe if he wiped me, the council will vote him out. I mean, I'm the one who saved you from all those earthquakes. I actually asked the earth to stop shaking and the plates healed. So now, you only have to worry about really, really distant quakes." She joked, though Holly could tell from the girl's eyes that she was lying.

"Promise me that you won't get too attached to him. If you do, I'll have to…"

"You'll have to what? Put the _mesmer_ on me and not let me have my happiness?" The Kestrel almost sounded serious! Was she, Ivy Saraswati Kestrel, girl genius, controller of elements, actually developing an _attachment_ to Fowl? Holly Short shook her head, and hovered behind the diminutive figure.

* * *

Artemis had met up with Butler at the well, and Butler had already put on his disguise. With the leftover latex, Artemis had made a mask that would alter as soon as the computer gave it an image, and it would change into that image.

"Alright, then Butler. I daresay that Sool will come. I am determined to get him fired from his job. It really was quite helpful of Foaly to allow us access to his files in return for not spreading the news. At that time, Artemis had slipped something undetectable in… something that he had found in his lab that one of Foaly's technicians had not detected.

A micro-bug, which had been planted into Foaly's systems, allowed the young Fowl to roam around on the PPIF (PeoPle Internet Facility) and he had picked up a few interesting facts about Sool.

For one, Sool wasn't always so great. In fact, it also shoed a slight criminal record that had always been traced down to drinking. The problem was that Sool had been married to a sprite, but the sprite had gone missing a few centuries before. And that got Artemis thinking. Quite rapidly.

He scaled the walls of the PPIF, and soon found Sool having black market sales with Mud Men Wine. And then Artemis had found a picture of his 'late' wife. He studied it closer. Until he finally managed to figure out why the character looked so familiar.

It was the sprite he had taken the Book from in Ho Chi Minh City.

His thoughts were interrupted by the red blip on the screen flashing rapidly. Covering himself with some cam-foil that he had taken from Detective Short's bag before she had quit, he hid in the shadows, and left Butler (or Mr. Zhan) to his business.

* * *

A few minutes run from his place, were two girls, one on wings, and the other one on foot. Surprisingly enough, the girl on foot was the one going faster. 


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7 – In which Artemis only finds out half of the story…

"Sool! Stop right there!" Panted Ivy, slightly out of breath, even though she had been using her affinity with air to speed herself up. Her hair out of shape, and with the air around her momentarily agitated, her hair had come down from her plait and was now floating around as if it were underwater.

_Down, air, don't blow my cover from the two humans._ She sent the signal to the atmosphere around her. The wind died down, but reluctantly. _But you are also a human… we can feel it._

Not bothering to answer that, she turned her attention to Sool. His eyes narrowed and then widened as he realised who this was.

"Ivy Saraswati Kestrel! What are you doing here? I thought you lived in England? Which is, if I remember my school days correctly, on the _other_ side of the Irish Sea?" Ivy rolled her eyes. She had forgotten how annoying the little gnome was. Even when she was small, she resented the way he patronised her by handing her a little baby elephant and playing 'peek-a-boo' with her.

"Yes, but if you actually stayed in touch with the outside world, you will realise that I am here for my exchange. It just so happened that _here_ is where the exchange was taking place."

If Sool really knew what was going on outside his office (and Ivy highly doubted it… the guy didn't even watch PPTV!) then he put on a brilliant show of surprise when he say Butler turn to the diminutive girl and mutter (but still loud enough for his ears to hear),

"Miss Kestrel, I do not think Master Artemis would like you turning up here and ruining the proceedings…"

"Artemis? As in Fowl? What in the name of Frond are you talking about?" Exclaimed Sool, his sagging cheeks now stretched as far as his mouth would allow.

A rustling from the bushes made the air tense, and then relax. It was only Artemis, reasoned Ivy, and upon seeing the raven dark hair and the astonishingly blue eyes, she smiled as she proved her prediction.

"Yes, Sool, as in Fowl. It has been a few months, has it not? How's the LEP suffering from your control?" Smirked Artemis, enjoying the sensation of elation as he saw the dramatic change of emotions from surprised to outraged on the gnome's features.

"Oh, only a dozen or so officers have left the service and joined Holly's squad. Short and Diggum's is becoming quite a party now… they're thinking of going onto PPTV and advertising for informants. Completely voluntary and undercover, of course." Kestrel smiled in her own spooky way – when she smirked, it looked as if dark wings would suddenly sprout from her shoulders (which could, in all probability, actually happen).

"Like to explain what you are doing here, and with a Mud Man, no less? I thought that the People weren't allowed to have dealings with humans." Frowned Ivy. She was trying her hardest not to look at Artemis, seeing as his body language was screaming at her, 'how do you know this guy?'

"They have my wife! I demand to have her back! I knew that Fowl would relapse if we didn't do something about it…"

Now this made Ivy's eyebrows jump up.

"Your wife? I thought she was caught drinking Martinis a century or so ago, wasn't she? You know, banished into the human world? How could Artemis find your wife?" Ivy was sceptical. According to rumour (and of course, Foaly's archives) Sool's wife had broken the rule of not taking spirits with the Mud Men. But that was over a century ago now. Artemis's grandfather probably hadn't even yet been conceived!

"He gave me a photo! It had my wife's arm on it!" Screamed Ark, now near to screaming his head off. He flung the single piece of paper towards them. Using her power of air to carry the photo towards her, and smiling that Artemis still hadn't noticed the air acting strangely around her, she saw a mottled green hand. She frowned. Surely a single arm was too little evidence?

"I asked that pompous centaur to run a scanning. Underneath that cloth, it's a sprite. I'd recognise that face anywhere! I stared at it everyday! It's my wife, I tell you! It's my wife, and they are holding her hostage!"

Ivy nodded. But internally, she was still raising her eyebrow. This was Artemis Fowl, not some petty criminal! And Sool? Falling to his knees for his wife? She was still really quite doubtful.

"What did Fowl tell you he would do if you didn't bring the ransom?"

"I didn't tell him to bring any money. I just told him to bring his conscience." Artemis's blue eyes were too blue to resist… _shake yourself out of that trance, he's not your mum!_ Ivy scolded herself, turning back to Sool.

"What conscience? All I know about Sool is that he's a git and that he took over the LEP out of politics, not actions. Despite that, he's about last on my list of 'likely to commit crimes'."

At this, Sool sobbed even louder. Ivy rolled her eyes. He may have looked stuck up on the outside, but on the inside he was just a big crybaby, as he was demonstrating right now.

"Actually, no. Sool's history is quite interesting, if you bothered to read up on it, Kestrel. It doesn't exactly show that he's a man without something on his conscience."

Here, Ivy started. It wasn't often that someone knew something that she didn't. And now that she had experienced the feeling, she wasn't entirely sure whether or not she liked the plummeting sensation.

"What conscience? The man doesn't even know where the local church is, Fowl. How the heck is he going to know where he wants to look?"

Artemis had gotten over his initial surprise at Ivy coming out and greeting Sool. After all, he was only aware of three people being informed on the whereabouts and the existence of the People. But now, seeing as the other person who knew about the People was right here, he could play this to his advantage…

"Now, then, Sool. Would you care to explain to me why you're on speaking terms with my exchange partner here? I was under the impression that I was the only one who knew of your existence underground. Who found who first?" He smirked, just for the sake of driving up Sool's blood pressure. He wasn't a criminal, but he could still be evil when he wanted to be.

"What, Ivy here hasn't told you yet Fowl? I suppose that she doesn't trust you enough to know that…"

And right at that moment, Holly's foot came out of nowhere and smacked Sool right in the chest. The gnome hadn't been physically injured since his school-days, and that was just from the constant bullying he was the target of, and he immediately slumped into a faint.

Much to Holly's (and to Butler and Ivy and everyone else who was there) dismay, she didn't manage to get in a second punch. It really was a little too disappointing. Artemis, however, didn't let that hinder him. You know that phrase 'let someone walk all over you'?

Well, to Sool, it was no longer a saying, thanks to Artemis.

"His smile always did annoy me. And when the genius mind is annoyed, then psychologically speaking…"

"Psychologically speaking, according to you, the mind will tend to fall to primitive stages, generally prone to violence or violation of personal space. Now come on, Fowl, your parents will either think we're lost, or we've lost sense of time and come looking for us."

"Aww, but I want to see the arrest of Sool! Please, Artemis, say that we can stay, I want to see the guy's face!" Whined Juliet. Artemis rolled his eyes, not believing that he was in the same household as her, and Ivy just smiled, glad to have someone who was similar to Jane by her side.

The journey back to the Bentley wasn't something that either teenager enjoyed. Ivy had formed several theories about why Artemis was trying his hardest to not talk to her (a vein popping from his jaw being no indication whatsoever, of course) and Artemis, knowing full well that Ivy was just as accomplished in psychology as he was, didn't make an effort to prove otherwise.

Butler and Juliet were both more than a little astonished, Juliet a little more than Dom, and it wasn't until they reached the Bentley that Juliet had gathered enough audacity to ask,

"Why didn't you tell us that you had contacts within the little people, then?"

Ivy smiled weakly at this. Inside, she was attempting to come up with a plausible excuse. It wasn't as if she was going to tell them that she was only in contact with them because the fairy mind-wiping equipment somehow refused to work on her. That would just make them even more suspicious.

"Er… they thought that I was too innocent to mind-wipe, so they decided to train a second Foaly. You know, the centaur?" She was only too aware that they knew about Foaly. The centaur was, of course, the only other person on the earth and under it who could make Artemis's eyes widen.

Artemis, being the bothersome genius that he is, snapped at Ivy,

"Why don't you just give up this masquerade and admit it? The fairies found you only because you somehow fell down one of their chutes, and by some miracle, you were pulled out by the LEP, and they just didn't have the heart to turn someone like you into a mindless human. Am I correct?"

_No, but thanks for providing me with the best excuse I've heard all this time, Arty._ Thought Ivy, and began to re-inflate Artemis's ego. She was amazed that he managed to guess so quickly, she claimed, and continued to steer them away from the subject of the People. Unfortunately, Butler was not so convinced.

But he wasn't about to tell Artemis that. In some ways, Master Artemis was a lot like Commander Root. Well, with the 'get some rock hard evidence or get out of the labs until you've got some' attitude, at any rate. The story Master Artemis had provided Miss Kestrel with was plausible, as any excuse he came up with was.

So Butler had to find something that wasn't plausible to make up for it.

On evenings such as the one we are venturing onto now were the ones where Artemis and Ivy would go outside and Ivy would wander away into the woods. Artemis was not unduly worried, seeing as she was armed with her palmtop, complete with a satellite and radio communications. It was plain to anyone that if she really didn't come out, it was because she had found gold.

That evening was no different. Well, alright, maybe just the smallest bit different. This time, Artemis actually insisted that he come with her into the forest. Shrugging, Ivy pointed to the forest and said, "Be my guest."

Being brought up near woods where you could frequently step on nettles didn't exactly help Artemis. For one thing, the last time that he had consented to go for a walk with his parents was when he was about six, and didn't know that there were plants there that could make his ankles itch and hurt at the same time.

For Ivy, however, it wasn't exactly a new experience. After all, the elements included Earth, and it was perhaps Earth that worked the best with her. By the time they reached the usual spot where Ivy stayed for about half an hour every time they came out, Artemis had been scratched, bitten and had so many nettle stings that he was doing all he could not to cry out something that began with 'S' and ended with 'hit'.

"You have to tell me if its just natural instinct that keeps you from getting scratched by these brambles or just my bad luck." He grumbled, rubbing where he had fallen and grazed his knee, and wincing as he did so.

"Here, let me have a look, I've done this to myself often enough." It was true. She had requested that the Earth harmed her during her first time in a forest, so that she could learn what she needed to do to heal her own injuries. "It's a good thing that I keep a bottle of this safe with me."

She poured some of Holly's Nettle-sting formula onto several of the raw bits on Artemis's ankles. She almost swore, _why did he have to wear shorts today of all days?_

"This isn't poison, " she reassured him as he winced, "It's Holly's special formula. She used to get a good number of these herself above ground and you can't rely on magic too much. And don't pull away. I want to see if the badgers come out again."

Artemis was still for the rest of the session, but Ivy knew that he wasn't obliging. He was thinking of the best response.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier about your knowing the People?" He asked finally, deciding that tact really wasn't going to work very well with this Kestrel. "I wouldn't have thought you were crazy, and it's not as if you hadn't heard of me before."

A single mother badger crawled out of her sett, sniffed around, and finally decided that the two pale humans weren't about to attack her cubs, and barked for her new-born cubs to come out.

"You wouldn't tell either if you had a mother who could kill you if you disobeyed her." She murmured, and left Artemis to his own thoughts.

_Excellent. I've planted the first seed._ She thought, as she settled down to call the badgers to her.

A/N: Sorry for taking so long! I really am quite busy and I have about half an hour before I have to go sing in London! Even though this is probably the worst chapter yet, plz R&R!


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I am not Eoin Colfer, and none of the characters are mine except for Ivy, Nubi, Melissa and Mr Kestrel. If Artemis &co. were mine, I'd also be an international bestseller, but, unfortunately, I'm not.

**Chapter 8 – In which we find out that Ivy has more talents than meets the eye**

Ivy was still wandering about Fowl Manor and marvelling at how much security the Butlers had managed to stuff into the walls (but considering their metre wide thickness, you wouldn't be too surprised) and she was still avoiding the music room (used only by one occupant in the house – if you can't guess who, then you're just thick, aren't you?).

Ever since she was a child, Ivy had been given the gift of Music. And not on a small basis either. If she sang a sad song, then everyone would be in tears. If she hummed a C major chord, everyone within hearing distance would be jumping for joy.

And that wasn't a figure of speech. Ivy had to be extra careful of her voice when it came to standing on the edge of cliffs.

And it wasn't as if she was rubbish at anything that was associated with females, in fact, she did dedicate some of her time to art, drama, music (well, the latter more than the other two). The problem was that she loved music. Perhaps a little too much. However much she loathed it when her mother showed her off to any guests who came, she was still passionate about it. Her hands itched to try the grand piano in the room…

"Are you going to enter or not?" Came a cold, yet slightly amused voice.

Ivy almost jumped. She was still not used to Artemis managing to turn up anywhere she was without making a single sound with his feet.

"Do you have to always sneak up on me all the time? It's really not amusing. And no, I am not going in there. I can't play any instruments, remember?" Okay, a lie, but not necessarily a bad one, right?

Wrong! She should have guessed what had happened even before Fowl's mouth opened. "The parcel your mother sent contradicts that story quite strongly. And she reminds you to keep on exercising your voice in case it freezes over through no practising. She says that you need to practise on the piano as well, and that the parcel should include all of your instruments."

Ivy's eyes widened at this thought. "Er…it's not often I say this, so consider yourself lucky… have you gone out of your mind?"

To this, Artemis was startled, "Pardon me?"

Rephrasing her question, Ivy let it out in a strangled whisper, "Have you seen how big the parcel is, by any chance?"

She had no need to carry on, as a walkie-talkie (which Artemis now carried around with him everywhere) squawked into life. Although 'squawked' wasn't the best adjective to use. If you closed your eyes and just listened, then you would swear that the sound was coming from a human being right in front of you that was how clearly the sound transmitted.

Of course, considering that Artemis and Foaly were now exchanging details and ideas… it's really not very difficult to comprehend.

"Artemis," Came the unusually hesitating voice of Artemis's old bodyguard and oldest friend, "There could be a problem with just two people lifting this thing."

"What do you mean, Dom? I'm sure that it's just a small case… or is it too valuable to pick up?" This he aimed at Ivy, eyebrow raised a fraction of a centimetre. Ivy's answer wasn't verbal. She simply shrugged.

_Sometimes, _Artemis groaned inwardly, _it's as if the girl has no idea how to use her vast vocabulary that can easily rival mine._ Note that he hesitated to say 'surpass'.

"Well, I'll come and see if you're joking or if the parcel really does need more people than just you, Juliet and Nubi to carry it. Are you at the main entrance?"

"We can't even get it into the building. It's really that heavy." He sounded serious. Now Artemis's sceptical mind was starting to turn over.

"We'll be there in about five minutes." He stated into the speaker, indicating towards the door for Ivy, and proceeded to follow her out.

Ivy skipped the stairs about three at a time, and considering her size, it was very impressive. Artemis was almost out of breath by the time they got up to the entrance. And that was when he was about ten steps behind. _Why can't she wear a skirt like mother keeps on wanting her to?_ He wondered feverishly, thinking back to the conversation that was exchanged between his mother and Ivy.

"_My dear, do you usually wear trousers and jeans at home?"_

"_Of course, Mrs Fowl. They are the most comfortable pieces of clothing my mother permits me to wear." A faint smile passed over her lips._

"_Yes, but doesn't she encourage you to wear dresses?" Astonishment was hardly covered in Mrs Fowl's voice. A flash of annoyance burned in Ivy's heart._

"_Yes, but I tend to disobey. It would stop me from moving with the freedom that most girls my age take for granted."_

_Sometimes, _Artemis reflected, _it's better to be prohibited. Then you'd have no way of overtaking me during a dash for the door._

He halted in his tracks as he came to the entrance. It took all of his willpower not to let his jaw drop. He now had proof that Domovoi was, in fact, telling the truth.

"How many instruments do you play?" He asked in a slightly strangled whisper.

"Well, I play the piano, but she's just packed the books, and the violin, the clarinet, the flute, the guitar, the trumpet, the Yan Qing, the recorder, I sing quite well… er… have I missed anything out, Nubi?"

With a slight glint in her eyes, Nubi smirked,

"There's the banjo, and the wind flute, and the organ, and the bassoon, and I specifically remember that your mother tried to make you learn how to play the…"

"Don't you dare, Nubi, don't you dare even _mention_ that time. Those were the longest five days of my life when she tried to make me learn that instrument." Snapped Ivy, already unpacking her instruments. Artemis was astonished to see more than one book for each instrument.

The unpacking was followed by remarks like, "I can't believe she packed this," or "_Per l'amore di Dio!_ When will she learn that I don't like to sing?"

When they started to take everything to the music room, Artemis was slightly doubtful. How could she learn so many instruments and be even remotely good at all of them? He concluded that she was still halfway through learning all of these instruments, and that was why her mother had had them shipped over to Ireland.

That is, of course, until Angeline Fowl and Artemis Fowl Senior confronted them at dinner.

* * *

Dinner at Fowl Manor was hardly a family occasion, not with a table over two feet long and three bodyguards surrounding the place. But, nonetheless, Angeline tried to make it as 'family' as possible.

"I heard that your mother had all of your instruments sent over today. Would you like to give us a demonstration?" Mrs Fowl was trying to be kind, Ivy reminded herself, she doesn't know how much you loathe performing.

"I prefer not to be heard, Mrs Fowl, if you'll take no offence." She looked at her napkin. Her affinity with air told her that Angeline was now disappointed that her son's exchange partner was not as fond of the limelight as Mrs Fowl had hoped she would be. Artemis Junior's aura revealed that his curiosity had been aroused, and Artemis Senior just wanted to hear someone else play apart from his wife.

Sighing, she conceded. "Very well, as it is quite clear that you would like me to play, I shall perform a short piece on every instrument until you tire and return to your rooms."

But she knew very well that nobody could tear themselves away from her music. It was like trying to tear your gaze away from a particularly strong _mesmer_ (which was impossible even for the strongest wills). She stared at the dishes, and began to wish that she had never come.

Starting by the piano, she tried a couple of keys. _Tuning not too bad, could do with a little dusting, but all in all, pretty good to work with._

She rummaged through her music until she found her copy of 'The Rose'. Hoping that she wouldn't have them all in tears halfway through the song, she started to play, and hoped that they wouldn't notice that she had to…

"Ivy, aren't you meant to sing with that piece?" Shoot you, Nubi!

"Why yes, thank you for reminding me." Ivy said in a dangerously sweet voice, throwing a glance at Nubi that clearly said, _I'll deal with you later._

Repeating the first few bars as slowly as she could, she screwed her eyes up in prayer to any force that was listening, and opened her mouth to sing.

"_Some say love, it is a river._

_That drowns, the tender reed._

_Some say love, it is a razor._

_That leaves, your soul to bleed._

_Some say love, it is a hunger,_

_An endless, aching need._

_I say love, it is a flower,_

_And you its only seed."_

By the end of the first verse, even Artemis was shifting around uncomfortably. This song was beautiful, sang by a beautiful voice of a beautiful girl (wait, did he just think that?) but it just made him want to cry so much.

He managed to keep his dignity until the end of the second verse, when Ivy claimed that she couldn't play the next part. _Unlikely, but I'm not about to complain,_ Artemis secretly told himself, swearing never to tell a soul about that single moment of weakness.

It was the same with every instrument she played, but luckily (for the Fowl family, at any rate) she announced that she was tired and needed rest.

"I'll escort her, mother." Artemis put on his usual mask as he nodded at the door, indicating that Ivy was safe with him.

Halfway down the corridor, Artemis halted suddenly. Thanks to her reflexes, Ivy stopped almost at the same time as Artemis. Before she could start explaining, he burst out into a fit of, dare I say it, something very close to rage.

"Why didn't you tell me before?" It spoken with virtually no accent, and almost no emotion.

The lack of emotion was what scared most people, but it was the loss of his Irish accent that Ivy found disturbing. She knew he had a tendency to ignore emotions… but his accent was something that he rarely abandoned.

"If you're angry at me because I have surpassed you in something, then you should know by now that I take little pleasure in such things." Ivy retorted angrily, indignant beyond imagination.

"I'm not angry at you because you are better than me at something; I accepted long ago that my musical skills were about as good as my survival skills in the Arctic." He shivered involuntarily at this. He still couldn't force himself to forget that night in the Arctic. "What I am angry about is that you kept this from me. I would have thought that you could consider me a friend and told me sooner rather than letting me find out this way."

Ivy was shocked. Even her best friend, Jane, knew better than to expect her real emotions, "What do you mean? The door to my emotions is usually locked… everyone who has had contact with me usually realises that."

"Really? I've thought that you've been quite open to me so far. More open than most of my other friends." The forlorn look in his eyes were too much for anyone to bear. Ivy had to say something.

Luckily, it was something that proved useful in the end.

"If I were completely open to you, Artemis, then there wouldn't be enough of me left to argue with you, would there?" She smiled, and, surprised by her own daring, even planted a swift kiss on his cheek.

A soft, pink tinge came up onto the boy's cheek. She smiled, saluted him the traditional sailor's way, and skipped off into her room, leaving a teenage boy wondering even more deeply about teenage girls and their strangely varying, yet somehow corresponding (please note that he knows no other teenage girls other than Juliet) behavioural patterns.

_Perhaps I should make them my next psychological analysis._ He thought, as he dawdled back to his own room.

* * *

On the other side of the globe, under the dim lights and with one hypnotised guard in the corner of a prison cell, a man and a woman were deep in conversation.

"Melissa, you will get back…"

"Yes, but what about my daughter? She may prefer this world."

"That will be for her to decide. She can go to her home reality, where she will be welcomed with open hands, or stay here where she'll never belong. Frankly, I don't think she'll complain too much." A pause. "Call for the Mach 15, and make sure you pick that Arty boy up for me, would you? I look forward to his face. It took a whole lot of my time and what remained of my funds to organise it enough for them two to be placed together."

A faint nod seemed to come from the woman. A cracking of knuckles proceeded. "Arty boy, Jon Spiro is back in town."

A/N: I will try to get the next chapter up as soon as I can, people! I don't know if this can be said as a cliff hanger, but if it is, then you'll still have to wait a while till anything like this comes up again (smiles evilly)

Read and Reveiw please!


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer - I do not own Artemis Fowl... I only wish I did.

**Chapter 9 – In which Ivy finally makes her move…**

_He'll understand when he knows the truth about me, _Ivy reasoned. After all, he'd understand about the _mesmer_ of all people.

It was nearing the end of the first week of the exchange now, and she and Artemis had barely exchanged a word between them since Fowl was still in a sulk about Ivy not being open with him. Ivy regretted this, but didn't make her repentance known, but did practise her instruments as frequently as possible.

Artemis, on the other hand, was not pleased. He had, against his own wishes, become rather attached to the girl, and he now missed her when he was in the labs, researching cancer. She was company, but she was also someone in the household who could comprehend him in the times when he was close to a breakthrough.

Nubi was still sceptical about this, but she followed Miss Kestrel's lead. After all, even if she was meant to obey Ivy because there was pay involved, Nubi had learnt that most of Ivy's plans worked out correctly in the end… even if they did include thwarting the Ancient Powers of the Elements, which was _definitely _going against certain laws.

Domovoi Butler was the link. Even though he was Artemis's senior by more than twenty years or so, Butler knew him better than a lot of people, and that meant that he was probably the person Artemis trusted the most. Apart from himself, of course.

But right now, Ivy knew that revealing herself to Fowl straight away wasn't the best move ever. For one thing, lightning would consume her, and for another, it would probably destroy Fowl Manor as well as anyone unfortunate enough to be occupying the space.

Nubi and her charge were in the music room, undisturbed, as usual. Since the recent events of the last chapter, the Fowls decided to leave the girl alone to practise. But this room wasn't exactly used only for singing and playing music.

Ivy's emerald eyes suddenly snapped open from her trance, "Nubi." She uttered, a slow smile playing at her lips, "I think I may have found out how to tell Artemis about my little gift."

Nubi rolled her eyes. Of course the plan worked, all of Ivy's plans worked… but at the moment, this plan was more like public humiliation than an exposure of her charge's supernatural powers. She carried on with the talk to Butler.

"And seeing as I have limited knowledge of gunmanship, I was hoping that you could have a few minutes alone with Miss Ivy, just to explain all of these things."

Butler frowned, "Why doesn't she know about these things herself? Surely, if her father is with MI5, she'll know about some of these things."

Silently, Nubi sent out a prayer of thanks, to whatever force was listening, for her charge's brilliant psychological analysis, and gave the prepared answer,

"Yes, but her father never let her get involved with any of the MI5 business, said that it may persuade her to do something even more drastic than going onto the Swiss bank accounts for the sake of it."

Butler nodded reluctantly. It was a pity that Mister Fowl didn't do something similar to Artemis when he was a boy. "Alright, I'll try to help you, and anyway," Butler suddenly remembered the information he needed to tell Master Artemis, "I needed to talk to your charge about something as well."

Butler hadn't really mentioned anything to Artemis yet because of the fretting that had been his world for the previous few days. The roof had sprung a leak, the weather was even wetter than usual, and lightning was crackling about the place like mad.

And what was more, Miss Kestrel always had that guilty look in her eyes when he announced something like 'the roof has started leaking again' or 'the bathroom floor has just been flooded', and for the first incident, she even volunteered to help fix everything! Of course, that before Artemis smirked and started to inform his exchange partner of something called the 'repair men'.

But that look had always remained. It was strange, really, Butler pondered as he went up the stairs to girl's room, these things shouldn't actually happen. Not with metre thick stonewalls and newly built ceilings… _maybe I should sue the company?_ Butler almost laughed. The company had been working for the Fowl family for years now… why would it suddenly change from totally efficient to non-existent?

He knocked on the door. Usually, with Master Artemis, he didn't need to knock, but who knew what this girl liked?

"You can come in… Artemis says that you don't usually know about the rules of knocking before entering." Her tone sounded serious, but when Butler saw her raised eyebrows, he realised that she was, in fact, joking. He relaxed slightly. At least this particular child prodigy had a sense of humour most people would understand.

"Seeing as my mind games tend to leave people gibbering and I would not like to do that to you in your old age, I'll be frank with you." She took a deep breath. It was a risk, but it would show direct defiance to her mother's powers. Then she would be free of it forever. (A/N: this will be revealed in a later chapter… I hope)

"I know the People because I was brought to this world, unborn, by one of Foaly's more… unlawful inventions. The reason that you have been having these leaks are not because of a faulty roof, but of my emotions. I have the powers of the original four elements, as well as lightning. I cannot tell this directly to Artemis, because my Lightning Vow will destroy me."

Now, as we all know, Butler isn't the brightest candle on the birthday cake, but he's not dim either, is he? But when all this information suddenly jumped forward to present itself, he was really at a loss for words.

"What? Please repeat that, and a little slower, for old age's sake." If his eyes opened any wider, his eyeballs would probably fall out.

Ivy sighed, bracing herself for something that was going to come very soon, "The reason I know the fairies is because Foaly's inter-reality machine brought me here, and they just couldn't wipe me because they saw uses for me, seeing as I could stop any major earthquakes if I willed it. So they allowed my family to keep their memories in return for shelter from major earthquakes."

Now Butler understood. Well, slightly. He had always wondered why the fairies seemed to be protected by all of the natural disasters that affected the humans. But why couldn't this girl relate that directly to Master Artemis?

When he told Ivy, she half scoffed at the idea, "Didn't you hear me when I said, 'Lightning Vow'? It's a simple enough procedure, and one that my mother makes me use when she needs me to co-operate. If I break the vow, then I'm toast. Literally."

Butler nodded. So why were there no dancing sparks on her yet?

"The reason for my not being ash right now is only because I worded my vow _very_ carefully. I said I would do all _within_ my power to stop _Artemis_ from finding out about my family and my… ah… more supernatural side. But I never mentioned you into this whole thing, and it's not as if I can stop you from telling Artemis. It's something called 'human will'. I've not got the power or the heart to bend it, and lightning knows that."

Butler wasn't too confused. Well, that is, of course, the side effect of having a genius as a charge… you're not that surprised by anything. It was the understanding part of the deal that usually confused people.

"So you're telling me that I have to pass this onto Master Artemis now because you want him to know, and you can't tell him yourself because if you did, you'd end up as a pile of ash."

"Essentially?" Ivy replied, logging onto her network and pointing out the correct files to Butler, "Yes. But if I break this vow, then I am free from any vow. Forever."

"But what about the other four 'elements'? Don't they have vows too?"

"Yes, but I've broken them. Quite systematically, I would like to compliment myself. But I can't be touched by these vows ever again if I just succeed in breaking this one." Here, her voice turned icy cold, cold enough to send shivers running down Butler's spine. And that particular shiver was usually reserved for Master Artemis.

* * *

An hour later, Butler was trying to find Master Artemis. This was something that he _really_ did have to know about Miss Ivy.

The problem was, actually finding Master Fowl. He wasn't in any of the usual places, and that was either in the gym, the study or in his bedroom. At the moment in time, he was in none of them. _How am I meant to give him this information when he's nowhere to be found?_

Artemis was, in fact, standing immobile in the forest, watching as the sun set down, remembering Ivy's words, _if I were completely open with you, Artemis, then there wouldn't be enough of me to argue with…_

What did it mean? Surely the fairies couldn't do that to her even if she did have some kind of contact with them… and though he wouldn't admit it, he was starting to soften around her. It wasn't just that she was smart, she had _his_ sense of humour, and she was one of the only people who knew how to entertain him when one of his latest breakthroughs crashed. He watched silently as the badgers started to come out of their setts, and remembered the night that Ivy had taken him through the forest to this place. He had brought his own GPS this time, and had made sure he was wearing protective clothing.

He didn't have Ivy, and he wasn't about to ask her for that special formula… although it _did_ do the trick with all his nettle stings last time. But pride made him hang back on his word, and this place really was one of the most magical places he had ever been to.

Well, of course, it was in Ireland… where else could you find such a beautiful landscape?

He spent almost an hour just sitting there, not doing anything, just hearing his thoughts bounce around in his cranium. Of course, he hadn't really spared a thought to what the Fowl household was going through.

* * *

"Oh! My poor little Arty… he won't be able to find his way back…"

"Ma'am, please, stay calm, we'll start searching for him straight away!"

"He may be in the woods… I'm not a hundred per cent certain… only eighty-seven per cent…"

"He'll have his tracker on him… I'll get onto the computers…"

Then again, he had spent a large chunk of his life beforehand being able to do anything he wanted to do… he wasn't used to two fretful parents and two worried bodyguards and one calculative and anxious friend all at the Manor, trying to find him on the computer.

Butler was one of the first to suggest actually calling the boy, before they all realised he had left the phone on Silent and the vibration was never on. Ivy, naturally, was the one who realised how they could find him. She dragged Domovoi free of the din, and hissed,

"Look, I've been on good terms with the Earth Guardian hereabouts. This will prove to you that I have these powers, if you still doubt me."

Butler hesitated, but eventually nodded. Anything was better than Mrs Fowl having a heart attack at any time now. Telling the household that he and Miss Ivy were going to go into the woods and see if he was anywhere there, they managed to be excused from the house.

Ivy rubbed her hands. Earth Guardians had always been her favourite guardians, apart from Water. The guardian in this particular part boasted healthiness, but it was a good deal older than most of the guardians she liked to speak with back home. And as she had learnt over the years, the older earth was, the harder it was the make it co-operate with you.

"_Earth Guardian, I summon thee,_

_As a cousin, come to me!"_

It was a simple enough rhyme, and it always did the trick. After five seconds, a slightly greenish hue appeared, and a form bounced up from the ground, and made a slight bow to her,

"Hello, my young cousin. How may I help you?"

Ivy spared a look for Butler, whose eyes were widening so much that she feared that they would somehow pop out of their sockets. He was doing a very accurate goldfish impression, and his nostrils were flared to their widest points.

"Er… I have a friend who may have come into this area, and I was wondering if you could just lead us to him…"

The guardian nodded sagely, and snapped his fingers. At once, several blades of grass and flowers jumped to attention, and swivelled round till they were of something that resembled a human form. Ivy nodded, understanding the message. Of course the guardian would be too busy to interfere with the affairs of mortals… he had much better things to do.

"Domovoi, these helpers will not harm you unless you actually light a fire… they really don't mind if you just walk on them, but they don't like being used as firewood." A few angry whistles came in their direction, "They say that there is wood enough without burning them."

To her amusement, Butler simply closed his mouth, straightened up, took a deep breath and said, "I'll try to keep that in mind."

_If Master Artemis really does develop an attachment to this girl,_ Butler mused, trying to keep up without knocking himself out on the branches, _he is going to have to watch what he says, it seems that this girl could kill him with a snap of her fingers if she really wanted to…_

A/N: Okay, I hope that this chapter isn't too bad... Read and Review!


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I am not Eoin Colfer, I do not own Artemis Fowl, and the only characters in this story that are my own… do I really need to type them out?

**Chapter 10 – In which their most interesting conversation of the week is interrupted by a Mach 15**

Artemis wasn't exactly accustomed to sitting somewhere that allowed him to be exposed to insect bites, wetness and cold. So I suppose that you could say that sitting in the middle of the woods for ten minutes, staring at the badgers as they came out and attended to daily (or nightly, Artemis mused) events, was almost more educational than a week at school.

However, a few events that happened afterwards also have to be taken into account. These made the ten minutes all the more interesting.

The first of these was that five or so mushrooms started to act surprisingly human. Artemis had, it must be admitted, seen much more frightening things (like a reptilian creature holding a gun to his forehead) but not quite as supernatural as this. After he had somehow contained himself and gathered the courage to do so, he lifted himself steadily off the ground, and backed slowly away from the dancing fungi.

_Now this, _he thought as he tried to head back to Fowl Manor, _is something worth looking into._

Unfortunately for him, Ivy had somehow intercepted his way back and was standing right in front of him, with the massive manservant at his side. The small fact that she had managed to find him so quickly (A/N: he had been wearing the deflectors he had patented… it basically deflects any electronic signals) was soon drowned by the fact that thousands of little grass blades were trying to get up his trousers.

"Master Artemis, your parents are about to send for the army to find you, what were you doing here?" Reprimanded Butler, trying not to laugh whilst Artemis tried to halt the blades of grass climbing up his trouser leg.

"I'm… communicating with nature." It was the lamest ever excuse he had used within his fourteen years on Earth (and under it).

"Yes, but don't you think that you're communicating with nature a little too intimately right now?" Smirked Ivy, obviously enjoying herself.

"What do you want, Kestrel?" Demanded Artemis, not being so far from normal teenage thinking that he didn't retort when insulted.

Somehow, two teenagers glaring daggers at one another didn't _quite_ fill up Butler's time wholesomely. _I wonder if this is going to affect my judgement when Juliet tries to set me up with someone, _Butler mused, stepping in before any blood was spilt (and, taking into account Ivy's talents, it was probably going to be Master Artemis's blood).

"Master Artemis, Ivy has a little confession to make through me." Butler had to bite his tongue to refrain from groaning when Artemis gave his best vampire smile treatment, and mocked,

"Oh, and I thought that her confession of her being an idiot had already been admitted."

It was perhaps a very good thing that Ivy had had practise over the years to keep a reign over her emotions; otherwise she may have just obliterated Artemis there and then. Of course, it may have just been good manners that made her force a smile and ask Butler,

"If you please, Domovoi, I need to sort out this little misunderstanding. Care to tell him about my family's supernatural side?"

It didn't escape anyone's attention that a spark of lightning struck at her feet at that second. It left the earth black, and left a very shaken Ivy staring at the sky. She couldn't believe how difficult this was going to be, nor how frightening.

"Butler, something tells me that you're going to say everything before I venture to say anything. Unless you want another thunder bolt right about now."

Butler nodded. The last thing on all their minds was to have another bolt of electricity obliterate someone right in front of their eyes… Artemis had already seen fairy deaths (or at least, ugly fairy accidents)… he wanted to confine these to the fairy species.

"Artemis, something tells me you want to sit down." Butler was being very calm, which nowadays generally meant that Artemis was about to get surprised… and Artemis Fowl the Second did _not_ like getting surprises.

"What is it Butler? What do you need to tell me?" Despite the fact that Artemis was quite angry with Ivy (partly for managing to find him and partly for making him talk to her), he was still aware of the fact that Dom was ominously quiet.

"Our little friend here," Butler nodded towards Ivy, who didn't even dare to move a muscle at the moment, "has some supernatural things that she hasn't revealed to us yet. Mostly things related to something that has just been demonstrated."

"Speak in plain words, Butler, I'm not in the best of moods today… I need plain English." Snapped Artemis, his head spinning slightly from trying to figure out what Dom was trying to say.

"She can control the elements, Artemis. Earth, Lightning, Air, Water, Fire… but they can, apparently, be used against her as well." Ivy tensed, hoping that what she had heard from Holly was true, and the two humans were quite flexible on the 'humans are the most intelligent life forms' rule that pretty much predated even Jesus' birth.

"What does he mean, Ivy? And I take it that if it _is_ true, then I have you to thank for the pieces of grass who find being up my trousers so interesting?"

Ivy bit her lip. Now came the difficult part. Backing away several paces, she raised her hands in the ancient salute taught to her by Beryl deep underground. She was really hoping that this would work; otherwise she had just bargained all of their lives and lost the bargain.

Being in control of the elements also made them a master of you. Fortunately, the five ancient elements, before the periodic table came into existence, were probably the only things that were used for scientific experimentation. And even now, they were demanded everywhere… so their attention couldn't have been fixed onto one girl _all_ the time… or at least, that was the hypothesis.

"_Lightning spirit, I summon thee,_

_As I will it, come to me!"_

The bolt of lightning, clearer, brighter and much more _real_ for some reason, flashed into existence. When the smelting of the grass had been complete, a form, seemingly sexless and without clear features appeared on the grass. Wordlessly, Ivy dropped to the ground, placed her hands onto it, and muttered what sounded like an apology. The grass suddenly took in the ashes, and immediately grew out new ones.

"**Earth creatures… always so sullen. They take months to grow out new creatures after their old leave. Such a waste of time."** The voice that came from the being seemed louder, more penetrating than any human voice could manage. The two humans present almost shrank away.

The eyes that were the only coloured feature on the individual's face spared them a glance, and averted its gaze once again to Ivy, who returned it with the same intensity. **"Have you finally come round to breaking my hold on you? I was wondering what was taking you so long."** There was almost a race of amusement hidden beneath that stare. **"I suppose that you need to be released now. Do I need to summon thee, mine brethren?"**

Immediately, four other spirits appeared out of nowhere. A tanned creature with vivid green eyes, hair and clothes emerged from the earth, a slight shimmer in the air revealed one of the most beautiful being that anyone had ever seen, and with one fluid motion, a blue form twisted out of the earth, and landed in front of Ivy. They all regarded the two humans, whose eyes were literally bulging now, and sighed collectively. These people all seemed to be sexless, but at the same time coldly beautiful.

"**What hast thou done now, my daughter? Is not breaking our vows enough to satisfy thee?" **Sighed the blue form, shaking her head as if amused. Ivy felt a heat run up her face as she blushed. Changing the subject, she asked, in the same flowery (and useless speech… why did they insist on using it?),

"Mine uncle, Fire, has not attended. Prithee, where is thy brother?" She knew very well where he was… she just needed one small slip of attention, just to gather her bearings. Meeting with her uncles and aunts really did make her nervous… and only one thing in the mortal world made her nervous. She wasn't used to the emotion.

"**He is still sulking on the subject of your outsmarting him, my niece. He shall not attend this time. He has sent me to represent him."** This came from the shimmer in the air. Ivy grinned. Aunt Air was so scatter-brained that she could hardly remember that she had also lost hold on Ivy. Aunt air was never one to bear grudges.

"**What dost thou propose to do on thine present situation, my daughter? Wilt thou erase the memories of thy companions… or wilt thou die with them?" **Lightning and Water had always been severe… but they were the only ones who called Ivy 'my daughter'. Ivy sighed, finally gathering the loophole in her head, ready to shoot at them.

"Unfortunately, mine parents, you cannot legally claim my life upon this small and trivial event. Mine mother hath made me promise to do all within mine power to stop Artemis Fowl," She indicated the pale youth to them, who had regained parts of his composure somewhat and was steadying himself upon a tree, "from finding mine true identity. Thou didst not bind me to not tell any of his human associates."

"**She speaks the truth, Cousin Lightning. We cannot hold this against her. But we are still entitled to take the lives of the humans."** For he first time, a frown came upon the perfect blue features of Water. **"I never thought that she was as cold as this when she was chosen."**

This surprised Ivy, but not enough. Somehow, her mind was always slightly fuzzy when it came to speaking with the elements. "Mother mine, you are not even entitled to take their lives. I cannot control them… they are part of human nature. Even I have human nature within me. We cannot refuse its calling of curiosity. Butler there had even began to suspect I had some supernatural powers even before I had told him. And he is obviously not the one thou hast forbidden me to reveal my secret to."

Something passed between them all. It seemed that a decision had been reached. It almost seemed as if the very universe was waiting upon that single decision now.

"**Daughter mine, there is sense within this."** Ivy sighed slightly, but she could clearly hear a 'but'. **"However… we have had this several times. We cannot let it escape unnoticed. A craft will come shortly. You must stop the crossing of realities again. There was a reason to your coming here with thine mother." **Lightning turned towards the sky again, but stopped and turned to face his tiny charge once again. **"Incidentally, daughter mine… thy choice does not have right or wrong within it. It only hath thine decision to change the fate of the worlds."**

The four immortal beings seemed to sink back into the surrounding area, leaving a relieved teenage girl and two stunned humans staring at where the conversation had just been held. Artemis, obviously, was the first to speak.

"Can't you look nervous, even before those noticeably dominant figures?" Well, not on the subject, but it _was_ something.

"Ah. Well, why don't we discuss that back at the house? I'm sure that your parents are quite worried by now." Evasive, but it did work. Five minutes later, they were surrounded by the two fretting parents, ordering the pair of them to take a shower and to make sure there weren't any possible infections on their cuts.

After they had both been checked head to foot on where there were any possibilities of cuts and bruises by their bodyguards, the two teenagers met in the music room to confer what happened that day.

You had to congratulate Artemis and Butler. Granted, they had seen fairies with handguns, bombs that targeted living cells, trolls, dwarves, goblins, shuttles… but nothing could have measured up to what had happened then. Artemis was the more collected of the two, and he was still shaking slightly.

"Kestrel, I think it's time that you finally told us exactly what you are." He deliberately used 'what'. It seemed to make no impression upon the girl whatsoever.

"As you've just seen, I'm obviously not a normal human. But I'm not fairy either. I'm sure that you've downloaded most of Foaly's files onto your laptop, Artemis. Show them to me, and I'll point out the section that you need."

Hesitating, Butler reached for the laptop and handed it to the diminutive girl. Filing through the files with practised ease, she came across the fairy words, '_Inter-reality Files – Class Alpha-Alpha-Beta'_ Ivy had to admit, she was a little disappointed that the file hadn't been 'Alpha-Alpha-Alpha', indicating that the security would be even tighter, and she managed to get the entire file translated in under a minute.

"I take it that you've already translated most of these files then? Or only the ones that you took an interest in?" Asked Ivy casually, highlighting the relevant passage and turning it to Artemis.

"The latter of the two, Kestrel. And how on earth did you manage to get into my files? I thought that the fairy files were in the same folder as…" He paled, if that were at all possible. He looked from the screen to Ivy, his eyes uncomprehending, but Ivy had no doubts as to what state his mind was in.

"You… you're… your mother… your life… your _powers_…" Finally, he had come to the stage where Ivy could soothe him. She was wondering when he would finally hit on the fact that she wasn't from the same world as he was.

"Yes, my mother and I came over to this world through Foaly's tried and failed inter-reality transporter. He had this obscure dream of creating an industry where you can just get to another world for a holiday… unfortunately, the machine needs energy. Much more energy than what the People can produce."

She paused, letting it sink in. Finally, he took a deep breath, and calmly said, "You'd better explain all of this to me. I don't generally enjoy being ignorant, and this time is not exempt from any other."

So she did.

* * *

A day later, the two teenagers were talking again, and they had a much wider range of things to talk about. Mostly Ivy, and sometimes computers, and even psychology when Artemis was in a strange mood. Grudgingly, Ivy had to admit that she was having the most interesting conversation in two days with Artemis now.

"The one you called Lightning mentioned something about a craft. What was he talking about?" Asked Artemis when Ivy had finally given up trying to teach him how to play the flute. He simply didn't have the lung capacity for it.

"Oh, he's got a very strange sense of time. They all do. And a craft can mean anything. Most likely he misread readings from deep space and he's calculated that some satellite it coming down to earth again." Ivy dismissed the theory, and tried to force a clarinet into Artemis's hands when she heard a deep rumbling noise outside.

And that deep rumbling noise seemed horribly familiar.

"Oh no. She actually managed to complete that threat." Sighed Ivy, running out of the room with Artemis hot on her heels.

"Who are you talking about?" Artemis inquired, trying to keep up with the surprisingly fast girl.

"My mother. She threatened to take me to see my uncle Spiro. He's so stupid, always playing around with his stupid ID bracelet… why have you stopped?" Artemis had, indeed, stopped dead in his tracks at the mention of 'Spiro'. "Oh. That."

And they both knew what she was talking about.

Outside, Mrs Fowl and Mrs Kestrel were having a very friendly conversation, Melissa switching on her full charm. Her gaze went over to Ivy, and she frowned at her when Ivy's self-control threatened to release itself. She nodded to Angeline, and came over to the two children.

"Good news, kids. We're all going to Chicago! You know that your uncle Spiro's _dying_ to see you, Ivy, and I thought that your new friend there could come with us! We'll have them back by tomorrow!" It was all a cover, and Ivy knew it. Her mother had obviously been visited by Lightning, and she wasn't that happy about what news it brought to her, either.

Artemis Fowl the Second looked at the jet, and then looked at Ivy, raising one graceful eyebrow. "Tomorrow? I would have thought that we'd at least miss half of Monday when we _do_ manage to get back." He was sceptical, but that was about to change.

"Didn't I mention that my father was in MI5? This jet goes Mach 15. We'll be back before lunchtime tomorrow as long as mother doesn't decide to do some early Christmas shopping in Chicago." Ivy's tone was almost mournful as they climbed into the jet and away to face her uncle, and Artemis's human arch-enemy, Jon Spiro.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer – I do not own Artemis Fowl… unfortunately.

**Chapter 11 – In which the LEP is in chaos and Trouble Kelp comes knocking**

Down in Police Plaza, things were more than a little bit chaotic. And Captain Grub Kelp really wasn't helping things.

Nobody really knew why (or how) Sool had persuaded the Council to pass the younger Grub brother in his Captain exam. After all, his performance was way below the mark to become a Captain, and his ability to act under pressure was even worse than his field simulation.

As Wing Commander Vinyaya had commented, it was a miracle that Grub was still on the force after his performance. Even Holly Short, who had been the wild card in this exam, had beaten him by shooting the simulator. Grub Kelp simply got killed by panicking and running around the room screaming for Mummy.

So now you see why the entire of Police Plaza was now in pure alarm. Especially since Major Kelp was visiting the ex-Captain, Miss Short at the Short and Diggum's Detective Agency.

"Holy Frond, why did Sool have to choose the worst elf for the job of Retrieval Captain?" Foaly muttered angrily, as he bit a carrot. Feeling like a small conversation with an friend, he patched up Holly on the screen.

Holly and Trouble were sitting so close together that it just didn't look like the kind of distance that friends would sit together at.

"Well, sorry for interrupting you two lovebirds." Grinned Foaly. "I didn't mean to intrude. Carry on."

"Foaly! You are so dead as soon as you set foot out of that lab of yours…" Started Holly, crossing over to the control panel with such speed that Trouble seemed to topple over with force of it.

"Er… Holly… maybe we should ask Foaly why he called us." Ventured Kelp, knowing that Short had an uncanny knack for punching people in the nasal area after being annoyed.

"Yes, Foaly. Why _don't_ you tell us why you called me just now?" Foaly could see the 'black widow' look in Short's eyes right now, and he gulped. For once, he was really hoping that something would come up during Grub's shift, just so that he could escape from that glare.

And, lo and behold, something came in from Ivy's computer.

Of course, whenever Kestrel contacted them, it never meant anything good. Especially since this was the first time that she _had_ called them.

"Er… I have something, but you're not going to like it." These were sensitive areas, seeing as Holly had acted as Kestrel's carer, in the loosest sense of the word.

"I work in the LEP, Foaly. I work with things that I don't like every hour." Trouble Kelp had always been annoyingly gung-ho about the entire LEP business. Holly and Foaly both rolled their eyes.

"Just give us the situation, would you, Foaly?" Demanded Holly. The centaur winced. Now he understood where Ivy had gotten her directness from. They really should have given her to someone with a sweeter temperament.

"Okay, Holly. I've got a signal from Kestrel's computer. The message is pretty scrambled, and it starts like this, 'Foaly, I'm really sorry that this message is hurried, but it's hard to write when you're in a Mach 15 helicopter and the pilot's a bit too eager to impress…'"

Both Kelp and Short looked at each other with worried expressions. "What code has she put into it?" Holly asked, refraining herself from slamming the keyboard.

"Er… yeah. It's on Epsilon-Beta-Beta alarm. Mean anything?" Inquired Foaly, who had never liked speaking in tongues, and so could never decipher what any of Kestrel's notes meant.

"It'll mean something as soon as you've read the entire thing to us, Foaly." Frowned Kelp, massaging the tips of his ears.

"Right. Ah… 'Anyway, tell Holly that you need to arrange for transport to Chicago…'" Here, even the centaur's features creased in confusion, "'as Artemis and I are going to visit my stupid distant relation Spiro…'"

And that sorted matters immediately. The LEP Major, ex-Captain and ex-convict were off to Chicago.

When the two elves and dwarf arrived in Police Plaza, the place may as well have been a Mud School, with the paper aeroplanes and coffee mugs flying around all over the place. Holly's eyebrows shot right up.

"Things have changed dramatically, then? I remember when Commander Root was alive," Tears came up involuntarily in her eyes at the mention of the name, "that he wouldn't even allow us to talk to the next cubicle." She covered the tears with a half-hearted smile.

Major Trouble Kelp sighed, "Yes, but that was before my little brother was promoted to Captain."

"Your… your brother?" Holly knew the proper manners required, and she only hissed 'D'Arvit!' when Kelp's back was turned.

"EVERYONE CALM DOWN!" Trouble Kelp took command. "Alright, people. I know that the recent arrest of Sool has us all 'shocked and worried' but that doesn't mean that we have an excuse to start 'mourning' in this fashion. Now come on, Miss Short, Mr Diggums and I have an urgent appointment on the surface with some Mud Men."

Everyone nodded, and saluted. Kelp saluted back, and beckoned menacingly to his brother.

"Grub… get over here, and I don't want to hear a single word about Mummy, okay?" He hissed threateningly. His brother's eyes were with half-defiance and half-terror. "What were the paper aeroplanes about?"

"Erm… I thought it might have lightened the mood a little…"

"And the coffee mugs?"

"Er… that was an accident."

"So I understand that you started both these fights? The one with the paper planes and coffee mugs?" The elder Kelp's eyes were flashing dangerously now.

"Erm…"

Kelp sighed. He would have dearly loved to drop-kick his brother out of the LEP, but there were family issues to consider. For once thing, if he _did_ fire his brother, he would have to face his mother. He shuddered, now there was a fate worse than death.

"Okay, Captain Kelp. You'll spend six months on grunt work and I expect you to help clear up this mess with the cleaners, seeing as you're the one who effectively caused it. You got me?"

"But Mummy said…"

"Mention 'Mummy' once more and it'll be ironing my shirts as well!" Grub immediately scampered off to fetch a magnetic dustpan and brush.

Major Kelp caught a passing gremlin, and indicated his little brother to the gremlin, "See that he does all the clearing up manually, would you? The Mud Man way."

Holly Short stared in wonderment. She was suddenly very glad that she didn't have an older brother.

* * *

Artemis was still clinging to his seat, despite the fact that the windows were reinforced glass that could withstand bullets and his seat-belts. All he knew was that the pilot was crazy with speed. He turned to Ivy and asked,

"What is it with your pilot and speed?"

Ivy looked up calmly, and put out a hand to stop herself from toppling over as the pilot turned the copter sharply.

"Oh, this is one of his slowest modes. Usually, by now we'd be able to see Pearl Harbour. I think that Mother's requesting him to go this slow."

Artemis shook his head in pure amazement. And he thought _his_ childhood had been above an average adolescent's life. It seemed that his new friend had a much more exciting and supernatural history than even himself.

Five minutes, several bruises and dozens of mental curses later, the three were walking the streets of Chicago.

Melissa checked her watch, then looked around the town. "Why don't you two go off together for a while? I have some errands to make here." She smiled one of her dazzling smiles, and turned heel and stepped into a waiting taxi.

Artemis was captivated. Ivy snorted, and elbowed him in the ribs. "Remembering that she's the one who was prepared to kill me to protect me." She whispered firmly, leading him away.

"But she's so… so… words cannot describe it." Artemis had been hit by Melissa's charm head on, and he was feeling the effects of it right now. Ivy rolled her eyes, turned around and promptly slapped him.

"Ow! What was that for?" Asked a shocked Fowl, rubbing his cheek where his diminutive friend had hit him.

"I think the word you're searching for is, 'perfect'." Ivy stated stonily, before turning heel and marching away, head in the air.

_Her mother's enough, but Ivy's just literally impossible… and she's unfortunately inherited some of her mother's charm. In fact, a lot of it._ Artemis fumed as he raced after Ivy. "Kestrel! Stop right there! Cease your quick pace, before I call on Butler to…"

Ivy whirled round to face Artemis, and tore her gaze away from his cold, blue eyes before they drowned her, "Go find my Mother, if you're such a perfectionist. Go to her and grovel, don't come to me and ramble on about her!" She could feel herself colouring. _This is **so** immature. I haven't thrown such a tantrum since I was six! How is Artemis doing this to me?_

Fowl, however, was thinking desperately on how to make it up to his newest and probably best friend so far in his life. His overly large brain was churning away, with two main questions sticking out like sore thumbs,

Why did he even _want_ to be friends with Kestrel after that little outburst and

How Mrs Kestrel had made him feel that way.

Now kidding, Melissa Kestrel was beautiful, and she was graceful, ladylike… and that meant that she could wrap men (even boys who still had a few years to go) around her little finger. It was amazing how much damage she could cause by just smiling at someone.

"Kestrel, look, I'm sorry, but that doesn't mean that you can behave so _childishly_…"

Here, Ivy cracked. It was one thing to drool all over a girl's mother, but to say that she, Ivy Saraswati Kestrel, was _childish_, was just stepping about a metre over the line.

She was about to slap Artemis again when her subconscious whispered to her, _Melissa's got her gift… he can't help it if he's attracted to her…_

Horrified, she had to agree. Her mother could make any man sigh after her, chasing after her and professing their love and passion (even though she was a married woman) after just one look at her smile. It was talent that Ivy hadn't inherited, and she was a little put out by that fact.

"Okay, Fowl, I'm going to forgive you, but if you mention my Mother anytime when I am within a ten mile radius, then you're going to be lucky to be able to take liquids afterwards." She snapped, walking down an alleyway.

Artemis took one disdainful look at the surroundings, took a deep breath, and marched right in after her. Feeling slightly undressed without a Butler at his side, he rebuked himself silently for ever submitting to his parents' wills and taking part in this exchange.

Pex and Chips were still quite well off, considering that they had just been let out of prison and were on probation. They worked part-time in a video store, got paid enough to buy McDonalds every night, and could watch as much Barney as they liked.

The pay wasn't as good, but anything was worth just sitting there and watching movies all day, handing people the amount of change they needed and scanning the lines on the cases.

Near to the end of their probation, a pretty (they hadn't got the brain capacity to describe her as beautiful yet) and rich woman waltzed in and charmed them blind. The next thing they knew, they were delivering boxes from Pizza Hut to where Mr Spiro lived now. They didn't _know_ what was in those boxes, but they certainly weren't metal, seeing as they were let in immediately after the scanning.

Pex turned to Chips the day Artemis and Ivy had arrived in Chicago, and said in a monotonous voice,

"Isn't it weird that that pretty woman is always there right behind the guard when we're delivering this stuff?"

"Yeah, but she pays good money… maybe all delivery people get this much money?" Chips asked, stuffing a handful of Cheese and Onion Chips into his mouth. "D'you think we need a job change?"

Pex frowned, churning his brain thinking. After a few minutes, he finally came to the conclusion, "Nah, we're paid pretty good right now, and nothing's better than what we're doing now."

And, smiling dimly, they both marched onwards, completely oblivious of the fact that the Pizza boxes were about five times the weight of a normal pizza.

Melissa Kestrel came up to the two blockheads, disgusted but amazed that there were such idiotic beings in this reality. She was almost certain that in her reality, anyone this stupid would have been killed on the spot. She beckoned them, and they came lumbering after her, like a pair of lapdogs.

"Boys, I have a special request today. It's very simple, really, a girl is coming to your shop today. Here's a picture." She handed them her daughter's thirteen-year-old birthday picture. She was laughing, carefree of work and magic and the responsibility of maintaining the People's safety underground. She was just _there_.

"I expect you to bring her here. She's Mr Spiro's niece, and she'd love to see her uncle again. It's been so long for her."

The two gorillas spent ages comprehending this task, and finally Pex asked,

"If she kicks and screams, will we have to hurt her?" It seemed such a shame to hurt such a pretty little girl… especially someone so much like this pretty woman.

"Oh no." Mrs Kestrel smiled maliciously, "She won't. Trust me, she'll come as quietly as a lamb, and even if she _does_ kick a bit, you'll still think that she's coming along peacefully."

She paused, and re-addressed the two men. "Oh, and there's a boy with her. He doesn't matter to me… if he tries to stop you from bringing her, you may incapacitate him."

And she left, leaving Pex and Chips trying to understand the meaning of 'incapacitate'.

* * *

A/N: Dun dun duh! Cliffie (I think)! Oh, I feel so evil!

Sorry I haven't updated in a while! The computer's denying me access (grr…) but here's the new chapter! Hope you like it!

Sorry, I haven't had time to actually thank all of my reviewers…

Joe-Snow – thanks for the comment on grammar… it shows that I'm finally getting the hang of it!

Rose J Lupin – cool! I'm trying to hurry but I'm one of the worst people to be told to hurry!

Violetlaurel – thank you!

Spiller Sonigue – thank you! I am trying to keep up!

X3fall baby fall – thanks! For both reviews!

Maeve Autmun Starkey – thank goodness, I was hoping that someone would notice that this is about the most romantic Arty's gonna get

Helltanz98 – okay, my updates are a bit spaced out, but they are coming!

Darkingfire – THERE WILL BE MORE SOOL BUT KICKING LATER ON!

Kathaka – thank you for both reviews!

Ashley – I know, I meant for Ivy to be that way. You'll find out more about why she's perfect later on… but please keep reading!

shadowmaker - Yeah, I know… that's what some of my friends said about it…

go holly go trouble – thank you! I WILL keep on going!

Ponee – thanks for all THREE reviews! Keep reading!

Scrivania – here's the update, and yeah, I think that Arty and Ivy will go so well together!

How would everyone feel about a Holly/Trouble pairing? Please give me your opinions, otherwise I'm going straight ahead and putting Holly back onto the LEP, and I'm going to get the two of them together… so any opposed, give me your reasons and they'd better be good!


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12 – In which Melissa demonstrates her full commitment to her goals

Artemis and Ivy were walking through one of the less known alleyways of Chicago, Artemis looking at every single small rock as if it was personally causing him discomfort.

"You don't have to tag along if you'd prefer to go back to your civilised world, you know." Commented Ivy, seeing Fowl's eyes staring at a scrawny alley cat scampering a few feet to the left of him. "The people I'm going to be meeting aren't going to be very welcoming for you, and not unintentionally either."

Artemis frowned at a dustbin before turning towards his diminutive companion, somewhat insulted,

"Are you implying that I'm a coward?"

You see, a normal, sensible person would have simply said, 'Of course not, I was just looking out for you.' Unfortunately, that's not really what Ivy said…

"Yes. What did you think I was trying to say? You're my knight in shining armour?" Genius, yes. A child prodigy? Definitely. Sensible? You'd find more sensible people in the deserted corridors of Pex and Chip's heads.

The rest of the journey was spent with very little conversation, and most of it hostile insults to the other. If either Nubi or Butler were there, they would have been smacking their own foreheads in frustration.

Soon, the alley had become empty, and all except the skinniest alley cats inhabited the corners. Fowl finally gave into his own curiosity, and asked (a bit more desperately than he had intended),

"Who do you want to meet in this place? Unless you can speak to cats as well as control the four basic elements."

He wasn't actually expecting the fairly abrupt answer of 'Yes' from Ivy.

And he was even more surprised when a knife was at his throat and he was lifted bodily off the ground by a pair of strong hands with the traditional phrase, 'Your money our your life, punk." In a heavily exaggerated accent.

He was about to shout for Ivy when he saw a negligent hand flick at him, and he wasn't sure what happened to the man behind him, but he knew from the 'oof!' and the heavy crash into brick wall assured him that the man was concussed… at best.

"Wow, who's the leader this time then? What took you people so long to get to us and try to mug us? Who's taken over from Sid?"

Artemis stared, unaware that his mouth was now hanging open. He knew that Ivy wasn't your average teenage girl, but being able to control the winds and waves was one thing. Consorting with common muggers and thieves who stole from simple brawn was just… not _right_.

It was probably the fourth time ever in his life that his extensive vocabulary failed him. Ivy turned to face him, and her features hit him full in the face. It was shocking, to see what effect this dank alleyway had done to Kestrel… her expression, the way she held herself… everything but her actual looks had changed.

She raised an eyebrow. "Fowl, close the mouth. It's not becoming, and humans usually just open their mouths to eat and speak. Have you found an alternative purpose?"

It was quite possible that Artemis would have stood there for several sunlit mornings had he not been knocked down forcibly by a person right behind him.

Ivy rolled her eyes at her friend's falling body with more than a little bit of guilt gnawing inside her. She was, after all, in charge of his safety, and she doubted Mrs Fowl would have been overjoyed to have her son back with his IQ scoring considerably lower.

"_Must_ you be so melodramatic when you knock someone out? It's really much harder to revive them after you knock them out like that, especially when you're not even sure where you hit them." Frowned Ivy, kneeling in front of Artemis, trying to see if he'd been bruised.

"He's your boyfriend? Rich yob, that kid. You're lucky." The sweet, musical voice that lilted out of the shadows revealed itself to be from the person who knocked out Artemis. A tall, slim and obviously female gangster.

"No! Why does everyone immediately jump to that conclusion?" Exasperated, Ivy beckoned into the shadows. "Okay, musclemen, get him to the den."

Two bulky men who could have rivalled Butler's height picked Fowl up and carried him away deeper into the alleyway. The girl followed their progress with narrowed eyes,

"Are you sure that he can be trusted? You English kids are more than a little notorious for gossiping, y'know."

Ivy rolled her eyes. "Oh, you wouldn't _believe_ some of the secrets that we keep from the world."

"Go on then, tell me."

"It wouldn't be a secret then, would it?"

* * *

Artemis wasn't in the best of moods when Ivy next saw him. Then again, she mused, no male would be happy if they'd been hit around four times in their lives and three of those hits were from girls.

"And you felt that concealing the existence of an underground system in America was necessary? These people don't even have insurance!" Artemis's scowl and tone were decidedly frosty.

"Hey, we've only known each other for, what? Less than two weeks? How do I know you wouldn't snitch on us?" Ivy's American accent was growing more and more profound – something that seemed to happen quite frequently when she came to America for some reason.

"Would you please cease that ridiculous accent? It makes your obscure speeches sound even more stupid than usual." Artemis threw back as an insult, determined to annoy her to the best of his ability.

Katy stepped in, seeing that sparks fly between them like an electric saw. "Whoa, there, cow-folks. Calm it. Do you English snobs all say hi by insulting each other or something?"

"We don't!" Ivy and Artemis both shouted simultaneously.

Kat smirked maliciously, "And it seems that you're pretty close, for two people who aren't lovebirds."

"We're not lovebirds!" As the words left their mouths, they looked at each other and snapped any eye contact almost immediately, Ivy storming out of the room and Fowl trying to storm out of the room.

And then collapsing against the crudely fixed up bed.

"What is her problem?" Growled Artemis fiercely, feeling uncharacteristically frustrated. How could one little adolescent girl, younger than him, make his emotions turn somersaults every single time he saw her?

Then again, he hadn't even been sure about having any emotions before she had come along.

Ivy was busy kicking up stones and flinging them onto the walls. Piccolo (the person who had taken over since Sid had moved in with his new girlfriend) came up to her and gave her a metal pole.

"You'll knock down the building with the force you're putting behind those throws." He whistled softly, his hoarse voice sounding exactly like a well-carved piccolo. Kestrel looked at him in envy… her voice was good, but she sometimes did wish that her throat could effortlessly produce a sound of pure magic.

Maybe this is a good time to straighten out a few ends. Ivy met the gang on her first visit to Chicago, on her sixth birthday. Meeting with these people under a secluded area and facing knives didn't really have much effect on a six-year-old girl.

Which really worried the gangsters quite a bit. Especially when they found that several of their henchmen had been knocked out… apparently by giant boulders that were far too big for the girl to pick up on her own.

It was Sid who had managed to win her trust (it was amazing how much a pink teddy bear could do to a six-year-old girl) and introduced her to the gang. She was taught how to fight here, and at the end of her two-month stay in Chicago, she had enlisted in the local gym and carried on fighting.

"Wonder how Sid's getting on?" Ivy had a disgusting habit of speaking her thoughts out loud. It really was quite hard for her to keep her own personal secrets.

"Oh, he's over the moon. Who wouldn't be, with a child coming soon and living in a house after ten years spent on the streets?" Mumbled Piccolo, absently checking his nails for any dirt. He looked Ivy in the eyes. He was perhaps one of the only people in the world who could do such a thing.

"Something's bothering you, Kestrel. Tell me." Piccolo wasn't complicated. He was just… scarily direct.

"Not sure. I may just be paranoid, or something, but I know that something's about to happen. And not something good either."

"Ah. I hear the two words 'Melissa Kestrel' lurking in that comment somewhere. Mind telling me where?"

Ivy opened her mouth to retort sharply, but something forced itself up her throat, trapping the words there, _what's mother done to me now?_ She mentally kicked herself for letting her Melissa close enough to do something to her.

Come to the video store, and I won't hurt you… 

Oh my gosh, she's actually imprinting a command into my head…

Come to the Kiddo Video Store… 

Mother… please… stop it… when was the last time she tried to plead for something? Five, six years ago? When her mother put the Air Vow upon her?

She was lost from conscious thought now. She didn't even notice it when she raised the metal stick and hit Piccolo hard across the chest, and she was only dimly aware of her feet moving underneath her.

* * *

Artemis shot up. Something was up with Kestrel.

"Whoa, there, kiddo. You're gonna faint if you stand up that quickly from lying down." Frowned Kat, trying to get the adolescent to sit down for a minute.

"I need to check up on Kestrel." Even Kat, in the short time that she had known him, was surprised at the outburst of emotion.

"Oh, so you're being human, now, are you?"

"Would you care for what you call the 'English greeting' or are you going to take me to see Ivy?" Inquired Fowl coldly, his eyes glinting in the dim lights.

"And that small piece of humanity has just gone out of the window." Kat sighed. "Okay, let's get you two lovebirds reunited.

"We are not lovebirds!"

* * *

Two blocks away, in broad daylight, a girl with piercing green eyes seemed to be having some trouble with a certain lamppost. Controlling, her mother may have been. Careful? There were more careful mad men than Melissa Kestrel.

A/N: I am soooo sorry about the delay! But here's the chapter, and I will try and update soon.

You see this little button? You click on it, and tell me whether or not you thought this was good or bad or just plain strange.


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl, as I am not Eoin Colfer, and as I am not, all you AF fans be grateful… or else I would muck it up hugely

A/N: Okay, really sorry, people. If there are any people reading this… anyway, this is a really angsty chapter, but it _does_ introduce someone who may be welcomed by most of you…

**Chapter 13 – In which Artemis receives a shock**

Somehow, and I think most people will agree with me on this, the words 'Artemis Fowl the Second' and 'panic' don't really appear in the same sentence without sounding wrong. Unfortunately for all of you, that is precisely what I am about to do.

Artemis Fowl the Second, child prodigy, was panicking.

He didn't even have a _right_ to panic! It wasn't as if he had _really_ cared for Kestrel, not on the same scale as the Butlers or his parents, which meant that she should have been, _expendable_ (for want of a better word) to him. He shouldn't even be feeling an ounce of emotion for her disappearance.

"Something seems to be incorrect about this scene." He spoke out loud. That was odd. That was the second time in a year that he had voiced out his opinions without being absolutely sure of its origins.

Kat scowled at the 'Rich yob' whilst helping Piccolo to his feet. "Can't you just say 'Something's not right' like normal people?" It seemed that she was sour about Kestrel knocking out her leader, "And what seems to not be right? Kestrel knocked Piccolo out, and then hightailed it. What can be wrong about that?"

Artemis took several deep breaths. He knew something wasn't right about this. However, he only _knew_ that he knew. He just didn't know what he knew. If that made any sense.

Piccolo hauled himself upright, panting slightly. No wonder, Artemis mused, I've been hit by Kestrel before… and it was painful _without_ a metal pole.

"Ivy can't have done this on purpose. She's just not that…" Piccolo seemed to struggle for words. "… straightforward, I suppose. And she'd be a little more subtle about knocking me out."

And suddenly, everything in Artemis's brain clicked.

"You say that she picked up the metal pole and hit you in the chest? Did you notice anything about her behaviour _before_ that? Was she shaking her head? Fidgeting? Being more paranoid than usual?"

His expansive vocabulary had deserted him for the moment, but Fowl didn't seem to notice. All his rationality had gone out of the window about a minute ago.

"Paranoid? Yeah, she was paranoid, but her being who she is and her mother being who she is? What girl wouldn't be?" Grunted one of the giants in the shadows. All of the muscle men seemed to stay there. Artemis had to fight the urge to roll his eyes. Melodrama… one of the reasons he hated films.

Artemis thought for a while. Then felt in his pocket for his palmtop. It was amazing what a few pieces of fairy technology could do to any kind of human machinery. He had been much more subtle this time round… only a few wires and a few bits and bobs.

He was still recovering from his last meeting with Spiro.

Artemis pushed thoughts of Spiro to the back of his mind, and turned to confront Kat.

"Do you have a phone hereabouts that I could use?"

* * *

Holly, Kelp (Major, not Minor… obviously) and Mulch (who had just picked a few pockets of well known Sool supporters… old habits died hard) were on their way to Police Plaza when Holly's mobile rang. She picked it up, staring at it in wonder.

She shot a look at Mulch, and snapped, "Are you trying to play a prank on me?"

Trouble, however, was staring at Holly, and then at the phone, and back to Holly again. "Since when have you had one of those?"

"Since Mulch complained about not being able to reach me whenever an _urgent_ situation arises. Which is usually because he ate a lump of diamond or something."

She answered, and found (to her eternal surprise) Fowl's face staring at her coldly.

"Holly, how long does it take you to pick up your phone and answer it?"

She would have turned red, had her skin tone allowed her to do so, "I was busy. What do you want Fowl?"

"Did you know that Ivy's missing? Or would you prefer for me to hang up?"

Had the event been less serious, the changing expressions upon Holly Short's face would almost have been comical. It had turned from anger, to disbelief, to confusion, to disbelief and the opening and closing of her mouth was really quite amusing.

"What. Did. You. Just. Say?"

"I said, we're in Chicago, and Ivy's just undergone typical behaviour for someone who is being controlled by a woman who doesn't have any sense of how to concuss a man. Did you receive Kestrel's message?"

"Yes, and we're going over right now, as soon as we've been kitted out and got permission…"

"Which had better not take more than five minutes, maximum. Any more, and my patience shall run out. And Ivy's lifeline may do as well."

It was the last seven words that caught everyone's attention. Mulch was the first to open his mouth,

"What do you mean by…"

He was cut off sharply by Holly's terse hang up as she snapped the conversation shut and headed towards the doors. Trouble and Mulch had to race to even get half a foot behind her.

"Oi, I wasn't done with my question yet!"

Holly didn't even bother turning around to face Mulch, opting instead to yell several words that wouldn't really translate into plain English. At least, not in two lines.

It was sometimes wonderful how many meanings you could fit inside three Gnommish words.

Trouble and Mulch were left lagging behind the determined elf, when Trouble finally plucked up the courage to say,

"I think she means, you'll waste time."

* * *

Ivy was struggling against her bonds. And not having _much_ success didn't really deter her from repeatedly smacking herself. _Maybe someone will see me smacking myself and decide to send me somewhere with bouncy walls…_

Unfortunately, this part of Chicago was… slightly less populated. Somehow, the news of a gangster mob residing in the alley next door and two shaved gorillas who weren't likely to give you the proper change you needed and would probably terrorise you non-stop if you _were_ to correct them kind of dispersed the population living there.

Convenient.

She stumbled her way down the road, gripping onto whatever she could grip onto. _Why aren't there any cars passing by?_

And at last she came to her final destination. She knew her mother, if she didn't cooperate here, Melissa would hurt her till Kingdom come.

Which was why, of course, she started struggling. Pain beyond anything she could have imagined shot through her, and it was simply impossible to disobey her mother's will by now. She was overcome by a powerful motive to snicker. Mother? What kind of mother would treat her daughter like this?

Passing through the door, she was faced with two bulky males who looked as if they had the intellectual capacity of a three year old. Actually, she was half right, if you did combine their intelligence, they'd probably make it through kindergarten.

Of course. Ivy rolled her eyes, thinking back to Holly's graphic tales of her adventure in Chicago (with much giggling… just because Ivy was a genius, didn't mean that she wasn't prone to giggling). But why, oh why did Melissa have to choose Pex and Chips?

The two goons couldn't even do their job right! Ivy was (as you may have gathered by now) a perfectionist. And Melissa, obviously, wasn't. One of the many things that got between mother and daughter, on a daily basis.

_If you'd wanted to make me come here against my will, did you have to hire two such idiots?_ She sent a plea into the dark corridors of her brain, knowing that her mother would not reply. But baiting was _so_ much fun.

One of the goons elbowed the other. She didn't bother looking to see which one.

"That the girl the pretty lady talked about?" He asked thickly. There was a faint smell of barbecue in the air. Ah, so this one was Chips…

"I think so. Think we should go check?" And that was definitely Pex. Unless Chips had suddenly developed the skill of speaking to himself in different voices.

"Er, girl? Are you with the pretty lady?" Chips asked tentatively. If such a word could fit inside his brain, Ivy thought as she gritted her teeth. She was _not_ going to say anything…

"Yes." Came the grated answer. She felt like screaming, tearing, cursing…

"Okay. You need to come with us."

It was probably then that everything that Ivy had ever stood for collapsed. She gave up. She hadn't even thought that phrase existed, but apparently, it did now. She didn't even struggle as Pex and Chips frogmarched her into a car, where they said to the chauffeur,

"Prison."

The car drove silently down the road, and when it disappeared off, there was nothing left. Except for a single beating heart.

A short, dark skinned man with a hat hiding the real shape of his ears and a mask that hid most of the hideous scars that clouded his face watched the car go, and immediately set off to find the gang.

* * *

Artemis was pacing. A small part of him was sneering cynically, _Fowls do not pace. Fowls plot. Fowls scheme._

Another part was shouting unnecessary insults and words that he didn't even know were part of his extensive vocabulary at the cynically sneering part and winning. He continued pacing.

After a while, Kat came in, not bothering to ask permission before entering, and yelled,

"Oi! Rich yob! Someone here that you may be interested in! He says he just say your girlfriend!"

"She is not my girlfriend! And wait for me if you value your consciousness!" Stated Artemis coldly, before abandoning all decorum and running.

Former commander of the LEPrecon, Julius Root, was savagely sucking on one of the most noxious cigars that Artemis had ever smelled. Perhaps it was the shock of Kestrel being abducted, perhaps it was just worry, but whatever it was, it managed to let Root take advantage.

"Hey, Fowl. Heard you and Ivy had a thing going on. I'm going to have to say a few things about that…"

"Commander Root, if you would please put out that foul cigar then I may be willing to…"

And then what he just said, or more importantly, who he just said it _to_, dawned upon him.

And that was time for the second most humiliating sentence he'd uttered in his short adolescent life.

"You're not alive!"

A/N: Don't worry, I'm going to explain everything next chapter… it has a perfectly acceptable explanation (in my twisted mind, at any rate)…

See that little button? Press it and tell me what you think! R&R


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14 – In which Julius explains his disappearance**

A/N: Okay, I am REALLY sorry for taking this long, but considering the fact that my English GCSE ( yes, I am foolishly taking this thing a year early) is in less than 2 months (AH!) I think you're going to be waiting a long time before my next update...

R&R! Please.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Artemis Fowl characters... you all know that, so why do I still have to write it?

_And that was time for the second most humiliating sentence he'd uttered in his short adolescent life._

"_You're not alive!"_

"What do you mean, 'you're not alive'? The fact that my scars are hurting right now prove that I'm still alive. I hurt too much to be dead." Grunted Root, sucking one last deep breath from his noxious cigar, savouring the smoke, and then jabbing it onto the ground.

Kat winced at this movement. "Hey, shorty, stop doing that, would'ya? Remember last time you did that and set fire to my favourite pair of jeans?"

Root scowled, ridiculously making him look like a spoilt child. The expression didn't seem right, somehow… not on a face that was accustomed to having a frown and a constant tomato red complexion.

Mumbling something that sounded distinctly like 'not my fault you don't have magma proof clothing', Root turned to look at Fowl, who was still having an argument in his head about what was appropriate to do at the moment,

_Greet him, shake his hands and ask where he was!_

_Keep on staring…_

_At least request a logical explanation for his survival!_

_No, no, just keep on staring…_

"Oi! Mud boy… or half boy or half man or whatever they call you… are you even listening to a word I just said?"

"An old comrade of an old friend has just miraculously returned from the dead. I've finally reached the stage of puberty where I have two conflicting decisions, and in which it's usually the immature decision that wins. One of the only humans I have ever considered as my friend has just been abducted, and I have no idea where to. Do you think I'm in a _position_ to listen?" Artemis asked, his voice deadly quiet and sending shivers along everyone's spines.

Root, however, having the very limited amount of knowledge that he does about the relationship between Artemis and Ivy, very unabashedly said,

"No, and I don't care either. All I know is that I just saw Ivy walking down the road with the two goons who tried burying Mulch about a year ago… Crisps and Muscles or something like that…"

Artemis's eyebrow went up about half a centimetre. Cool and composed Fowl had come back.

"What's the difference? All of the goons who were under the orders of Spiro's employment for muscle alone didn't have any brain. As I said back then, they're all the same, small necks, no brains."

Root massaged his ears gently as he removed his scarf from his head. "Ahh… you have no idea how great it is to get some air to your ears after having them wrapped up for a few hours." He surveyed the walls. "Where's the old tech gone, Piccolo? Or have you finally conceded to the Council's command and given it up?"

Artemis's brain wasn't exactly working at maximum proficiency at the moment, so he hadn't actually registered the fact that all of these gangsters were actually treating Root, who was much shorter and had pointy ears to boot, was being accepted really very quickly by humans who should have been a little less prepared for this oversized tomato.

When his brain had finally recovered from the shock of seeing Commander Root alive, and in America of all places, being welcomed by human beings who treated him as their own.

Everything clicked into place.

"Is any human who acknowledges me as a friend actually fully human?" Fowl demanded, before he let the darkness enfold him.

* * *

Ivy shot up as if from a dream. She was still in the same car with Pex and Chips, and feeling profoundly carsick. It was a huge embarrassment, really, and not one that she particularly liked.

"Could I sit in the front, please? I am feeling quite nauseous at the moment, and I would hate to…ah… regurgitate my lunch all over you."

Needless to say, of course, that all she got was a blank stare from the two hairless gorillas, and they carried on to the local prison.

Spiro was found guilty of breaking and entering a building, and for attempted murder, of course, but that is never enough to keep a man like Spiro in an uncomfortable prison. As soon as his hearings were over, and the court had managed to stretch the prison sentences to ten years, he had bribed the law to transfer him to Chicago again.

And that was exactly where he was, waiting for his young 'niece' to arrive. Undoubtedly, he still had a few more years left to be alive, but that was all that could be said. He didn't intend to spend it rotting in a prison like this.

Melissa was the one relative desperate enough to accept his offer. For one thing, she was the one who had the most control over her daughter's uncanny powers. For another, she was practically begging for help. And, almost six years from when she had first begged, their plan was going into action.

It was really quite simple – Melissa would keep her daughter's powers in check, and Spiro would pull on of the many strings he possessed. When the girl was in a suitable position, or when she started to suspect what was going on, they would execute the final part of the scheme.

Of course, neither of the two adults could have predicted how Ivy could find so many loopholes in the Elemental Vows. Their original intention had been to keep the girl in control and to gradually acquaint her with her powers. Of course, plans very rarely transfer smoothly from paper into real life, and Ivy was not the docile little girl that they had hoped for.

Much the opposite, as you have seen so far.

When Ivy entered the cells, without much resistance from the guards apart from to check that she didn't have a gun on her. When that much was established, Pex and Chips led the way to Spiro's cell.

Spiro was looking at his best health so far (considering the fact that he only had a few more years left to live), seeing as their plans to finally get Melissa home and to get his record cleared were finally on the move. He was even wearing his old trademark white, albeit slightly soiled, when Ivy entered the room, every inch the insulted noble.

"Hey there, Ivy kid! Sorry to get you over in such a fashion, but I'm sure you weren't too uncomfortable! Take a seat next to your mother there, why don't you?"

"Unless you want me to bring these walls crashing down upon us then I do not think that you want to keep me here for too much longer." Ivy's voice was dangerously low, and surprisingly free of shaking.

"I don't think that's quite possible, kiddo, so you'd better get used to the fact that your powers can't get you everything." Spiro spat, leaning back in his chair. "You know, I think that your mom would like to talk to you concerning your future."

* * *

Artemis had finally recovered slightly from the initial shock of Root still being alive. Of course, not having much practised being sympathetic, he only just realised the impact this was going to have on his fairy friends.

He grabbed the ex-Commander by the arm, almost apologising when Root winced from presumably a scar from the explosion, and demanded,

"Why haven't you contacted Foaly, or Holly about your status yet?"

Artemis became the recipient of a glare from Root, and quickly released his hold.

"Fowl, I am aware that as soon as Koboi knows that I am still alive, she will tear this entire world apart looking for me. Do you think that…"

"My dear Julius Root, do you really think that I would be standing here right now if Opal Koboi were still on the loose? Oh, and Butler and I would like to thank you for erasing our memories. The fact that I had even forgotten about trolls should be enough glory."

Root stared at the young teenager in undisguised surprise mixed with contempt,

"Your genius is going to be my death someday, did you know that, Fowl? You mean that Koboi was contained all this time and I could have gone back to Haven, kept on bullying that pompous centaur…"

Then, amazingly, the ex-Commander's eyes started to cloud over with tears. Even Artemis Fowl the infamously unemotional Artemis Fowl, stepped back in fear.

"Julius Root, are you quite all right?" In an attempt to be sympathetic, Fowl cautiously patted the fairy's shoulders, "Er… there, there, now. It's alright… erm…"

_Stop saying 'er'! It's not even registered in the English Dictionary!_

_I'm new at this, everyone has a right to be hesitant at new things…_

_Well your extensive vocabulary should not be failing you in such a fashion…_

I think that you get the point of this. Let us not intrude for too long on Artemis's mind. Or minds, as the case may be.

Root sniffed, lit another fungus cigar (Artemis backing away rapidly) and sighed in contentment,

"Ah, I needed that. Aren't you going to ask for a reason that I'm still alive?" Asked Root, narrowing his eyes in suspicion.

Artemis hastily proceeded to patch up his mistake, "Ah… that won't be quite necessary, Root, although if you would prefer to tell me…"

Root shook his head, and his shoulders shook with mirth, "The day Artemis Fowl stumbles is the second best day of my life! Now just get Foaly to admit that he is a pompous centaur is going to take some persuading."

Still chuckling over Fowl's expression, Root leaned back leisurely and started his tale.

"Your genius mind should have been able to realise straight away that Opal didn't want me to die so quickly, Mud Boy… Man… thing. To be honest, the only scarring I really got from that D'Arvitting transporter were when the arms tried to pin me and gave a tough fight when I struggled."

"The bomb was a transporter? I do not believe that I found that in any of the lists of inventions patented by Foaly." Frowned Fowl, his eyebrows raising by a few millimetres.

"Of course, did you really think that Koboi wanted to get rid of me that quickly, Fowl? She wanted me to suffer as well, you know. I woke up with that octopus thing on me, plus a bull troll a few metres away, shielding from the blinding Amazon heat."

"What were… actually, never mind. I do not think it would be advisable for my health if I were to try and delve into a criminal mind with absolutely no morals at all." Seeing Root's raised eyebrows, he snapped, "Well, I for one, am not a cold blooded killer!"

"As Holly said before, give it a few more years, you'll get there. Anyway, no, Foaly hasn't patented that thing… yet. It's not as if he keeps everything on computers, Mud… adolescent. Foaly's got his fair share of stuff written down on paper that he recycles as soon as he's made the thing. It was just a matter of stealing the plans and completing them to make it. Anyway, after I'd thrashed hard enough to ensure that the troll would come out into the sun and pretty much be fried, I got free of the binds and came here to recuperate."

"Well, that does explain how you survived… adequately, although I shall be visiting Haven soon to see Miss Koboi about this. It sounds to be most amusing. I wonder how she actually got the blueprints in the first place." Smirked Artemis, leaning back, "Although, I do have two questions."

"Artemis Fowl the Second… asking for answers from me? Now this is too good to be true." Root spat out what remained of the cigar out, "Shoot."

"One, you're not off your chair and reaching out for my neck. Why?"

Root sighed, and his fingers twitched, just to show that he still wished to do so.

"It's not as if I don't want to, Fowl, it's just that this is still technically a human dwelling, seeing as we've got a roof over our heads. I've been invited in, so I can come and go, but I'm still not allowed to take blows on you."

Artemis smirked, "My, my, so you've decided to conduct yourself with maturity? I do believe that you are growing up, Julius Root."

Root went a shade of beetroot red before chewing the stub of a half-smoked cigar.

"Now, onto my second question… when do you intend to inform Holly of this development?"

"Do you have a communicator on you?" Root growled.

"Of course." Artemis gave his laptop to Root. "Although, I do advise you to hurry. I would prefer that Kestrel is still in one piece when we go to rescue her."

"You do know that if she ever finds out you just referred to her as a damsel in distress, she'll skin you alive."

"Just dial, Root, just dial."

* * *

At the cells, the very foundations shook as Melissa informed her daughter of her choices.

"So you're saying, that either I go to a foreign place with you, or I simply stay here with my powers bound and in comatose state?"

A cautious nod. Whatever Melissa was, she wasn't such a cold-blooded person.

"AND YOU EXPECT ME TO REMAIN CALM AT THIS? ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME HAVE A PREMATURE HEART ATTACK?"

And that is where it ends for now. Read and Review, please!


	15. Chapter 15

I am sooo sorry people! I've had my English GCSE this summer (winces at memory) plus my Summer Exams. Anyway, thank you to those who are still reading this and have had the patience to wait! Now, on with the story!

You know, I know and Eoin Colfer definitely knows: I do not own Artemis Fowl.

**Chapter 15 – In which Ivy's aforementioned sword comes in very useful**

Ivy was trying her hardest not to heave up her already threatening breakfast. The car ride was enough, but this? It was just pure evil!

"You exaggerate, my dear child. It is not pure evil, at least we are giving you the chance of survival." Grinned Spiro, when Ivy related this to the two of them, using considerably stronger words than the phrase mentioned above.

The straps were now starting to cut at her sides. Painfully, she tried to flex her fingers, and winced as the knuckles cracked from such a long time without the circulation. Pins and needles shot up and down her arm, making her bite her lip to prevent her from screaming. A phrase from a book she had read years ago came back to her, _for fear, blood and scarlet screams…_

She didn't know about the screaming and the blood, but, despite her calm state (take in the surroundings, sceptics, wouldn't you be just a little unnerved?) the overriding emotion within her was fear. It was hard enough to try not to cry at that moment in time.

"There is enough nuclear source in this world, Spiro, to power any contraption that you have a fancy to power. Why not use that energy instead of mine?" Spat Ivy, her voice dripping with contempt.

Here, Spiro's face contorted into something that somehow resembled a pained look. However, the months exposed to only prison food had given him an unhealthy look of someone who had permanent indigestion, so it was a hard to get any further pain out of his facial features.

"Your mother refuses to use nuclear power out of ethics. _Ethics_, can you believe that? Her religion doesn't even exist… in this world, at any rate. And besides, this is the only way that she has to ensure that you will go with her." A twist of the lips seemed to indicate a sneer, but the continuing pained look sort of ruined the desired effect.

"Why would she want to have me there with her? It's not as if she doesn't wish that her daughter had a sweeter temperament, and that I didn't have these powers. Why doesn't she just go back and get another child?" Ivy's voice was bitter. It was no secret from her that her mother was less than satisfied with her attitude.

"If you must know, I'm only taking you there because your father will be expecting you to come with me. If you're not with me, I do not think that he will accept me back either."

Ivy bristled. Her mother had an uncanny insistence on probing her mind at all times. It was hard to hide anything from a mother who wielded her power like an interrogation device, such as the rack or thumbscrews, but it wasn't difficult to believe either. However, over the years, Ivy had developed certain immunity to Melissa's probes.

After all, a girl had to have her secrets – especially from her parents. Her mother could certainly keep secrets from her.

As she set up her iron curtain, as it were, in her mind, she summarised what she needed for now. Time. She still had one more ace in the hole, depending upon whether or not it had already been rumbled. Shoving the thought into an insignificant corner of her mind was difficult; after all, her ace in the hole would involve revealing to her mother that the Vows no longer meant anything to her.

And that would be Melissa's cue to use more direct methods of forcing her daughter into obedience.

* * *

Artemis was, in one very inappropriate word to describe a genius, panicking. The communicator was ringing, that much was true. However, the features that greeted him were not the elfin features he had been expecting. In fact, they weren't even welcome to him.

"Ah… Captain Kelp. I trust that you are well…" Artemis felt, for the first time in his life, like punching a wall. One part of him, obviously the rational part, rebuked this want and scorned his desire. The larger majority of him still felt like punching a very hard object.

Root, however, was having some more problems. His face was so red that Artemis started to worry about having a fairy with a burst brain vessel on his hands, and without sufficient resources, there would be small chance of Root actually surviving.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT ACORN ON YOUR LAPEL, CORPORAL? GET IT OFF… NOW!" From the confused look on Grub Kelp's face, the ex-commander found the excuse for bellowing out another order, "WHAT ARE YOU STARING FOR? DO YOU EXPECT A SWEAR TOAD TO JUMP OUT OF MY MOUTH? BECAUSE I'M THIS CLOSE TO SAYING SOME WORDS THAT WILL BURN YOUR…"

Here, Root had to break off into a series of coughing, due partly to the extensive yelling he had just done, but mostly because of the gravel Fowl had managed to stuff into his mouth. Artemis cleared his throat, looked into the screen again, and decided against playing with Kelp until he ran to fetch a superior officer. Any superior officer, judging by the now feeble look on his face and the jittering of the screen that conveyed the shaking of a certain elf's hands.

"If you would excuse my over-enthusiastic friend here, I shall be happy to make my wants known to you. Now, here is how everything stands. I need either Detective Holly Short or Major Trouble Kelp. Anyone else, and I will come and hunt you down. Am I understood?" The cold, steely hint in his voice rang true, and a moment later he was facing both of the requested elves.

"Fowl! What are you doing here?" Exclaimed Kelp, his face going almost as red as Root's current facial colour.

"Forget that, Artemis, how did you patch into this intercom? It's on a private line!" Holly was, apparently, fuming, and Artemis could see at once that it was a bad attempt at concealing her embarrassment. His eyes requested inquisitively after their inter-locked fingers.

"Have I interrupted something private?" He asked with a trademark vampire smirk. "I hate to interrupt so rudely, but this is a matter of urgency."

"We're coming over to the surface now, Fowl, and we'll be there in approximately five minutes. Can your life and death situation wait till then?"

"I am not yet certain, but I have it on good witness that Kestrel has been taken hostage, bodily harm unknown, although my intuition tells me that it is more than a little grudge."

"Yes, but can you wait until it is physically possible for us to make it to the surface? Surely you have some patience, Artemis." Holly's eyes were rolling. Obviously the urgency of the situation had not yet hit her.

"Detective Short, one of the only remotely human friends I have is being held prisoner at the hands of Jon Spiro. We've already got a problem about him being a cornered enemy, and that makes him all the more dangerous. We've got to get her out of there!" Emotions were slowly seeping into his voice, startling both of the elves into a sense of urgency. The name 'Spiro', however, was the word that made Holly jump in shock.

"Are you sure? The actual Jon Spiro?" Asked Holly, crossing the small distance to the screen.

Of course, it was at this time that Root came into the picture, shoving Fowl away from the screen, and staring at Holly in an expression of relief, disbelief and anger. Anger being the overruling emotion.

"SHORT! What have I heard about you QUITTING the LEP?"

It was at this moment that Holly decided to stare, yelp, and faint. In that order.

Root was the recipient of two stares, although they were for different purposes. Kelp's stare seemed to be more of disbelief and slight dislike, whilst Fowl's stare was more of a hostile glare than anything else.

"Root, I know that yelling yourself into madness, but please, refrain from doing so until I have explained the situation fully to them." His voice was once again the clipped, cold voice that Root had first heard. It sent shivers down his spine.

"That's better, now, Major, if you would be so kind as to revive Detective Short…" Artemis was really behaving very well. He had stopped himself from both emphasising 'detective' just to annoy Root and from commenting on that the Major did not have to use the kiss of life, seeing as Holly was still, evidently, breathing.

When Holly came back to the world of consciousness again, her eyes were still a little wild at the sight of her ex-Commander staring at her, a little battered up and scarred, but still the same Beetroot, if the bellow and the facial colour was anything to go by.

"C-commander… I…er…erm…how are you?" Kelp started off lamely. Artemis rolled his eyes. Apparently, Major Kelp's grasp of phatic conversation was about as advanced as a toddler's knowledge.

"Before we go into any floods of tears, I would like to remind all present that Ivy is still in danger and that I am quite anxious to get her out of that situation. So unless you really feel like having Butler come at you on my orders, then you had better hurry up."

The lack of emotion in the statement didn't do much for the atmosphere, especially when Artemis ended the link. His icy blue eyes were misting over, and black spots were beginning to eat the edges of his vision. He sat down, and let the darkness consume him.

* * *

Ivy was still trying to reach for her sword. Her walls of defence were wearing down, and she was feeling more than a little nauseous now. The leather straps had caused her wrists to start bleeding, and the material burnt on her.

"You may as well give up and go with your mother, kid. It's not as if you've got much of a choice." Smirked Spiro, his teeth gnashing pointlessly on empty air. The habit of chewing cigars into pulps was hard to break.

"Why do you still defy me, Ivy?" Asked Melissa, melancholy dripping from her voice.

"As if you didn't know, Mother. Your idea of my intended life is a brainless, beautiful girl who had your charm and for me to get married pretty rapidly. Somehow, I don't think I fit that description. You consider my powers as a threat to your reputation, and you treat it as if it were a disease when you know full well that it was probably a common power amongst your people…"

Ivy trailed off as her mother shook her head slowly. She was babbling, and she almost hung her head in shame at this ridiculous tactic, but it was the only one still working for her. However, the fact that her mother wasn't simply sitting there and being silent anymore.

"What? Are you saying that my powers are faulty?"

"No, Ivy. What I'm saying is that your power wasn't hereditary. It is given. How else do you think that I knew about the Vows?"

Now this was something new. She opened her mouth to enquire after the meaning of this, when Spiro clapped his hands sharply.

"Okay, Mel. The machine is ready. The girl had better decide what she wants pretty soon, 'cos she's not gonna have a chance in about ten minutes."

Melissa swung around to face Jon, a blissful smile on her face. Forgotten was the explanation owed to her daughter – she was going home.

* * *

Holly and Trouble arrived in Chicago three minutes after Holly's small dilemma, Trouble looking more than a little shaken and Holly feeling totally invigorated. Of course, you have to take into account who the typical fly-boy was in the vicinity.

"Commander! You're alive!" Holly was still too much of an LEPrecon officer – she did the customary salute, Kelp following suit. Then she dropped all formality and decorum and hugged her old friend and comrade fiercely, earning a more than obvious jealous glance from Trouble.

Artemis was still groggy after his own state of unconsciousness and not so gentle way of waking up. Opening one's eyes to Root's glowing red face that was filled with concern just wasn't natural!

Seeing that the reunion may have taken some time, he intervened, calling out,

"Piccolo! Have you got the car?" Of course, 'run down cart' was more accurate than car in this case, but it was a mode of transport that did not rely on horsepower, so it was good enough.

Although, when Holly climbed aboard, she cast a worrying glance at the wheels, that looked as if they had been worn down to the smoothest glass sheen. Taking a deep breath, thanking her stars that Mulch wasn't driving, she climbed on.

"Okay, Root, which prison are we headed to?" Artemis asked, before anyone could start a less touchy issue than the matter of Ivy's abduction.

Kelp, who was never that diplomatic, simply asked,

"Are you selfish usually, or is it just because of Ivy that you're acting like this?"

Fowl opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again, and fell back into his seat, being silent for the rest of the journey.

* * *

Ivy could feel Fowl's movements and another three being's movements towards the building. Smiling, she manoeuvred her hands so that they were touching her hilt, and pulled. The pain was excruciating, and she could hear the audible crack as her elbows dislocated.

Obviously Spiro and Melissa did as well, judging from their winces, and they ran over to their power source. The sword was lying beside the girl now, and the hilt was pointing towards the entrance of the cell. The girl was smiling weakly.

"They're coming."

Fowl sighed. This was almost too easy. The security system was, like all systems, easy to bypass, and the guards hadn't even stood a chance to the Neutrinos' blasts. Root was enough to make the lesser mortals, as it were, to scream and run away.

Although, Pex and Chips just let them through because of the after effects of the mesmerising almost a year ago now. Holly gave Artemis the honour (and humiliation) of saying the magic words. You know what they are.

When they managed to get to the chamber, Artemis suddenly realised that they were walking in with practically no plan whatsoever. This was done on impulse, not strategy or analysis – they were walking in blind.

Fowl decided then and there to seek council with himself afterwards. He needed it, if he was doing something as rash as this for a mere human who he had some kind of sentimental attachment to.

When they entered, Spiro's eyes were drawn immediately to Artemis. Deep inside him, Artemis Junior felt sorry for the balding man. The white washed walls weren't doing his health much good, judging from the unhealthy pallor radiating off him.

"Hey! Artemis, my boy, how are you?" This phatic beginning was nonetheless laced with anger and torment. There wasn't much longer before his sanity would flee; or his life. Depending which one gave out first.

Melissa, however, was screaming at her daughter, quite oblivious to what was happening behind her.

"Why did you do that, you idiot? You are in no condition to fight, and dislocating your elbows wasn't the best course either… your health may not even be guaranteed to survive when you cross over…"

"Madam, I believe you mean _if_ she decides to go with you. She still has ties to this world, whatever you may believe." Artemis uttered taking in his surroundings. Ivy's permanent sword was there on the ground. She had let him use it about twice in his lifetime, but it was enough for him to know its weight.

Before he even felt the slight wind that was Ivy's power, he had already anticipated her move. Crouching down, reaching out, and slicing through the straps was, like the rest of the trip, too easy. Something didn't fit.

And he looked at the machine. And gaped in stupidity.

"Ah."

The C Cube had a twin. And it had been updated.

A/N: Thank you all for being so patient! I appreciate any kind of review, be it constructive criticism or praise! Please REVIEW!

Thanks!

AmethystNox


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16 – In which the People should be afraid… very afraid…**

"Well, then, Arty boy, you didn't think that I would seriously not run a full scanner on that C Cube the moment I had it in my hands, did you?" Laughed Spiro, his laugh still the rasping gasp that Artemis remembered.

"I am impressed, Spiro, that you managed to build this when your funding is less than a million, at least. How on earth did you manage to replicate the C Cube?" Drawled Artemis, willing himself to be calm.

Ivy, probably from the pain, had slumped forward and was gasping. Her arms felt raw, and her shoulders may as well have been non-existent from all the response she was getting from them. Silently cursing to herself for not being able to heal herself, she struggled into a sitting position, wincing whenever she moved her elbows. Her mother was right – she had dislocated her elbows.

"You still can't make me power your machine for you. If I don't release by my own free will, then you just won't get the result." This would have been a small triumph, had her mother and her uncle not looked at each other and laughed out loud at it.

"My dear, there was another reason for placing all those vows on you. We were hoping not to have to resort to the Lightning Vow, but it was necessary in the end." Smirked Spiro, revealing his yellowed teeth.

"What?" This was probably the first time a singular syllable had escaped from Artemis's mouth since he was three. It was more than unbearably embarrassing, especially when it was uttered before his enemy!

"So then, you wanted to make me break my vow, and then direct my energy flow into that … that… thing? Well, sorry to disappoint you all, but my vow has already been broken."

Silence came flooding in like a torrential rainfall on a tropical rainforest. The silence was so still and deafening that Artemis would swear later that he could hear dust particles hitting the cold, stone floor.

The absence of sound was broken by Ivy's mother, whose perfect features were maintaining their perfection, even though her eyes were wider than that perceived as normal and her lips were pouting in a rather childish manner.

"That is impossible, girl. You can't have gotten enough time to break free of your Vow this early in the proceedings! It's just impossible!"

A laugh tore itself from Ivy's throat, "Oh, mother! If only you knew how easy it is for me to break free now…"

Here, Fowl interrupted the nice little family chat (not!) and dropped the bombshell, as it were,

"If you are talking about the magic I know she possesses within her, then you are gravely mistaken. Of course I am unaware of the powers of nature that dances upon her fingertips. And I am obviously ignorant to her easy manipulation of various basic elements. I don't even know what you mean when you talk about Vows…"

Melissa turned to her daughter, and, seeing her standing there with no mark of a burn on her at all, let out an almost feral scream. Spiro stared at the diminutive girl, and the pale boy who had outsmarted him once before. It was ridiculous! How could he be beaten twice by the same boy?

Whether it was due to stress, insanity or both, we will never know. However, the fact that Spiro reached out towards the machine and flicked a large, important looking switch and pressed the big red button was enough to get both the adolescents worried. The metallic, unemotional voice that emitted from it next, however, was probably the scariest moment.

At least, what it was saying was terrifying.

"Scanning for revolving frequencies. Scan complete. LEP Scopes online." Everyone froze at this comment. This machine was picking up the LEP Scopes? Artemis hoped sincerely that Spiro didn't have the faintest clue whatsoever about the whereabouts, much less the existence of the People.

However, one look into the dilated pupils of his former rival, and the junior Fowl could see that Spiro knew of the existence of the LEP, and knew what they were for. Of course, he cursed, Melissa must have told him about all of it. Not as if _she_ didn't know who the People were.

"Lebanese TV satellite company, eh? Who was on the other side of the Cube last time it duped me?" Sneered Spiro, his yellowed teeth mocking Artemis.

It was at times like these that Artemis needed a clear head, and couldn't find one. Being in a situation like this somehow made his brain freeze up, so that the usual stream of ideas suddenly went through a drought.

"Ah, now, now, Spiro. Let's not jump to conclusions, shall we? What makes you think that the Cube was lying? It could just be Melissa trying to goad you into helping her by putting me into bad light." He tried his hardest to convert his smirk into a helpless whimper. Needless to say that he failed miserably.

"Fowl, the year you have spent apart from criminal enterprises has made you even less than what you were before! I may not have one helluva team or my limitless funds anymore, but at least I still my morality in its thousands of small pieces."

If the situation were slightly less threatening, then Artemis would have thought up a plan by now. Unfortunately, with nothing at their immediate disposal, nothing could be done. Not even any fairy magic to help, seeing as the fairies had not been given an invitation to come in yet.

And that was when it hit him. The People didn't need to be under eyeball orders to enter a building, they only needed some necessity to come in.

Not quite believing that he was about to do this, he yelled out as loudly as possible,

"Help would be appreciated right now!"

About two seconds after this outburst, Spiro was staring down a Neutrino 3000 with nowhere to run or hide. Although that may not have been the most shocking thing to his already ruined biological system.

The gun was being held by a very short, very dangerous looking _thing_ that closely resembled an elf. The fact that it was wearing a green jumpsuit with unrecognised acorn insignia and symbols that seemed threatening even when un-translated. There was another one, to his left, that held a dangerous expression of rage and indescribable flame.

Spiro tried to shrink back from the gun, only to find a very small, very familiar looking man looking up at him, tombstone teeth revealed to their widest point.

"Mo Digence! I thought that Pex and Chips buried you! Deep!" Spiro's voice was heightened now due to extreme stress levels. His complexion didn't look too good either. In comparison to Root, it made Julius feel like a century old again, a newbie on the squad.

"Please, Mr Spiro, try to retain some sort of dignity. These are my… ah… associates who helped me to develop the C Cube. And I do not think that they are very happy about you stealing and replicating that technology." Artemis felt back in control. At least, that was what he thought.

"Oh Frond…" Gasped Kelp, staring at the monstrosity before him, "Foaly, are you getting this?"

"Getting it, Major, and I'm not liking it. That thing is a threat to all of us, especially the People." Came an unusually serious voice from the other side of the link. This wasn't good, especially if Foaly was treating it seriously.

"You need us to discharge it, then?" Asked Trouble, still unable to tear himself away from it.

"Yes, that would be brilliant, Major Kelp. Would you like a deep fried pit slug whilst you're at it?" Snapped Foaly, obviously miffed at the fact that some of his technology had been copied.

But nobody noticed it when Melissa managed to get a hold of her daughter and start to methodically attach various wires to her. A gun, with real, if weak, bullets inside, pointing at Artemis's spine was enough to make Ivy stay silent. At the moment, the spotlight was on the fairies trying to dismantle this monstrosity.

Artemis, naturally, was helping them, but with his still limited knowledge of fairy technology, and the situation, it seemed as if every road he led them down came to a dead end. Root, who preferred to keep away from technology as much as possible, opted to sit on Spiro, staring him until he was quivering. This was strange – two medical disasters just waiting to happen, and the giant coronary was winning out.

Ivy wasn't about to let Melissa win so easily. There was no way that she was going to forfeit her power and person this easily, especially not when so much was being offered by freedom.

Whether her next action was born out of calculated risk or sheer desperation, we'll never know, but she somehow managed to force her mouth to yell out the one word nobody ever thought would come from her lips,

"Help!"

Artemis wheeled around, and saw the small gun. He had been training more, and his reflexes were faster, but the bullet still clipped his side. Nothing serious, thanks to the Kevlar, but at that range, and considering Artemis's not-so-impressive weight, he was spun around like a ballerina doing a very bad pirouette.

Seeing that this plan had failed, Melissa dragged her daughter upright, and intoned a hypnotic voice to address the people in the room.

"_We are going now. We will not come back. You will leave this place. This place does not exist. We never existed. We are going now. Farewell."_

And with that, Melissa deftly twisted Ivy's arm so that she was forced to move her arm. The pain was too much for her; she had never experienced anything like it before! She couldn't help it. The controls that she had built up over the years to keep the elements in check broke down, and all hell broke loose.

* * *

Artemis was the first to wake up. Everything was so blurry in his memory. It was like having his mind wiped again, but he could still remember the fairy people. Another memory tugged at him. Something to do with magic. Something to do with… with…

Around him, his friends were stirring, although Spiro seemed to be overwhelmed by all that had happened. Artemis clutched at his side – what had hit him? He guessed at a small calibre bullet, hardly anything to worry about, even at this distance.

"Is everyone still intact and conscious?" Demanded Root, slipping easily into a commander's boots again. "Fowl, your frail bones okay?"

"Yes, I believe I remain intact and unharmed, except for a minor concussion." Frowned Artemis, trying to clear his head.

"Holly, Trouble, you both okay?" Asked Root, gruffness covering a muffled chuckle at the closer-than-just-friends position that his former two best officers were in.

"We're fine, command… er… sir." Kelp replied, slightly stuck as to what to call his former leader.

Oblivious to this, Root turned to another spot, where the machine was, and started to form a name, but then stopped. Something in Fowl Junior's brain clicked. There was something amiss here.

Walking over to Spiro, Artemis checked him for life signs. Unfortunately, there was still a strong, if fast, pulse and heartbeat from the man. Obviously avoiding questioning. Unable to control himself, Artemis Fowl, calm, unemotional, cool, smooth adolescent, reached over to the small gun on the floor and shot Jon Spiro in the leg.

"I'll shoot you in the other leg as well if you don't answer these questions." Artemis's voice was soft, clipped. Dangerous.

They left ten minutes later with a recently healed, babbling man begging to see a courtroom to admit to being guilty. Fairies and humans alike were avoiding Fowl's gaze. This didn't escape the boy genius.

"Alright, what have I done now? I've got the confession from him, haven't I?" Snapped the teenager, for the first time in his life sounding like a normal boy bickering with his friends. Albeit friends who weren't even human.

"You didn't have to shoot the guy! Just hand him over to me and I could have _mesmerized_ him into telling us the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth! What did you have to shoot him for?" Demanded Holly, her coffee complexion also turning into a slight rosy hue.

Artemis fell silent. He didn't know what was going on in his mind. For some reason, he just felt unbelievably and irrevocably furious at Jon. It was ridiculous! He was Artemis Fowl, someone who didn't lose his cool at all! How was it that this small thing managed to make him lose it so badly?

Back at HQ, Root contacted Foaly. The they had to immediately switch the speaker to Holly, seeing as Foaly could hardly force out a whole sentence in front of the assumed dead commander.

"But… but… but… the vitals… the suit… the explosion…" This was one of the most treasured moments in Root's life. The pompous centaur, stumbling for words. He held up a hand.

"Not now, Foaly, we can start shouting at each other after we pull out of here. I think that we have trespassed on these people for long enough. They deserve a rest from this old face." Root grinned, and his favourite centaur beamed so much that it seemed as if his lips might have come off the sides of his face if his anatomy allowed it. "By the way, how's Diggums?"

"Oh, he's fine, he's out of prison, and he's part of Holly's team now…"

The ex-commander shot the former LEP Captain a withering glance, that obviously said, 'I'll deal with you later.'

Then Foaly did it. He dropped the bombshell.

"Where's Ivy? Is she going back to Ireland, or is she coming down to Haven with us?" Foaly looked past the monitor screen, "In fact, I can't see her anywhere… where is she?"

All the room's new occupants looked at each other in confusion.

"Who's Ivy?" Asked Fowl, intrigued by the alarm bells going off in his head. He had never known someone called Ivy. Surely, if she were part of the team of fairies or involved in this somehow…

And that was when Kat barged in, shoved her way to the monitor screen, and held a handgun to the Fowl heir's head.

"Okay, 'fess up! What have you done with Ivy, 'cos I sure didn't see her come back with you!"

A/N: Hah! Cliffie!Review people, if you want the next installment! (Actually, even if you don't review, I'm still going to put it up... I love writing too much... :) )

Amethyst Nox


	17. Chapter 17

Er... sorry I haven't updated for a while... been slightly busy... looks nervously upwards and seesanother mountain of summer homework hanging above the desk RUN AWAY SCREAMING!

Disclaimer: Oh yeah, and I don't own AF - you just have to read this to know.

**Chapter 17 – In which Foaly reveals a bit more for the intellectually challenged of the group**

Artemis wasn't sure what hurt more – that Kat had managed to land in another punch in so many hours, or that some kind of information – important information, at that – had been successfully suppressed within his memory. After all, he had been mind-wiped before, but even then he had been able to control a small part of it.

It was small satisfaction to know that this time it was not the fairies' existence that was wiped from his head, but it was still chilling that some… some _human_ had managed to suppress a memory, a significant one at that, the way Kat and Foaly had fretted about it.

They were on their way to Haven, seeing as they needed Foaly to remove the wipe, or at least bring out the memories again. He crossed the yellow lines dividing the cockpit and the piloting area. The shuttle was, by now, relatively stable. And I emphasise the _slightly_ part.

"Holly, is this really that necessary? After all, we are partners, if not friends. Are you still so prejudiced against the Mud Men that you would try your hardest to make the G-Force tear the flesh off Butler and me?" He asked, yelling over the roar of the surrounding air of the chute as the shuttle tore through its layers.

Holly yelled something back, and it sounded suspiciously like 'shut your mouth, Artemis, Foaly sounded urgent!' Sighing in defeat, Fowl sank behind the yellow line. This was essential to something, and the ghosts of memories were coming back to haunt him, and the one persistent memory was of a pair of emerald green eyes. The eyes of a predator.

Eyes of a bird of prey.

* * *

The shuttle continued its amazing yet solitary journey down the E116 chute. (A/N: The Los Angeles one, you can check if you like)

Foaly was foaming. After all, it was a characteristic of horses, and centaurs _were_ part horse, after all. He was grinding his teeth when the company arrived through the Plaza doors.

"Okay, where's Ivy? Where've you hidden her?" He seemed slightly agitated, and he wasn't even wearing his tin foil hat anymore.

Then he turned around and faced Julius, who sucked deeply on his cigar and puffed it deliberately into the centaur's face, "Hello, Foaly. Miss me?"

The centaur's eyes went wide, and his mouth opened almost as large as Mulch's did when he unhinged. If it were physically possible for a centaur to kick himself on the shin, then Foaly would have done it. It just wouldn't do to be having a mental breakdown whilst in the middle of a possible crisis…

"My mental health must be worse than a swear toad on truth serum if I'm seeing these sort of illusions… okay, will deal with it later. Hello, Julius, figment of my imagination. Now, let's get going!"

Artemis put out one arm to bar the centaur from literally galloping through Police Plaza and basically telling everyone there was something going on, and they would all come and investigate, of course.

And, due to the last B'wa Kell crisis, Foaly had installed two way windows in the Ops Booth, unbreakable, of course, but everyone would be able to see the two Mud Men in the Booth. And that was just inviting some sort of trouble. _This Ivy must be very important if Foaly is being this irrational about the whole business, _Artemis mused, and if he were his old self, he would be smirking, pleased that he was staying calm amidst the chaos.

Of course, that was his old self. This was the new.

"Foaly, kindly collect yourself, please. We did not come all this way to help you find this mysterious person that we cannot remember unless you give us a reasonably good explanation before we go galloping off on some half improvised plan of rescue. Now, what's going on?"

Foaly took a deep breath, and pulled out the statistics sheet on the computer. Artemis scanned it. The average for earthquakes, damage control, tectonic plate movement…

They had all gone up. In the past 24 hours.

"This…this is impossible… there's no way that these things could have risen so much in only 24 hours! It is geologically and physically impossible!"

"Mud Boy, I thought that you had known the People long enough to know that the human word 'impossible' really doesn't apply to us. Now, please, amend your sentence." Foaly grinned, almost enjoying the banter that only took place between two genii.

"I mean… highly unlikely that these figures can increase by over 60 in such a short time limit…"

"Exactly, the tectonic plates were being suppressed by superior authority, apparently, and they subsided their activities; how do you think the People hardly ever got damage from the tectonic plates above moving?" Snapped Foaly, ignoring the blinking gazes from the rest of the gathered crowd.

"Yes, but if you are so far beneath the Earth…" Artemis started, also ignorant of the gaping and uncomprehending faces around him.

Root, naturally, was the first to tire of the babble coming from both the genii, and gave up trying to distinguish the lines and squiggles displayed on the sheet.

"Foaly, if you don't tell me what is going on right now, I may have to prove to you that I am indeed not an hallucination by demonstrating how my fist can connect with your nose." The ex-commander's voice was deadly still and calm, just as in the eye of the storm. "And would somebody _please_ fill me in with what has happened in the past three months or so when I have been recuperating and thinking that the entire Lower Elements was in the control of Opal Koboi?"

Foaly stared at the commander, then at Holly and Kelp, and finally to Artemis, who nodded his agreement. His curiosity could wait another ten minutes or so.

"Go ahead, Foaly, you should start to explain things for the intellectually challenged of the group." It took Root about twenty seconds to figure out that Fowl had just insulted him. After shooting a glare that could have peeled the skin off Artemis's flesh as effectively as a blue rinse would have, he nodded to Foaly to continue.

"Now that you two have finished the usual exchange of insults and such, I need to upload the Fowl Files…" He risked a glance at Artemis. _D'Arvit, the Mud Adolescent was still as unperturbed as anything; obviously he expected to a have a file compiled on him, even though he knows we are, in a sense, friends._

"Okay, starting from when you …er… were presumed dead." Foaly finished lamely. After all, who could say that Root was, indeed, dead? "Okay, so anyway, Holly went to look for Fowl, who was narrowly escaping a bio-bomb sent by Koboi, and Holly picked him up on the way. Anyway, long story cut short, they managed to detain Koboi and…" Here, Foaly broke off and started to shuffle around. He turned to Holly.

"Er… does he know about the you-know-what yet?"

"What? About Short quitting? Yeah, I know. And about Sool? Yes, I also know, and just as soon as I get the document saying that I am alive, I will personally defenestrate him…"

"No, I mean… the other thing…"

And that was when Mulch knocked on the door, whilst shouting several rude things to Holly, one of which being,

"D'Arvit, Holly, are we partners or not? You said that I wasn't the sidekick, but I still seem to be getting it…"

It was at this point that Foaly was glad that LEP officers always carried medical equipment with them in case of emergencies, because it looked like the office pool on the condition of Root's heart coronary was about to be reactivated and won by somebody.

* * *

Meanwhile, Ivy was drifting in and out of consciousness. She was in the darkness, then a man's voice was commenting on how she had managed to survive for the journey, as battered as she was.

Then she saw Artemis in the gym again, punching at the punch bag.

And back to that comforting, male voice that soothed her, as a father would do…

Artemis arguing with her about possibilities for a computer program.

The voice…

And all the while, Ivy unconsciously muttered the Fowl heir's name over and over again, whilst her slender fingers continued to tap on the mattress. No form of Morse Code, or Koboi Code. Just random tapping of the fingers, not always in seemingly different positions. Duke Kestrel sighed. Perhaps it was best to send for the Fowl family now.

* * *

When Julius Root came to, he was greeted by one of the more nightmarish faces that haunted his nights. One past convict, Mulch Diggums.

"Convict! Why aren't you in your cell right now? I don't want any kind of excuse – I want an explanation, or you'll be spending the next decade in Howler's Peak and…"

Here, the ex-commander had to stop for breath. Of course, his face had turned purple by now, seeing as his body still hadn't made complete recuperation and his heart was already pretty weak already. That and he had become used to helmet stored oxygen – he hadn't held his breath for longer than five seconds, and that was during the Goblin Uprising, when Holly's finger was being reattached.

And Frond knew that that was the longest five seconds of his life. And over six centuries is a pretty impressive life, you've got to admit.

"Tut, tut, Julius, you're getting behind. I'm not a 'convict' anymore – I'm cleared of all charges." Mulch's face was grinning now, and Artemis was only just managing to keep a straight face. "Somehow, your search warrant wasn't valid for imprisoning me, so I got let out."

Foaly put his sizeable haunch in front of ex-convict and ex-commander, to prevent any further injury, "Okay, you two, now is not the time. We need to find Ivy, and fast. You know, before our civilisation collapses due to some unpredicted magma flares…"

"I thought that magma flares were your specialty, Foaly?" Distracted for a rare minute, Root's eyes now focussed on the centaur, and Foaly started fervently cursing in several different languages. Artemis understood five of them. Something about saving an ungrateful life.

Of course, the version above is the politer version of what Foaly was saying.

"Okay, I admit, most of the time it was due to Kestrel's information that I could predict those magma flares. She said that she needed to let the Earth have some releases from time to time and that she would warn me when that happened…"

"Foaly, I believe that you are going too fast for most of us to bear in mind. Would you care to explain to the people who have had these memories suppressed? I would certainly like to clarify why this girl is able to help you with predicting magma flares. Especially since I doubt that she has access to any kind of equipment."

And that, Foaly realised, was the heart of the matter. This world simply couldn't survive without Kestrel – it was like a deep-fried pit slug without the rainwater sauce.

* * *

Artemis Fowl was a shady character, as humans went. Usually, they were much more open than the People. Kestrel (Senior, not Ivy) was, indeed, intrigued by him, especially since his school scores almost surpassed those of centaurs ten times his age (which was entirely possible, of course). However, the boy standing before him now…

The piercing blue eyes were sharp, shrewd, smirking. The features that framed it may have passed for aristocratic. The boy's build was tall, but not gangly, as many humans were during puberty. The mountainous bulk of muscle that followed him around, Domovoi Butler, as the boy called him, looked as if he could snap anyone and anything in half. Excluding trolls, of course, although one was never sure of facts until proven.

"What is it that _my lord,_" Artemis Fowl seemed to have his double edged sword tongue in both worlds, "would have me do with your recently acquired daughter?"

Kestrel didn't even bother asking how the boy knew about the status of the delirious girl on the bed. The vast majority of the household staff (and a fair number of Secret Service people as well) knew that Fowl's surveillance equipment was genius, and were whisper sensitive.

The fairy sighed. Things were so much easier when they were only fighting against each other, not acting as diplomatic envoys.

And the girl's muttering immediately started again, this time a one sided argument taking place.

"No, Artemis, the hormonal structure and DNA structure are linked, as is everything in your body. Most people in Nursery would be able to tell you that…"

The sentence was punctuated in short gasps, as if the girl's lungs were struggling to survive.

"Now listen here, Fowl, you know me well enough, but this is my daughter. She is my flesh and blood; I need you to revive her. The Healers are simply not strong enough for her." The equally piercing green eyes of Duke Kestrel were boring into Artemis. "As of yet, I do not even know of her eye colour, whether they are mine or not. My wife is still in a coma – I do not know why this girl is still able to speak!" His voice was wild, untamed and hoarse. He knew that the Fowl would see this as a chink in his armour, but he was beyond caring – all he wanted was his daughter and wife back.

The Fowl family's sole heir frowned slightly, "My only gift is with balance. I make sure those who die are meant to die and those who live are meant to be living. I make sure who wins the battle and who wins the war. If you like, I am the middle of the grey area between black and white." He shrugged nonchalantly as if this was any old power, such as healing or compulsion. "It was the task dictated to me from birth, so it is the task that I take unto my own grave, when the time comes."

"So you can't do anything? Not until the girl is dead?" Dismay rolled through every fibre of the elf's being.

"Oh no, _my lord_, I can do a lot before. Just as soon as she finishes typing that message." A slim, pianist finger pointed imperiously at the furiously moving digits.

Even in unconsciousness, Ivy Kestrel would hold onto self-control and simply order her body to do something, no matter what the pain.

* * *

A reality away, four pairs of unbelieving eyes stared at Foaly and the several video discs of Ivy's various tried and failed attempts of mastering her own powers.

"Well, this is interesting. So how do we still not remember, Foaly, when you've shown us enough stimuli for us to practically know the girl anyway?" Asked Artemis, his perfectly manicured nails drumming the work surface. Now it was Foaly's turn to be shocked. How could this much information penetrate and still not get through to their locked memories?

He typed a few instructions into the computer, and a few minutes later, a few of his underlings arrived with four sets of fine tune memory wipe material. Artemis recoiled - was he about to be wiped again?

* * *

A/N: Dun dun dun! What's Foaly doing? And what are Ivy's instructions?

Ivy: What are you looking at me for? I don't know what you're going to do with me! In fact, readers, I doubt that she even knows what she's going to write for the next chapter.

AmethystNox: Are you the author or am I?

Ivy: You, obviously, although how you managed to create such an intelligent creature such as me, I don't know.

AmethystNox: Egocentric, much?

Ivy: You created me like that!

AmethystNox: Whatever. Anyway, ahem, as I was saying...

Ivy: Ha! I knew it! You don't even have a plot! You're making it up as you go along!

AmethystNox: Then you'd better be very, VERY nice to me to avoid me putting in any mention of your death. Smiles sweetly whilst stepping on Ivy's foot, only to be thrown off chair

Ivy: Empty threats, the lot of them. Anyway, read and review, and any criticism had better be constructive!

AmethystNox: Those were NOT empty threats! Takes out handy radioactive bar Ha! I now have a weapon! Please R&R!


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18 – In which some things need to be explained… badly**

Foaly stopped the discs at the last one, the one just before the C Cube madness. Foaly winced as he saw the fountain outside Spud's Emporium respond to the electricity flowing from Kestrel's fingertips. Perhaps letting a thirteen-year-old girl, half way through adolescence, free into a place filled to the tips with single sprites, mostly resembling Chix's personality.

It had taken some of them at least a week in the Haven Hospital to get onto the 'stable' list.

And yet, they were all staring without any recognition on their faces. Holly, naturally, was the first to respond to it all.

"I babysat? For _that_ girl?" Foaly nodded, causing Holly to mutter, "At least they didn't put Lili Frond on the job. Her personality would have caused even more disaster in Haven."

For once, Foaly couldn't help but agree with this sentiment.

And then he realised something. Foaly started swearing almost as well as a swear toad by now, albeit without the occasional swelling of the chin. That would make him look weirder than a goblin at a civilised tea party.

"I've shown you all of this and still no residual memories being triggered? What is wrong with your minds and how strong was that mind-wipe?" He kicked a ground button viciously. An electronic voice (his own, naturally) piped up.

"What is your request?"

"My request," Everyone, including Root, was starting to edge away from Foaly now, "Is that somebody had better send for my underlings with mind-wipe material, because I can see that only the good old low-tech is going to be able to solve this now!" The centaur was never in the best of moods – especially when it turned out that somebody's mind-wiping material was much more successful than his own.

Or any kind of patent that excelled his, to be honest, and Foaly would foam at the mouth worse than a whole vat of vole curry.

His order was obeyed. Foaly had very few days like this, but when he did…

Let's just say that even Root was wary of the furious centaur, and leave it at that.

When the said material was brought, the four people in the room who had no recollection of Ivy whatsoever recoiled slightly. It was, after all, a daunting prospect to submit to the mind-wipe, so mind-wipe equipment usually lurked in some dark, un-dusted corner of every being who encountered fairies.

"Foaly, what are you doing with that thing?" Demanded Artemis, backing away from the technology displayed before him, for once losing any kind of curiosity about fairy technology. "I have not, as you may have realised, given my consent for a mind wipe to be performed on me."

Artemis Junior knew that he was babbling, and that the People did not really need permission to wipe him, but he was human as well – after all, being suspicious was in his nature.

"Relax, Fowl, I'm just going to do some retyping, so to speak. I'm going to have to do this manually, unfortunately. Someone has been using some very dangerous material here, and I can't be sure what kind of damage it has done to all of you. I advise you to relax." And with that, Foaly slapped two electrodes onto Artemis's temples, knocking the boy out immediately.

The boy's face still had a look of disbelief on it, as did all the people who were having electrodes attached to their temples. Of course, Fowl was more important to sedate faster – it was unlikely that he had taken any precautions, but then again, this was Artemis Fowl the Second, child prodigy, in question here.

"Foaly," Whispered Root, "If you bring me back with six centuries of emptiness in my head, I will personally burn your flank so that no female will look at you twice at that line-dancing club you go to…" And with that, he was knocked unconscious. Foaly hurriedly proceeded to delete the memory of that particular threat.

There was just one female centaur that Foaly had his eyes on, and he didn't want his chance of being a prospective mate going down the recycling chute.

He looked at the spiralling text. The parts with Ivy in them were faint… eerily faint. It was almost as if someone had literally managed to _wipe_ them. Of course, the term 'mind-wipe' was a bit of a misnomer. What the People really did was suppress memories. Given strong enough persuasion, those memories would escape the suppression and rise again into conscious thought, not just subconscious.

And that was exactly what Foaly had to do. Manually.

The centaur cast a brief look across the four sedated beings. Three elves, one human, all unconscious, and all about to have their minds tampered with. The mind was a delicate thing, and any mistakes were not to be taken lightly.

Then again…

Foaly shook his head, dislodging any ungracious thoughts on re-wiring the old commander. No, it was time to return their rightful memories.

This was going to take a while.

* * *

Ivy's requests were a little more than unusual. After all, a piece of burning coal, to be placed in her hand, was not on the average girl's list of what she would want to be done to her during her stay in limbo.

Of course, most average girls do not spend much _time_ in limbo, unless you count during the godforsaken hours in the morning.

For the most part, the requests were not too taxing, although it was slightly difficult to explain to the head gardener why they needed a patch of earth with an acorn in it, planted in an earthenware bowl.

As per instructions, the burning coal was placed within the girl's hands, and it immediately re-lighted (what, did you think that Duke Kestrel was going to let his daughter touch a literally burning coal?) and a slight tapping followed that sounded somewhat testy.

Fowl immediately translated, "Ah. She says that she thought her instructions were clear enough to be understood by a goblin."

Somehow, the insult did not penetrate to the greater depths of Kestrel Senior's brain. What he _was_ concerned with, was getting that great ball of fire out of his daughter's hand. Which he tried to do.

The operative word being 'tried' - he got promptly burnt, and saw a strange smirk appear on the girl's face. Similar to Fowl's, in fact. The duke was tempted to put his hands in his face and moan – his daughter hadn't even been conscious in the presence of Fowl yet and was already being corrupted by him.

When they had got the girl into the position she needed to be in, Fowl backed away several steps. The duke unconsciously followed, and then wondered why he was following,

"Fowl, why are we backing away?" He asked, whilst joining the pale human by the wall.

"The positions that she has instructed us to put her into are not common, sir. Those materials that she demanded would also be fairly substantial if magic were used to combine them. What are your daughter's powers again?" The youth smirked, obviously enjoying making his superior sweat for the fun of it.

_Was it possible that the elements had chosen his daughter…?_

And, at that moment in time, Ivy stopped mumbling and fidgeting. An inexplicable calm filled her, and she started to mutter something inaudible.

The inhabitants of the room, however, were quite sure of the context as soon as they saw the soft glow protruding from the four objects that Ivy Kestrel was in contact with. Humanoid figures appeared, clad in robes and each with its own compelling aura. The one clad in blue held the girl's hand tightly, murmuring something.

It was when the lightning bolt suddenly struck the young girl that her father finally decided to regain control over his drooping jaw and go and see who these beings were and just what they were doing with his daughter.

* * *

The job had taken over an hour, the longest time Foaly had ever had to work on a single project before. This was definitely a first.

Foaly had saved Fowl for last. In fact, Artemis was almost definitely the hardest to bring back. Whoever had wiped Fowl's memory had wanted it to be done thoroughly – the original memories were so faint and small that it would have been practically impossible to detect them. _Unless,_ smirked Foaly, bringing out his Retimager,_ you are a genius like me_.

Picking out the last thing that Fowl had seen, which, of course, was Melissa and Ivy, and cross-referenced his latest image with one of his faint memories, the boy genius's mind started to make links between the two pictures, eventually recognising them to be the same image. The idea was simple, in itself, but pure brilliance when examined under scrutiny.

The rest were relatively easy, seeing as their memories were not as faded as Fowl's, and their minds linked up the two images much faster as well. Obviously, whoever wanted Ivy's image to be erased from the surface of the earth wanted to make sure that Fowl especially didn't regain his memories.

Of course, this mysterious person hadn't counted on Ivy being known _under_ the earth's surface as well.

Eventually, they all came to. The operative word being 'eventually'. The sedative was a little stronger than necessary, but, after all, the mind was a delicate thing. If any of the people having their memories revived woke up halfway through the process, there was a good chance that some drastic changes would be made to their minds, perhaps irreversible damage.

"I feel like I just went through a fight with that troll in Martina Franca again." Groaned Holly, her hands cradling her head. Then her hazel eyes went wider than usual.

"Oh Frond, Ivy! Machine! Melissa!" Screamed Holly, apparently not able to speak in full sentences for the moment.

"Holly, may I remind you that full sentences are necessary in my presence?" Snapped the Mud adolescent, "And yes, I would like to express my displeasure as well, although I think that should be saved for a bit later on."

"How much later on, Fowl?" Root spat, his hand already going toward his mouth for the non-existent cigar, "The People can't survive for long without her, and at the moment there is something that we need to desperately do."

Everyone stared at the former commander, waiting for a clue to what he was going to say next. As per usual, Artemis beat everyone to it.

"Of course, we will be needing some more influence underground than just one LEP Major and three civilians. We need a Council Member," She glanced at Root, "or at least a candidate for the seat."

And so, the plan for making Root officially alive again within twenty-four hours proceeded, without too much unnecessary impatience from a certain Mud Adolescent. (Please note that I have not said that he was completely devoid of impatience)

* * *

The girl was conscious again, and looking about her for a clue to where she was. Her green eyes, so much like her father's, pierced through objects almost as easily as a blade would through a loaf of bread. She directed this gaze towards her father and someone that looked astonishingly like Artemis, although he held himself differently; his eyes were haunted, adding even more emphasis on his maturity beyond his years.

"Would someone mind telling me where I am?" She asked, when no further information came out of glaring at her father and the 'other' Artemis, so to speak. The young Fowl heir saw that she had expected someone to answer as soon as her eyes were upon them.

"My lady, you are within Duke Kestrel's domain. Are you going to inform us as to _your_ reason for being where you are?" Asked Artemis, his voice mocking Ivy as much as enlightening her.

"Fowl, if this is a Kestrel's domain, then I have a right to be here, wouldn't you say?" Ivy retorted, "More than you do, as my name is, in fact, Kestrel."

_One nil, and it's Fowl's turn,_ thought Duke Kestrel, trying not to grin manically. After all, it wouldn't be dignified if the current Duke Kestrel fell to pieces laughing in front of a human and his own daughter.

Seeing the slightly startled expression on Artemis's face, Ivy decided to rein in the attacks slightly,

"Artemis, give it up, you're never going to get as good as I am with these insults, no matter how much you try – you just won't degrade yourself by reading some fantasy novels." Smirked his daughter. _That's it, _Duke Kestrel cursed silently, _as soon as I have the chance, I am seeing if Fowl has the power to communicate telepathically, even though no such power has ever been recorded._

_My daughter has definitely been corrupted by him._

Wing Commander Vinyaya, well known for her piloting skills and path of flame through the unquestioned sexism within the Lower Elements Police force, and with a sharp tongue to match a certain other female LEPrecon ex-captain, couldn't seem to summon the words to her mouth as she saw her old crush stand before her, a lopsided grin plastered onto his face.

"Hello, Vinyaya. Miss me?" He asked. And, of all the possible answers she could have given, she had to blurt out the first:

"You're not alive!"

Welcoming, real welcoming.

* * *

A/N: Thanks to all of my reviewers! I am _still_ trying to work my way through all of my summer homework (I've recently had Chinese added onto my seemingly never-ending pile).

Now, for all those who haven't reviewed… do so!

Artemis: How dare you make me inferior to Ivy in your story!

AmethystNox: I haven't made you inferior, just equal.

Artemis: It's either superior or inferior in my book – there is no in-between.

Ivy: Ignore the egotistical one. He's still annoying that I beat him in the Chemistry test last term ;)

AmethystNox: Quite right, Ivy, I am _very_ glad that I decided to invent you now.

Artemis: (Moans) I cannot believe that all the girls are ganging up on me… just review, and make Nox end this story soon – I'll be left in peace after that!

AmethystNox: He does have a point, people… REVIEW!


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19 – In which it is revealed to the gaping public that Root is, in fact, very much alive.**

"_You're not alive!"_

_Welcoming. Real welcoming._

Root's grin morphed into its usual form, which was a relief for all those present. After all, being informed that your mind had been wiped and one of the only remotely human people within the company had been taken into another dimension was bad enough.

"Well, I don't feel dead yet, and why is it that everyone who sees me now automatically say that I am not alive?" Demanded Root, only to be stared at more by Vinyaya. It wasn't everyday that your old crush turned up from the dead, after all.

"Maybe because we already _buried_ you about three _months_ ago? Maybe _that_ was the _reason_?" Demanded the Wing Commander, jabbing her finger at Root for every emphasised word.

The former commander took an unconscious step back for each jab made, despite being the legendary Commander Julius Root, who could stare down a troll if he felt like it.

Then again, if he _did_ feel like it, his officers would probably have to check him into the Haven insane ward – only those who are insane would try to have a staring match with a troll. Although having a staring match with Vinyaya came very, very close to just that.

"Now come on, Vinyaya, all I did was have a few months up on the surface, you can't exactly blame me…"

The argument that followed made by the petite, delicate looking elf who could give Holly a match in core diving was immense. All the occupants of the room, having full access to speaking Gnommish, were shocked and rather impressed by the long flow of swear words that came pouring out of that mouth. Artemis immediately started to time the entire incident, _a hundred and twenty-three, a hundred and twenty-four…_

He had reached two hundred and ninety-eight by the time Foaly thought that enough was enough, and once again, for the second time that day, stepped between two significantly smaller beings using his flank as a block. It was, once again, quite effective.

And painful to boot.

"Okay, this is _not_ the time to start fighting, okay? And no verbal abuse, either. What we need to focus on right now is…"

The centaur was cut short by a sudden head butt from Vinyaya, leaving the LEP consultant gasping for breath. This was _not_ how things were meant to go…

Of course, if you knew Root, this was about as emotional as anyone was going to get. Hysterics, hugging and tears were rarely on the ex-commander's schedule, but he was willing to forego the timetable this once.

The reunion would have been a lot more effective… if the ceiling hadn't started to crumble at that moment.

"Everyone, get under a table!" Vinyaya yelled, diving head-first under the large Council conference table. After casting some nervous looks towards the ceiling, the room's other occupants scrambled under some sort of cover as well.

Which was just as well, seeing as that moment was when a piece of the ornate ceiling design decided that it liked the floor better than the ceiling and promptly smashed onto the floor.

With not an insignificant loud crashing sound.

Vinyaya shakily explained that this had been happening for quite a while now, and the only places not affected across Haven were the places with stability bearings, Foaly's latest (and so far private) patent.

Which also meant that the Ops Booth was the only building not shaking to its foundations.

"There's been an emergency evacuation announced, but then we all got replies from various people claiming that it was just a quickie, like all the others." Seeing Artemis's confused look, the fairy wing commander explained, "A 'quickie' is a slight disturbance from the surface, causing…"

No further explanation was needed. Action was what mattered right now, and nothing else. Root crossed the room on his hands and knees, reaching the cabinet and pulling out a drawer with 'R-U' on it. Dragging the entire thing over to the make-shift shelter of the Council conference table, flicking through the documents.

"Okay, Vinyaya, there is no time for any kind of hysterics right now, because we are in a crisis situation right now. Later on, I will fill you in on all of the interesting little things like how I'm alive and so on, but not right now. Right now, I need you to make me alive again."

A speculative look clouded the Wing Commander's face, "Er… do you mean that like last time or do you mean it…"

Root's face got hotter as the gazes, most of them sceptical, more than one of them mocking him, turned upon him. He managed to get a spluttered, 'No!' out, and then returned to spluttering.

Foaly smirked,

"Ah, so that was who you were writing so many poems to…"

"That is not the point right now, Foaly!" Root yelled, suddenly glad that in all the confusion nobody could quite make out his face colour. He had a nasty feeling that a faint pink had come in and replaced his usual hue. "The point is to get me legally alive again, kick out Sool, and reinstate me as Commander!"

Vinyaya and Foaly looked at Root, then at Trouble, then at each other. Shrugging, they separated the two fairies, and proceeded with a story that was best summed up by these words:

"Trouble, you're going to be the second officer to be promoted and demoted in under a day."

The first, you ask? Where have you been living, under a stone?

Root's reaction was, of course, predictable. Even Artemis, for all that he had only known Root for under six years compared to Vinyaya's six decades, tried to protect his ears as Root's yell rivalled that of the earthquake's rumbles up above,

"WHAT!"

It would almost have been comical, if only that yell hadn't dislodged another piece of the ceiling.

"You do, in fact, owe us all an explanation for the ritual you just performed." Artemis drawled, determined to beat this new girl. How she managed to have a tongue so sharp was beyond his understanding.

"No, in fact, I do not." Smirked Ivy, her back still straight as ever, despite the comatose state, "I reason this, because I think that you've already worked out who I am, and where I want to go."

Fowl shrugged. Genius was a burden.

"Naturally, Kestrel, naturally. After all, I would be a poor analyst if I could not read even _you_."

Ivy suppressed the overwhelming desire to roll her eyes, then punch this arrogant teenager. Was this how Artemis would have turned out, had he never had the influence of the People in the first place?

Ivy then turned to the next important matter at hand, "Where is Mother, Duke Kestrel?"

The duke was taken aback by the cold, hard indifference in the girl's voice. It was as if she did not allow herself to feel emotions, much like the Fowl boy, the Keeper of the Balance…

Kestrel Senior sighed resignedly. This scene was not going to be pretty.

"I think that you two had better come with me, there are some things that you need to see personally."

Melissa Kestrel's heart rate was steady, and her vital statistics were normal. All in all, she was the very soul of health. However, her closed eyes and pale complexion seemed to state otherwise.

"She's been this way ever since you two appeared out of nowhere, right here in the mansion. You were showing signs of consciousness, tossing, muttering, and so forth. However, as you can see here, your mother is not showing any sign of movement, physical," Fowl motioned to the unmoving body, "or otherwise." He gestured towards the brainwave-reader, where even the dream spikes were completely flat.

Ivy nodded, then frowned. This was unusual, seeing as last time they supposedly skipped dimensions, Melissa was still conscious. According to Foaly, anyway. Then again, knowing Foaly, you couldn't really trust _everything_ he told you.

"According to a… consultant of mine, my mother was perfectly fine when she stepped through his own dimension traveller. Whether this is due to the fact that I was not part of her during the transaction this time, or not, I cannot know until someone revives her."

"Was that an indirect request, or a hint?" Artemis Fowl was stepping lightly around this subject now. It was a delicate area.

"What's the difference?" Retorted the youngest Kestrel, and swept out of the room. Fowl had a sneaking suspicion that she was going to have to take a rather unorthodox method of exiting the building. Unless she found a way of getting past five regular patrols without being seen and dragged kicking and screaming back into the mansion.

And, as always, he was correct.

_I know that I'm giving Fowl satisfaction, and I don't care. I need the fresh air, _thought Ivy, dangling from a tree branch before swinging herself onto it. _And I also need to acquaint myself with the element's representatives around here… maybe they can help me get back._

Opening a small door that she had constructed in the walls that she had erected against her mother, she invited in the elements into her mind.

Once again, the sensations of freedom, burning, electricity, wholeness and indifference flooded her and threatened to overwhelm her. _I am in control… I am the one who is planted firmly on this world…_ she decided to ignore the fact that she was _also_ flesh and bone, and definitely more breakable than any of the elements.

**Why dost thou call us, Chosen one of Water?**

Artemis was still pondering whether or not to start damaging the ex-commander's mind, although there wouldn't have been too much difference, not with the number of beings, human and non-human, holding the old veteran down.

"What's so bad about Trouble being the commander, Julius?" Yelled Mulch, causing another tile to come smashing down, "It's not as if you could have made a better choice…"

"THAT IS NOT WHAT IS SO BAD! What is so bad is that I don't actually want to make him step down!" _At least his complexion has gone down to ruddy and not tomato anymore,_ thanked Artemis, restraining Root by the arm.

The screaming wasn't so bad, right up until Kelp offered to step down for Root. Then the old commander lost it completely. Shouting some rather obscure things that raised the question of the differences between boys and girls, Artemis promised himself not to be tempted to look these up in the Book. That would not be the wisest thing ever to do. Especially since Butler could also read it, if not speak it.

Root took control over himself again. Which, all things taken into account, was still not that considerate.

"I refuse to let Kelp step down. I don't care, as long as he doesn't make me…" Here, the meaning was so obscure, that even Artemis was unable to make out what they were saying. In fact, if I tried to translate the following text would be slightly obscure, and you may just misunderstand the entire situation.

Frond knows that Artemis misunderstood. It's a culture thing, trust me.

And that was when Vinyaya dropped the second bombshell of the day (figuratively speaking, of course)…

"Er… Julius…"

"What?" Asked Root, his eyes shining, from excitement or tears, no one could tell (and no one dared to ask, either). Vinyaya backed away slightly, causing Root to narrow his eyes suspiciously, "Is there something else that you've all neglected to tell me?"

"Oh, not much, just that… seeing as you're now alive, and as soon as that's officiated…"

"Yes, come on, spit it out…"

"Well, it means that you are, technically, in the running for a Council seat again…"

Artemis and Holly looked at each other for a few seconds, then counted under their breaths, _three, two, one…_

"Holy FROND!"

Another piece of the ceiling crashed down.

A/N: Ah! My computer is refusing to let me break properly, so I am being forced to use underlined spaces (I hate doing that...)

Anyway... read and review, people, it's not that much of an effort. One or two words - very good, good, bad or worse?

Purple button... PRESS!


	20. Chapter 20

Right, this is pretty much the last chapter you can expect for a while that makes any kind of coherent sense, because I am writing all of these things right after I complete an essay of some sort (I've lost count of how many I've had to do within the last two and a half weeks...)

Eoin Colfer owns (most of) this. I don't. End of story.

**Chapter 20 – In which some things get a little clearer… for Ivy, at any rate**.

Ivy, as imperturbable as she usually was, stood there shocked into stone. She had been greeted by the elements on several occasions in the past, usually telling her to control herself and to stop calling on them as confidants and so forth.

This, however, was the first time she had been given an _identity_ in front of the elements.

"What did you just call me?"

A look passed between the beings in front of her. Rolling her eyes in understanding and mockery, she reverted to a more archaic speech.

"Why dost thou give me this title?" _Idiotic, unnecessary, and so tedious to get through._ Silently, Ivy scrolled through every single insulting speech she could think of about this archaic speech, keeping them quiet enough so that the elements couldn't pick it up.

**Dost thou not know of your birthright?**

Ivy suppressed the urge to yell out, 'If I did know, then why would I be asking you?'

"Indeed not. Please, fill me in." If they were going to be stiff and direct, then she was going to be as 'Hollyish' as possible. Her former caretaker and present friend had recommended this method to deal with people who were taking forever to get to the point. Being direct usually irritated these people.

**Not many have thy gift, young Kestrel.** The blue figure, Water, echoed with this announcement. **Not many would have thy audacity, either.**

**She is unique, as are all of our Chosen Ones, Sibling. We chose them for their talents, not their attitudes.** Fire may not have liked her, but at that moment, Fire was probably Ivy's favourite element. At least Fire had stopped with the stupid, Shakespearean speeches.

"Look, what this meeting is about is not what you're calling me. What I need to know is how I'm going to get back."

Everyone looked puzzled by this. Although Ivy wasn't that sure – after all, their faces were the very pictures of implacability, and their emotions were depicted with the slightest twitches that were almost unnoticeable, unless you'd known these beings since you were old enough to talk.

**Why dost thou want to go back? Methinks that thine parents are in this reality, not the other one.** Apparently, Water was not the best to understand human relationships.

"I need to keep Haven from collapsing! I've got friends there, and besides, I need to finish off my education!"

She crossed her fingers behind her back – it would do the elements no harm to have a little lie told to them. She could have completed her education here, but looking around, it didn't seem as if the prejudices of several hundred years ago had faded yet.

Which would mean that women weren't allowed to inherit. Which would mean a marriage as soon as possible…

She had to get back.

**Thou hast a duty here, Kestrel. Thou needs to complete it as soon as possible, though we shalt allow you help along the way. However, none else may cross the borders, unless they have been Chosen.**

The figures started to fade, although Earth gave one final comment.

**As thou wouldst say, deal with it.**

* * *

In Haven, the earthquake had eased itself slightly, giving the occupants of the fairy city breathing space. Artemis crawled out from under the rubble, questioning his sanity. After all, without Butler there to protect him, what chance did he stand against any sort of disaster, especially supernatural ones?

The occupants of the room poked their heads cautiously from under the desk, Artemis with considerably more difficulty than anyone else. After all, growing past the fairy average made it hard for him to bare stay under the desk without one of his limbs sticking out.

For some reason, he was too attached to his limbs to consider sacrificing them for the sake of comfort.

Drawing his mind to the situation at hand, he asked Kelp,

"Commander Kelp, is it? Good, then we have at least one firm authority here. I need authorisation for some rather unorthodox actions, and I am sure that you can influence the decision."

Foaly, struggling to get back onto his hooves, stopped to look sceptically at the human teenager,

"Since when do you ask for permission to do something to exploit the People, Fowl?"

"Since I need one of your… historical treasures to do this." Artemis tried to smile, but his heart wasn't in it, "I may be a criminal mastermind, but that is not an excuse for me to act discourteously."

The room's fairy occupants looked at each other with raised eyebrows. Artemis understood the implication of the look, but decided to ignore it. Time was, once again, against them.

"I just need brief access to the elements, and for that I need to Frond Necklace. According to your Book, it was a gift to the family of Frond from Earth, binding all fairies to the Earth, therefore giving the explanation of the Ritual. I need contact with Earth, or any element."

Now, everyone took a few paces away from him, as if he were a bio-bomb. This, of course, sparked Fowl's anger.

"Is it such an unfathomable idea that you must all assume that I am insane?" He inquired, his voice going back to the soft, clipped voice of over two years ago at his first encounter with the fairies. Everyone shuddered from that cold, detached voice, unconsciously taking a step back from the pale teenager.

Artemis, seeing that intimidation just wasn't going to get him anywhere, changed his tactic. Putting on his best puppy-dog expression, he pleaded,

"Please, I know that this sounds silly, but I also know that it will work. Ivy has been in the presence of the elements before, and Earth knows her. I just need to summon Earth!"

Everyone gave him incredulous looks at this, but Holly was the only one with enough courage to speak out,

"Fowl, it's not a matter of 'just' summoning Earth. There are rituals, incantations…you need to be a priest, for one thing, and with your disposition on wealth, I don't think that you could be one."

Artemis recognised the rebuke, and had to force himself not to swell up in outrage. Taking some deep, calming breaths, he motioned for Holly to carry on – when you were the tallest person in the group, people tended to look up at you. In both senses of the phrase.

"And then there's the problem of there not being a Chosen One of the Elements for over five centuries…"

Artemis frowned slightly at this terminology. A Chosen One of the Elements? What did that mean?

"…plus, nobody even knows if all that stuff in the Book about these things are even true – no one has ever seen an element and lived…"

Artemis mouthed these words, _no one has ever seen an element and lived…_

In his head, dots started to join themselves up. In his mind's eye, he was able to see the ideas flashing, memories, subtle hints…

"I have."

* * *

On the way back to the house (although it was more of a castle than anything else), Ivy pondered on the events that had just taken place. Evidently, she wasn't going anywhere, not until something in this plane was taken care of. The problem now, of course, was that she had no idea whatsoever what this particular _thing_ was.

She was running through a list of what the subjects were, stopping at intervals to mark the place she stood so that she would be able to find her way out unseen if she really needed it.

It was a trick that she had been taught by Water – concealment from unfriendly eyes, mirage against the important ones who would keep you away from your freedom. _Unfortunately_, Ivy thought, _this thing doesn't work on the beings who invented it in the first place._

With no warning at all, a smooth, cool hand pressed itself against her mouth, swinging her out of the light and into the shadows. Panicking, and unsure of the person's intentions, Ivy attacked her holder, and gaining very little success against the strong and considerably taller person who had caught her.

"Stop wriggling, Kestrel, and give me the evidence that I can unhand you without you yelling for half of the palace guard!" Hissed a familiar voice. Ivy froze immediately, and slowly nodded to her captor.

Artemis Fowl (the one from this reality, Ivy reminded herself) removed his hand and rubbed his shin where Ivy had kicked him. He winced slightly,

"You hit hard, for someone your size."

Refusing to take part in the vocal repartee, Ivy demanded an answer. She was promised one, but only if she would follow him into the deeper depths of the castle.

"It's not lit, so you'd better have no fear of the dark, and I cannot guarantee your safety either. However, we both share a common goal."

Ivy frowned slightly – a common goal? They had barely known each other for over two hours, and this pale adolescent who was Artemis before he had the People's influence, was talking about common _goals_?

Artemis silenced her cynicism within a few seconds, with just four words:

"You must go back."

It was unusual for Ivy to be surprised. It was even more unusual for her to ask what they were talking about. However, that was exactly what happened to her within that one instant.

Nonetheless, it was still Fowl's next statement that shocked her the most.

"And you must take me with you."

* * *

"I can't explain it right now, Holly, but somehow Kestrel is more linked to the elements that just being able to command them. It's a much more personal relationship, from what I've seen. One of the figures… in fact, _two_ of the figures even called her their child…"

This raised some eyebrows, especially amongst the elves. They, in particular, were linked to all of the elements, but mainly to Earth, just like the humans. Holly and Trouble both knew about Kestrel's unique heritage, being a hybrid (both of the People shuddered in disgust – was this what the other world had come to?), but they had never imagined that Ivy had any other connection with the elements.

Unless…

"Fowl, how many of our legends have you read, from the Book, I mean." Holly was tentative at this subject – it was unlikely that he had, and if he hadn't, then he was a sceptic.

"The legends?" The pale face twisted into incredulity, "The stories of a story? I believed in the People, Holly, but believing in the _People_, so to speak, of the fairies, is something that even I will not go to."

Holly and Trouble looked at one another, and nodded. Holly reached inside her shirt for her Book.

"You'd better start believing then, Fowl, otherwise Ivy's not going to have much of a chance of surviving, personal relationship with the elements or not."

A/N: Okay people, you know the drill - press the purple button, then write reviews! Remember, this is my GCSE year, plus two AS levels that I am studying for :(, so don't get too disappointed when I abandon this story for months on end (oops... I already do that, don't I?)

REVIEW!


	21. Chapter 21

Yes! I am not dead! Half term has allowed me to try and type up one (sorry this is a bit rushed... I was trying to do my Chem at the same time sheepish grin)

Anyway, hope you appreciate this chapter!

Disclaimer: You know what this is going to say - anything you recognise is not mine. It's Colfer's. Like my friends say: Deal.

**Chapter 21 – In which we all find out about some very meddlesome upper powers**

Ivy was shocked at two things. The first and foremost was that she was actually shocked. The second was the story that was being unravelled in front of her. All of the knots in her life, in Artemis's life… they were becoming unfurled for the first time.

"The Balance was changing in the direction of the Dark once again, and it became a necessity for stronger, better Chosen Ones of the Elements, and a stronger Keeper of the Balance for the realities."

"You just told me that the titles were handed down from generation to generation, and now it comes as a _necessity_? Make up your mind, Fowl." Ivy snapped, still grumpy of her own surprise.

"No need to be so snappish, Kestrel. There's a first time for everything, even a Chosen One of Water being surprised at something." Here, the pale boy smirked, sparking more anger within Ivy – the nerve of some people, especially when one was feeling especially annoyed!

"The fact was, Kestrel, that the line was dwindling. The elements aren't above corruption, just like humans, seeing as they've interwoven themselves so deeply amongst us. They were so obsessed with keeping the lines pure that the powers were starting to dwindle."

"Explain something, Fowl." Frowned Ivy, puzzling over what the alternate Artemis had just said to her, "If the bloodline was so pure, why weren't the powers becoming stronger?"

Artemis sighed, seeing that a straightforward story just wasn't going to succeed in gaining this strange girl's trust. "What would it take to convince you that what I am talking about is correct?"

Blue met green in the tranquillity of the darkness, two burning flames trying to outshine the other. Neither would break before the other, but in this situation, someone had to bend…

"Children, please, must you have a battle of the wills _now_ of all times?" Asked a world-weary voice. Ivy jumped, but Fowl just smiled indulgently, "I'd prefer if I could have my wife back sometime or another in the near future, and it would be nice to know my daughter a little better than I do right now."

Ivy coloured slightly, suddenly glad of the dim lighting. She hadn't blushed in over two years now, and yet there was something in this reality that was making her feel giddy. She should have suspected something right away, but the pressure in the room…

"Why is it so pressurised in here?" She asked, not caring whether or not she was being rather rude, "I feel as if my head is being squashed like an overripe tomato."

"Charming imagery, Kestrel." Smirked Fowl, although his eyes seemed as it he was simply indulging a spoilt child, "I hope that you will grace us with more of those glorious images later on."

And, although every fibre of her being screamed against such a childish act, she stuck her tongue out at the offending adolescent. And then, the unthinkable happened.

Artemis Fowl, or at least, his alternative, broke from a smirk into a full-blown grin. For a moment, Ivy was curious as to how he was able to arrange his facial features in such a way, when Duke Kestrel, who admittedly was her father, scolded Fowl.

"Artemis, I thought we were under the agreement that we would break this to her gently. I doubt that the other side of you would have grinned as you are right now. You've given away half of the plot already."

The world-weary voice rendered Ivy's heart so violently that she had to remind herself that it was ridiculous for her to be worried about him. After all, he was a fairy, and he was probably going to outlive even her, despite their difference in age.

"And please, Ivy, if you're going to insult me in your thoughts, try to keep them down? They are quite deafening, you know."

Ivy did a double take. So this was why her mother was so worried about her powers… it didn't come from either of her parents, it came from somewhere else.

"Well done, Ivy. My powers lie more in the direction of the picking up of thoughts rather than any of the traditional powers. Indeed, it should also be in you, seeing as this sharing of minds seems to be a family trait."

"I suppose so…" Frowned Ivy. It was true, after all. As long as the person in question was thick enough, she could usually take one look at them and absorb the information that they lay out like chalk on a blank slate.

Although, she had always thrown this talent under the category of 'you can do it. Deal.' And never really bothered to find out much about it. Of course, this wasn't exactly what she would usually do.

"Of course, your mother never did like that small antic of mine." Duke Kestrel's emerald eyes started to cloud over as he relived a memory, "I remember once she was upset that the entire household had not noticed her for an entire thirty minutes, apart from me, and then I told her it was because they were throwing a surprise birthday party for her."

"Wouldn't that sort of ruin the surprise, though?" Ivy inquired, curious as to the nature of the conclusion.

"Oh, of course not. She immediately screamed half the castle down, brought everyone running and fussing over her, and the birthday party was completely forgotten." He thought for a moment, "I got grounded as well."

Evidently, the alternate Artemis had not heard of this story either.

"Okay."

Here, the conversation halted. There wasn't much to say, not after so many years of not knowing each other. However, after about a minute, and some serious thinking, Ivy's green eyes met Artemis's blue ones.

"Tell me everything."

* * *

"Chosen Ones? Why does this sound more archaic than anything else?" Frowned Artemis, "And what does it mean by the 'Gifts of the Elements'?"

"So… you haven't noticed anything different about your girlfriend?" Asked Foaly, trying his hardest to get the adolescent to admit that his observation skills were starting to wane.

"Well, of course Ivy has some _special_ capabilities, that I shall concede to, but she has, in fact, explained it all to me. From where she comes from, the powers have been concentrated into one being, and she is just…"

Here, the abrupt poking at his stomach interrupted him. Glancing down, he gave Holly his attention. "Yes, Holly? What is it? And calling my name would have helped, without the poking, thank you."

A cheeky grin flashed from the female elf's face, "The poking is a bonus, not a necessity, Fowl. And besides, since when did you ever see any of the People managing to shoot fireballs out of their hands when they're really angry?"

Artemis froze mid-sentence as the full extent of those words hit him. Then he realised that he had just cut off one of his own sentences, and immediately snapped his mouth shut again. Artemis Fowl did _not_ leave sentences unfinished like an average child!

"Indeed, I have not seen this power demonstrated, and nor have I heard of these powers from your Book." Replied Artemis, trying to sew together the tatters of his dignity, ignoring the centaur's sniggering and whinny.

"Exactly, Fowl. She has those powers because the elements deemed her suitable to have them. And the 'Gifts' are just that. Gifts."

Artemis gave her a flat, unfriendly stare, "Details, Holly, I like _details_. What kind of gifts is the Book talking about?"

"What else is special about Ivy, Artemis? You know, the more obvious defect?" Asked Holly, rolling her eyes at how this genius could figure out how to cheat the time stop, and how to escape the mind-wipe, but could not figure out this simple puzzle instantly.

"Ivy has no defects, as far as I can make out…" Artemis frowned, trying to think of anything unusual about Kestrel.

Holly glanced at Trouble, her hazel eyes beseeching help. Trouble smiled, shrugged, and pulled back his fist. Before anyone had the time to react, he had brought it to the human's nose.

"Ow!" Commented Artemis, rather loudly and with much complaint. Blood started to trickle away from his nose. "What was that for?"

"For being young and in love. Oh, and did I mention for starting to daydream in the middle of proceedings?" The problem with fairies, and especially fairies from the Kelp family, was that they couldn't recognise a warning even if it walked in front of them with a Softnose laser gun and started to shoot them.

"It was a warning, my dear Major… ah, excuse my slip of tongue, _Commander_ Kelp. I was rather expecting an apology than anything else. Anyway, I was _not_ daydreaming; I was trying to remember if Ivy ever showed any signs of having any defections."

Root gave him a frank look that spoke volumes. "Fowl, if you're thinking about Kestrel as a perfect person, then you have A) hit the target and B) just contradicted yourself. Thinking that a girl is perfect is the same as daydreaming about her."

"Since when did you decide that?" Asked Artemis, chagrined at not spotting that simple mistake. "And in what way have I hit the target?"

"Artemis, listen to me. How many people do you know can do the things that Ivy can? As in, all rolled into one package?"

The young Fowl heir froze, and stood to contemplate this, his eyes flashing slightly. He blinked. And he blinked again. It was starting to piece together.

"So Ivy has the ability to absorb talents, from all around, and put it into her body?" Fowl frowned again, doing some biological analysis in his head, "That's not humanly possible, though."

"Why did you assume that Ivy was human in the first place, Fowl?" Asked Holly. Her hazel eyes were blazing, and Artemis was sure that if looks could kill, then he would be dead. "Fairies have a much more space in their heads than humans. We use about seventy percent of our brain power, and so we have much more space to store things."

For about the fifth time in his life, the young Fowl heir was struck speechless, and could do nothing about it. He really did have to work on that database of witty remarks for all occasions, just to avoid any more embarrassing moments like this.

* * *

"Alright then, Kestrel, listen carefully because I'm not going to be repeating myself for you. The bloodlines were starting to weaken because the power from some bloodlines was beginning to cancel out the powers from others. It was getting to the stage where they could hardly conjure a slight breeze, never mind a hurricane!

Anyway, after a while, the Balance also started being affected. And that called for another Keeper of the Balance, which would be me. A Keeper must make the decisions of how a destiny turns out, and how a story ends, happy or not. There are always good reasons for sad endings, and good reasons for good endings as well. Of course, having this kind of control over destinies is not something you hand over to a simpleton, so the Balance concluded that I was going to have to have some kind of intellectual advantage over others.

The elements knew that I was coming once again, and they didn't like the fact that I was going to be born with unfair advantages – my powers and my brainpower, you understand. So they managed to do something to me. However, as soon as they did this, their Chosen Ones were immediately obliterated, and they realised that they should have thought this through more carefully. The Balance does not like meddling, and the Balance had just about had enough of the element's meddling. Unfortunately, there was no way of tracking me down."

"Okay, Artemis Fowl, just tell me what he managed to do. I can tell that you're just desperate for me to ask 'What happened?'" Grunted Ivy, not very happy with this Artemis's melodramatic flair – it disturbed her, no matter how much she would have preferred not to be.

"They managed to split me in two. One side with the powers of the Keeper, and the other with the cleverness to manipulate an entire reality."

Ivy's jaw dropped. You could almost hear the bone as it contacted the floor, and her green eyes were wider than they had ever been before. So that would mean…

"Yes, my dear Kestrel." The blue eyes bore into her, piercing into her soul, "That's why I need to go with you. Unless I combine once again into my whole self, I cannot gain my rightful powers, and nor are the realities safe from my decisions. I have to go with you."

A/N: And there you have it! Another chapter done, and proof that this thing is no longer on hiatus, thank goodness.

Anyway, review! Press the purple button (tries her hardest to stare at readers with the mesmer)


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22 – In which Piccolo and Cat reveal their true purpose**

"Okay, so right now, I need to find out how to get back to another reality. And how to get another person over as well. And then get Artemis to believe all this. And then, somehow, I'm going to make everything the way it was meant to go." Ivy tried taking deep, calming breaths, only to find that it wasn't working.

"Reviving your mother might be a good idea as well." Duke Kestrel said none too subtly, "Also, you may want to think about…"

However, what the Duke was going to say will be lost to us forever, as Ivy chose this time to fall into a dead faint. Artemis walked up to the girl, and tapped her politely. After concluding that she was out cold, and had no chance of waking up anytime soon, he turned to his guardian and commented,

"I think that we have just done what the Book has deemed impossible. We have just overloaded the Chosen One of Water's 'things-to-do' list."

Artemis Fowl, heir to the Fowl fortune, and criminal mastermind, although some people were of the opinion that he should put more effort into growing a beard instead, was about to bang his head on the cave walls for inspiration. They were getting nowhere, especially since he was still distrustful of this story. So what if Kestrel was able to do many things? It didn't mean that she was a supernatural being, it just meant she was a Jack-'o'-all-trades! And he needed fresh air sometime or other, because the pressure was starting to make him think in exclamation marks!

"Holly, even if Ivy had these powers through a third party, and not through inheritance, then how do you propose to find her? As far as I am aware of, Foaly has shut down whatever reality holiday maker there was, and Spiro is in no shape to even get out of the hospital bed yet, let alone do anything else."

Holly smirked, and turned around smartly on her heels, saluting Trouble, "Commander, sir! Permission to take a vehicle to the surface, sir!"

"Permission granted, Holly, but seriously, you're not employed by the LEP anymore, you do know that, right?"

"Of course, but it doesn't hurt to be nice and make you give me the keys, does it?" Replied Holly glibly, smirking her own version of Artemis Fowl's infamous smirk. The fact that a diminutive elf was smirking amplified the effects, and immediately, all the occupants in the room backed away slightly.

"Okay, I did _not_ teach her to do that in the Academy. How have you corrupted her, Fowl?" Yelled Vinyaya, proving that she had just as much talent for histrionics as Root. Everyone winced; all wondering whether or not having a loud voice was compulsory in becoming a leading officer, or whether it was just that Vinyaya and Root came from that era.

Artemis sighed, wondering how he managed to get himself into such a mess. Answering his own question, he muttered, "Probably with very little effort, considering the company I'm in."

Foaly stared at the Mud Adolescent with open suspicion, and asked, "You do know that talking to yourself is the human's first sign of madness."

"What's the People's first sign of madness?"

"Walking into troll territory with a barbecued stinkworm curry in your pocket."

"Sorry I asked."

**Ireland**

Artemis was even sorrier, however, when he made the decision to go and pick up the bodyguards. Butler was livid that his charge had, once again, managed to risk his life. Although, if Butler was livid, then the word strong enough to describe Nubi was either censored, or hadn't been invented yet.

"Let me get this straight, Fowl. You know about Spiro." Artemis nodded, sheltering behind Butler whilst Nubi was trying to reach him in order to strangle him, "And you knew that he had the resources to get to Ivy. And you knew that Melissa was in the same city. And you have the highest IQ in all of Europe. WHAT KIND OF GENIUS DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?"

Artemis winced, wishing that he still had no conscience, and nodded an affirmative. His vocal chords had shorted out, and a new emotion was choking him so much that he could hardly put a name to it. Although, from his father's vivid descriptions of this emotion, he knew in his heart what it was.

For a rare moment in his life, Artemis was feeling shame.

"Look, Holly thinks she knows…"

"Think I know? I _know_ I know!" Interrupted the tiny elf, her crew cut spiking up now that her helmet had been removed. She ignored the sharp look she received from Artemis, and carried on, "There's a place here on Earth where we found Melissa and Ivy, although she wasn't actually born yet, and there's a breach there. We couldn't do anything to shut it down, so we had to appoint a few people to guard over it. You know, just to prevent anyone falling into that breach and ending up in another world."

Butler frowned, his brow furrowing, the faint wrinkles showing up again. "This means that we've got another adventure on our hands, doesn't it?"

Artemis was startled. Did Butler, the ever-infallible bodyguard, just get a glint in his eyes that signified _enjoyment?_

"Butler, I never knew that you enjoyed these 'adventures' as you call them." He smirked, thinking that payback was in order, "I thought that you were over the wildcard side of your nature."

To which the faithful manservant had nothing to say but a blush.

* * *

When Ivy came to, she was surrounded by light that she swore was unnatural, even by electronic standards. She winced as she forced her eyes open to see what was going on.

Of course, what she didn't know (but what you're about to) was that she wasn't really awake. However, it was only during this time when the Elements were able to access her without her actually consciously summoning them. Plus, it was the only way of getting a private conversation.

**Ivy Kestrel, now that thou knowest what thou must do, thou must fulfil it. Dost thou understand?**

"No, in fact, I don't understand. Not fully, at any rate. Please, explain this to me fully."

She received a look that obviously said, 'Do not try to mess with us'. She ignored it, and pressed on, determined to get her way.

"Look, all I know right now is a rather garbled version. I know that you didn't want Artemis coming into power. Then your so-called 'Chosen Ones' were all blasted into non-existence by this 'Balance' that keeps on coming up. Then you decide that you want Artemis re-assembled, so to speak. Why didn't you just transport Artemis back and re-combine him?"

She winced at the neologisms used in her ramble. Oh, the humiliation if this speech ever got into the hands of one Artemis Fowl…

**There were, and still are, rules that even we must abide by.**

"If you did it once, why couldn't you do it again? And _must _you speak in that archaic tone of voice?"

It was the unnatural light, Lightning, that spoke this time.

**Point taken, Kestrel. Alright, you want the plain truth? You've got the plain truth. To speak quite candidly…**

Here, all of the elements seemed reluctant to reveal anything. It was as if this were another delaying tactic, something to keep her from knowing the truth…

"Look, if you're too embarrassed to say it, fine. Just bear in mind that I won't be taking the blame when I go back without Fowl's other half…" _If I go back at all…_she thought with a momentary sense of panic, which was quickly squashed.

**No, you are right, Ivy. You've got to know this to understand. The reason why we didn't simply solve this ourselves was because we cannot make humans, or fairies, travel through the realities. Ourselves, and only ourselves, it is plausible. However…**

"I see." Ivy frowned, finishing the imaginary join the dots game, forming the entire picture, "So the only reason you could get half of Artemis over to the other side was because Artemis's powers enable him to take himself and other humans across to other realities. And the reason why humans and fairies cannot do so with you… is because they are no longer properly part of you?"

A slight nod. It was good enough, as far as Ivy was concerned.

"Okay, so all I've got to do is get you to help me across, whilst in contact with Artemis. Simple enough, right?"

**Not really. There is a slight complication.**

"What's that? Why are you looking awkward? I'm not going to like this, am I?"

**Foaly the centaur found the vortex quite by accident, and tried to harness it. I'm sure you've heard of the story. Unfortunately, the LEP also heard of it, and the gnome that you know as Ark Sool commissioned it as the way of disposing criminals.**

"And… what's the problem?"

**As you humans may know it, (**here, Ivy could have sworn that Lightning looked sheepish, if that were even possible for it) **there is a pipe blockage. There are several fairies stuck there, and you need to either get them through, or eject them.**

"So? Just tell me how, and that problem is done and dusted. Another human phrase for you to study."

**Not as simple as that, I'm afraid. Sool is in that tube, and he's very, very angry.**

"Angry? That's the best word you can use to describe him right now? And _Sool_ is in there? Didn't you just tell me it was him who had everyone who was found to break the fairy law thrown in?"

A slight inclination of the head. _Wow, talk about poetic justice…_

* * *

Artemis Fowl had lost count how many times he had lost the plot during the last 24 hours. In fact, he didn't even want to be conscious anymore, just to avoid further humiliation. Woe to the person who told this to one called Ivy Kestrel.

He was back in Chicago, and he was back to the gang base. And, unfortunately, back in front of Cat. She was giving him the evils, and it was quite evident that, in her mind, it was all his fault that one of her best friends had been sucked into another dimension.

Holly, tactfully, was careful to keep the two separate. Inserting herself between the fuming teenage girl and the terrified teenage boy, she looked into Piccolo's vague eyes and said,

"The Mud Boy knows about the People, and he knows about Ivy. It's safe to talk about It in front of him."

The way that Holly had pronounced 'It' gave the impression of 'It' with a capital 'I'. Artemis's curiosity immediately got the better of him, and he gave in. Willingly.

"What is this that you are referring to as 'It'?"

Glares were sent his way, and suddenly he decided that it was probably better for his health that he kept away from these dangerous questions.

"So you need us to pilot?" Asked Piccolo, his voice dry, and crackling like the autumn leaves.

"Yeah, that would be wonderful… I still don't get a lot of the technology that you fitted into the ships. They're so…"

"…far behind that you don't know how to handle them." Chanted Piccolo and Cat, their eyes rolling.

Artemis, however, was not in the mood for this. "You're making me get into the same craft as _her_?" He gestured at Cat. A gentleman never points. "Are you made, Holly? You saw how she was looking at me! Unless she stays here, I'm not going."

"And unless both of us go, we'll never make it out of there alive." Cat mocked, her voice verging onto a sneer, "Fowl, that ship that we'll be flying needs several people to fly it. You can help Holly with the simple work, but unless you come with us, there is no way that we can rescue your girlfriend from the other reality."

Artemis scowled, and leaned back in his chair. "Fine, I'll come, but he first sign that you try to kill me and I'll get Butler here…"

"No. The big man has to stay here. He's too heavy for this kind of flying." Holly informed Artemis, regret plastered all over her face. "Someone has to do the maintenance."

Artemis ran out of excuses, for once in his life. His brain, obviously being affected by the effects of hormones, refused to work anymore. "Fine. I'll come. As soon as you tell me who _they_ are."

"Oh, Cat and Piccolo? They're the ones I mentioned earlier, the people who guard the rift? Yeah, they're them."

Artemis could do nothing but stare in horror.

A/N: Wow! Record! Two updates in one day!

Anyway, my freedom is at an end! School is looming on the horizon, and so are GCSEs...

Read and review, people!


	23. Chapter 23

Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl. Don't rub it in, please.

Sorry this is so late! Thanks to everyone who reveiwed last time, and I hope that you still like this thing!

**Chapter 23 – In which some bumping is involved**

Ivy had long since gotten up from her overly luxurious bed and had started pacing. In her mind, she was chastising herself for pacing, saying _why am I pacing? I shouldn't be pacing…_

If she had been in any kind of rational mood to admit that she was frustrated mainly because it was the first time – literally the first time – she had ever come across a problem that she couldn't solve before. She wasn't being pompous, it was a plain fact that whatever problem she tackled, if she simply stared at it long enough, she would be able to solve it.

"That must be your Kestrel heritage, Ivy." Came a quiet voice from the doorway.

She started, and then framed a particularly waspish comment in her mind, projecting it out to her father of about three hours.

"And please, control your tongue. I know of the vulgar customs that the Mud People taught you, but please, refrain from using them in this reality, at least."

Ivy rolled her eyes, and opened the door, giving a clear invitation to step inside. She moved out of the way as the Duke strode in, and settled onto a chair.

With a swish of his cloak – no less.

"Okay, what do you want?" Ivy snapped, feeling particularly ungracious that day, "And it had better be good, otherwise you're going straight back out!"

Her father arched an eyebrow, and she mirrored it, trying to stifle the surprise that she felt when she saw how similar the action was to her own. She made a point of staring at him, hoping that he give way sooner than she would.

"Don't you think that you are just a little bit old for this kind of childish behaviour, Ivy? Or is it some more of what Melissa's been teaching you?" Sighed the Duke, inspecting his fingernails that spoke of a kind of weariness of the world that she would never be able to understand.

"Oh, you'll understand it, all right. As soon as we remove that mind-barrier of yours, you'll be bombarded with just as many thoughts as I am being pounded with right now." Retorted her father, his eyes dancing in a way that her eyes had never done before. Her eyes she may have inherited from the Kestrel side of the family. Her expressions, however, were almost definitely her mother's.

"Very true."

Finally, her patience snapped, and she resolved to speak out every single one of her…

"You'd better." Her father said solemnly, although she could…

"I can tell that you're trying your hardest to not laugh. It's not working, just as some friendly advice." Ivy snapped, her green eyes blazing.

Here, her father sighed, and came to terms with the fact that fourteen years with Melissa were never going to be good for a young, impressionable girl. Especially when she was armed with the Gift of Water.

"What Gift of Water?" Ivy asked, unaware that her father had not said this out loud. The Duke smirked, and then quickly covered it with his practiced mask of manners. It seemed that the shield was finally starting to crumble properly.

"There are always gifts that each of the elements decide to give their Chosen Ones. Unfortunately, we've only ever managed to get our hands onto two of the four Gifts, the Gift of Water and the Gift of Air."

Ivy nodded absent-mindedly, trying to shake a buzzing noise around her head. Since she had uttered the question, 'What Gift of Water?' it was as if she were drowning within a monsoon of flies, all trying to out-buzz the other.

"Don't worry about the buzzing, by the way. It'll go away once your system becomes adjusted to the number of coherent thoughts you're hearing at once."

Ivy's eyes narrowed in suspicion – she didn't need to voice that opinion for her meaning to be perfectly clear. This would have had an ominous effect, if only she didn't buckle under the weight of the buzzing after about another second or so, screaming as she toppled over, none too gracefully either.

As the world faded into darkness again (why did life have to be made of so many true clichés?) Ivy found herself thinking that this was becoming a little bit too much of a routine for her now.

* * *

Artemis was in his element, once again. Well, almost his element – he was back to being in charge, albeit also being bossed around when he got too commanding, and he was able to understand everything that was around him once again.

If only this didn't include having to haul around heavy objects.

"Why is it that every time I go on one of these ridiculous rides, I end up either being hurt or working?" He demanded to know, chucking another piece of coal into the pile, only for the fire to guzzle it up greedily.

"Simply said, Mud Boy? It's your luck." Panted Holly, following suit, determined not to be outdone by a Mud Boy, especially not _this_ particular Mud Boy.

"In that case," Muttered Artemis, lugging another piece of wood into the stove, "I need to buy some better luck."

"Luck is like happiness, Artemis, you can't buy it."

"Would you like to bet gold on that?"

Some things in life never changed.

"So why are we here shovelling fuel into this outdated garbage in the first place? Doesn't the LEP have anything better than this?"

Holly stopped feeding the monster machine fuel, and replied in a breathless voice,

"The fact that this place was created way back in the first Frond Dynasty, equivalent to your Stone Age, may have something to do with it, Fowl! The technology back then wasn't exactly top-notch LEP now, and they hadn't made it so that this tunnel was compatible with anything else."

"So we're stuck with this outdated technology until we get to the other side? Well that's great, isn't it?"

Holly chucked a piece of soft wood at Artemis's head, taking great pleasure in hearing the resounding thud as it landed on Artemis's chin.

"This is not the time to be using sarcasm! Convert that energy into hauling these logs around!"

Artemis did just that for as long as he could, but that wasn't an impressive amount of time. Although he had greatly improved his reaction times, reflexes and endurance, he did this under air-conditioned conditions. It was not meant to be put to the test under such heated conditions.

"Holly, when are we going to get to the other side?"

"We're not."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Yes, you should, shouldn't you? I still haven't completely forgiven you for that kidnapping, you know."

"Holly, that was over two years ago now…"

"To answer your question, Fowl, we're trying to get to the eye of the storm. This thing will only carry us halfway there, and it will be all we can do to get back in the same ship. When we get to the eye, you need to summon the spirit of Earth with this." She held up something that looked suspiciously like a jar of… dirt. "If you truly have seen the Earth Spirit before, then it will respond to you, as long as you follow the technicalities."

"And the jar of… dirt?"

Holly shot him a withering glance, "Fowl, we're trying to summon Earth. For that, we need a more direct piece of earth than just this hunk of metal." She gestured to the ship, "And unless you have a better idea, deal with it."

Artemis took the tiny fairy's word for it, and began to shovel wood into the greedy mouth of the engine. His cold, calculating brain began to make mathematical conclusions. At the speed they were going at, they would rip out chunks of the machine too quickly for his liking. If this could be modified slightly, replacing the outside of the ship with a stronger metal, and making slight changes in the aerodynamics of the entire thing, then they could sail relatively peacefully…

A jolt brought him back onto his feet, his head throbbing again. Rubbing it, he noticed a piece of coal lying next to him. Looking in Holly's direction, he could just about see her perfectly innocent look, and that in itself was all the clue he needed.

Deciding to ignore it, he carried on scooping fuel into the furnace, and eventually, the ship began to slow down slightly.

"Fowl! We're almost at the centre of the storm!"

"I can see that, Holly. I wasn't aware that you had been appointed the announcer of the obvious."

There was no really witty response that could be thrown back at that, but a stuck out tongue was good enough for Holly. Evidently, some things never change.

* * *

"Do you think that she's going to be alright?" A concerned voice seemed to almost drift into her consciousness. The buzzing had subdued itself.

"Of course she is. Although I've never seen the Heritage hit anyone so hard like this before…"

"You mean she's not okay!"

"No! I mean that… oh, never mind, I'm just as worried as you are, Artemis…"

Ivy cracked an eye open, trying to ignore what a tremendous effort it took to even lift an eyelid. The buzzing was getting louder again.

"Glad to know that I'm appreciated." She murmured, struggling to sit up on the bed. "So how long have I been out for?"

"Not long, considering this is your First." Answered her father, frowning slightly. "You really shouldn't be able to do that, you know."

"Do this, you mean? I don't exactly _feel_ like I can, but as you can see quite clearly, I am, so stop pondering. It really hurts."

The buzzing eased up slightly, to Ivy's relief, she looked into Artemis's eyes again, and quickly glanced away again. The fact that his eyes were the same as the _other_ Artemis's eyes was really disconcerting. Not to mention it was wreaking havoc with her emotions.

"I'm going to make a half-way educated guess and say that being the Chosen One of Water amplifies all of your natural abilities, although I'm not a hundred per cent certain how you manage to do so many things." Muttered Artemis, wringing out another cold towel, handing it to the diminutive girl. She reached out for it gratefully, and plastered it to her aching head.

"Actually, I'm placing my bets on that she absorbs the powers around her. It would make sense. Sort of." Duke Kestrel frowned slightly. It would certainly complicate matters.

"Why would it complicate this further? I've just found out I'm the Chosen One of Water, that Artemis was split into two, that he has the most powerful capabilities in the Universe…"

"In this Universe, I have to stress that. There are many other Universes that have yet to be travelled to." Artemis ventured, halting when Ivy glared at him.

"There are other parallel universes apart from this one?"

"Actually, the original Universe hasn't got any kind of magic in it. Just a lot of people with a lot of wild imaginations. That's how we came into being." The Duke cut in, his green eyes flashing, daring his daughter to challenge his authority. Suffice to say that Ivy submitted.

"Fine, okay, so I'm meant to get the two Artemis-s back together, so that… what?"

"So that I can finally put right a few things that I haven't been able to so far. I have some control over this power." Artemis demonstrated, pointing at a wilting flower, commanding it to stand up straight, "I can shift the balance in things like plants, insects, protozoan. Humans, however…"

"Artemis here has never been able to handle more than the simple aspects of human life. If the life-form is too complicated, then it is too risky to try and shift their balance in any way."

"So, basically…" Ivy frowned, hearing a small whisper in the back of her mind, "If you try to shift any sort of balance in a complicated beings, the results would be… unpleasant?"

"To say the least."

* * *

"Ouch!" Artemis's fitness training had not prepared him thoroughly enough to brace himself for the several bumps that they were hitting.

"Hey, pilot! Could you possibly miss a couple of whirlwinds… you know, just for variety's sake?" Yelled Holly, also trying to cushion her falls.

"We're nearly at the eye… as soon as we're at the eye, you're going to feel a little bit of a tug…"

Artemis dragged himself up from his almost permanent spot on the cold floor, and immediately fell back down. _This is ridiculous… I am the tactician, not the punch-bag._

"Hey, Fowl, get your lazy butt off the floor and help me with this, would you?" Holly demanded, adding a slight punch for good measure.

Then again… 

They were both thrown to the floor this time, both of them colliding a few inches away from the furnace.

"Stupid outdated hunk of junk!" Ranted Holly, kicking the side of the furnace, before gathering her wits and yelling towards the pilot, "That wasn't a gentle tug!"

Cat looked out of the pit, and frowned, "Didn't you use the straps?"

"Huh?"

"The straps, over there." She pointed at three red seats with the appropriate safety equipment. "I would have thought that the great Artemis Fowl would have thought to use them when I said 'a gentle tug.'"

The two girls turned to face a flushed Artemis, who, in his mind, was cursing whoever had decided that humans had to go through puberty. It seemed that Ivy's safety was pushing everything else out of his considerable mind. And that was quite a feat.

"Hey, Holly, there's a little problem if we want to go ahead." Cat said, coming into the cockpit.

"What problem? Foaly ran a test a couple of weeks ago, nothing was wrong."

"Yeah, but the latest criminal thrown in has caused some sort of blockage. We can't get through."

"D'Arvit!"

"Well said, although I could think of some riper words that may satisfy better." Cat drawled dryly.

"So what can we do now? I need to be on solid ground to perform that ceremony to summon the Earth's consciousness." Holly frowned, weighing the small bag she had in her suit. "I just hope that nothing in here is broken."

"Ivy…" Artemis was staring out of the window, his intense blue eyes focusing on something in the distance. His eyes clouded over.

"So this is where you are. I'll tell Ivy… we'll be there in a second."

And the human boy's eyes cleared again. His expression was one of rare contentment. He turned to the room of gaping eyes and said,

"I know what to do."

* * *

Ivy was startled to be woken up by a shaking sensation. After all, the other times when she passed out it was either her biological father or the other Artemis who was sitting there beside her. This time, however, she was being woken up by Artemis shaking her.

"Come on, you'd better get up, we're about to get going!" Artemis whispered. Ivy turned, and saw that Duke Kestrel was fast asleep.

"Sorry about knocking your dad out. You wouldn't believe how hard I had to knock on his head before he went out. He'd skin me alive if he knew what we're about to do."

"And just what are we about to do?"

A pulling sensation filled Ivy, and Artemis grabbed onto her hand. It was probably one of the worst times ever for Ivy to suddenly break out into a blush, but thankfully Artemis managed to ignore it. His blue stare penetrated into Ivy's own intense stare, and whispered,

"_This_ is what we're about to do."

And faded away.

* * *

"Okay, so how is this going to help us find Ivy?"

"Simple, something took me over and I saw Ivy, although she wasn't exactly conscious. Something came into my mind… it reawakened some part of my brain. I think I'm now using a larger percentage of …"

"Okay, okay, we'll take your word for it. Just don't try to go into the details. Just tell me, Mud Boy, is this going to work or not?"

His blue eyes were more intense than ever as he turned to face the fairy.

"Yes, Holly. This is going to work."

She nodded. That was all she really needed from Artemis to know that something was going to work. Cat, however, needed a little more persuading.

"Hey, how come you're just going to trust him like that?"

To which Artemis replied, "Hey, how come I'm trusting you to be within two metres of me?"

Holly ignored the verbal repartee between the two teenagers and focused on her task – the Earth Ritual. She poured the earth that was kept in the jar out onto the floor of the cockpit, and murmured the ancient summoning words for the spirit of Earth to come. Of course, she wasn't exactly expecting Earth to come - not when they weren't even technically on solid ground.

What came, however, was not what she expected.

"Holly! Oh Frond am I glad to see you!" Sighed a somewhat startled Ivy and a boy who couldn't be there because he was also standing behind Holly, arguing with Cat. Holly stared into those blue eyes again before she opened her mouth and, for the first time in her life, screamed out of pure fear.

"That wasn't the reception that I would have liked, but it'll do, I suppose." Commented a bemused Artemis. "Hi, I'm Artemis. Artemis Fowl."

A/N: Oh wow, I finally managed to get another chapter up! Don't expect another one until Summer though - I've got GCSEs and one AS level to tackle, and I really shouldn't be on here right now, so toodles!


	24. Chapter 24

Disclaimer: Do I really have to write it down? It's really painful to admit that I don't own Artemis Fowl...

**Chapter 24 – In which things seem more confusing than ever**

"And here was me thinking that we could all be such great friends." Sighed the impossible Artemis, for indeed, he should be impossible.

Kat peered at the new Artemis, and then at the Artemis that she was having an argument with just a few minutes ago, frowned, then eyes widened at the sight of Ivy. Abandoning all pretences of self-control, she hurled herself at Ivy, crying out,

"Oh my God, Ivy, where have you been? I don't care that you've got Fowl's clone behind you, or that we may be stuck here forever…"

First signs of Kat-hysteria. Ivy rolled her eyes, cursed silently and slapped her long-time friend hard across the face. Everyone in the room, except for Piccolo, blinked in surprise. Kat shook her head slightly, and smiled.

"Thanks, that was probably called for, wasn't it?"

"Yes, indeed. Kat, I did say once that I'd never let you run into a full blown mass-hysteria phase again. I'm still keeping to my word."

"For me?"

"No. For the sake of human survival." Grinned Ivy, before hugging her friend tight. "Frond! It's good to see people from home!"

The two Artemises were staring at each other, although neither gave away any sort of outward indication of their surprise. Of course, one knew that this was going to happen, and the other just wasn't going to let anyone see his true emotions, point blank.

Ivy extracted herself from Kat's grip, and made her way towards the two teens. Stopping in front of them, she laid a hand on the first Artemis that she knew.

"Fowl, meet your other half. This is the part of you that you've been missing for so long. Meet Artemis Fowl."

* * *

Now, you're probably all wondering where the (censored Gnommish word) Butler and Nubi were. Understandably, they were not exactly stopping to smell the roses.

"I should never have let Ivy get near to that Fowl boy in the first place!"

"Oh, that's rich, that is, you're accusing my charge of being dangerous, when it's your charge that can shoot lightning out of her fingers." It was a cold statement. There was hardly any emotion in Butler's voice as he concentrated on flying the private jet.

"Yeah, but…" Then Nubi realised that she had nothing else to throw back at Butler, and retorted, "Well at least my charge has managed to keep her dealings with the People on a sensible scale!"

"And look where that's led her."

"Point taken. But Fowl is also in the predicament."

"Right. So the best thing to do is to get to America and find where they are. That disturbance at the prison where Spiro is being kept is hardly coincidental – not with Artemis on the loose there."

The rest of the journey was made in silence. Neither aviator felt like admitting their concern for their charges to the other, and neither had a good feeling about what was happening either.

* * *

"Convict…" Root's colour darkened slightly, his grip on his cigar almost squashing it to a pulp. His voice contained an unconcealed threat.

"Careful, Julius. I'm a free dwarf now, remember? Doing harm to my person would qualify me to report you to the authorities, and you don't want that, do you?"

Root gave a slight noise that sounded like a strangled troll, and threw his arms into the air, letting out a string of long phrases in Gnommish, switching from time to time to different Mud Languages, sometimes even the odd animal language. Trouble and Mulch stared at the outburst, then Kelp smartly saluted, and Mulch collapsed into laughter.

"If word of this _ever_ gets back to Haven, I'll know where to look."

His characteristic elfin eyes then clouded slightly, and he started pacing. What was going on with Ivy? The gods knew that the People needed her and her special… abilities, especially now when humans were so busy trying to get to the Earth's core. Humans had taken inspiration from Zito, and that meant more scientists than ever were trying to get into the Earth's core. Not even Foaly's shield would be able to sustain against so many people's attacks.

He noticed that Trouble was now peering at him with curiosity, and, glad of a break from thinking, Root turned on the LEP Retrieval Major and yelled at full blast,

"What are you gaping for, Kelp?"

"You've never paced, Commander Root." Even though Root wasn't technically part of the LEP anymore, it was still Trouble's instinct to reply using the formal address. His heels clicked together promptly, and even his right arm twitched, as if to salute.

Mulch, being who he is, collapsed onto the floor and twitched with the effort not to laugh.

It was at this moment that Trouble's helmet indicated that he was receiving a call from Holly. Pressing the projector button on the side of his helmet, he allowed everyone to see what was going on. After all, if it was a call from Holly, then it must be urgent.

"Holly?"

"Hello there, Trouble. I apologise if you were expecting Holly on the line, but she's slightly… indisposed at the moment." Came the clipped, Irish accent that could only be Artemis Fowl.

"Fowl again. How is it that you and Holly always end up together on some crazy suicidal missions?" Snapped Kelp, not very happy that a human had managed to somehow crack into Holly's address book.

"I'd rather not think about the implications. Anyway, as you are the first person in her address book, I will make a guess and say that she trusts you the most out of all of her friends. I've come to inform you of an unexpected… predicament that has turned up."

"Why isn't Holly on the line, Fowl?" Asked Root, his eyes fixed thunderously on the Mud Adolescent in front of him.

"Weren't you listening, Root? I said that she is indisposed due to an unexpected predicament over here."

"Holly? Unexpected?" Mulch snorted, "Holly got knocked out because of something unexpected? Wow, I would pay to know what it was…"

And the next thing couldn't have happened. Because the next thing was that another blue eyed, raven-haired boy popped into the screen, grinning maniacally, with a slight glint in his eyes,

"Seriously? You'd pay to see me? Let's see if we can make an arrangement, shall we?"

And with that, Mulch's beard stood on end. Right before he fell backwards onto his posterior.

"Is this unexpected enough for you, Mulch?" Sighed the original Artemis, shoving the second, albeit scarier, Artemis out of the way.

"I told you not to scare them…"

This came from a very familiar and welcome person. Root immediately took charge of the holographic screen, ignoring whatever else there was on the screen that caused the convict to faint.

"Ivy! Status report, pronto!"

* * *

The effect was immediate. Ivy's heels snapped together, her right hand saluted in the fairy manner, and said crisply,

"Sir, Corporal Ivy Kestrel reporting, sir!"

_That_ earned two very curious looks.

"Corporal? I would have thought that you'd have risen through the ranks rather faster, Kestrel…"

"Corporal? What are you doing _in_ the fairy army in the first place? And could you recommend me?"

Ivy predicted that some explanation was going to be demanded. But that wasn't important at the moment. What was important was that her superior officer was demanding an explanation…

And that was when it hit her. With a large troll club over the head.

"Un… uncle Julius?"

Suffice to say that some people were _very _interested in this colloquial address of the red-faced commander of LEPrecon who famously ripped off anyone's head if they called him by his first name.

"_Uncle_ Julius?" The smirk on Artemis's face was almost too large to be contained on his face.

"You _ever_ mention this again, Fowl, and I'll…"

It was perhaps unfortunate that it was then that the other Artemis, albeit the less devious one, took the screen in his hands, focused it onto him and his double, and grinned maniacally, thoroughly enjoying the effect he had on people.

"Which one?"

Root promptly joined Mulch on the floor.

Trouble, who was still deadly white, took over communications and demanded,

"Who cloned Artemis Fowl?"

Over on the other side of the communicator, two of the room's occupants lightly smacked their heads repeatedly on the surface of the ship, whilst one smirked with amusement.

Ivy groaned, and dragged both Artemises into a corner, and ordered them to try and become one again. When the original, sarcastic Artemis Fowl opened his mouth in protest, she silenced him with a finger.

"No. Not now, Fowl. Just let… erm… Holly explain it, would you?" Ivy grumbled on her way back to the communicator, where Holly had (thankfully) recovered from the two Fowls. As Ivy approached walked towards Kat, Kat turned around to face her.

"Look, Ivy, I know that _you_ may think that Fowl is great, but don't you think having just one of them is enough?"

"Well, I _do_ admit that having two Artemis Fowls is idiotic, but _would_ you stop implying that I like him?"

"Which one?" Asked Kat, "In case you didn't notice, you brought the _other_ one."

Ivy glared at her long-time human friend, and scowled,

"I know. And now I'm wondering why I ever did that in the first place…"

Trouble, Root and Mulch were shaken, but still breathing, and Root didn't look as if he were about to have a coronary, so both Artemises were trying to keep out of the way, lest they risk the wrath of Holly (or Kat, or Ivy, they weren't really fussed about which one).

"…so you see, Commander…"

"Yes, I see. This is going to take a heck of a long time to explain to the Council. So many humans who know the existence of the People? I wouldn't be surprised if the first reaction was to terminate all of their lives and then do a worldwide scan."

Everyone shuddered, apart from one of the Artemises who looked as if he didn't even know what a 'scan' was.

"Look, the Elements told me that the two of you need to get back together, so that's what I'm trying to do. The problem is that we have no idea how to do it." Here, Ivy turned to the Artemis on the right, "So, what do you think?"

"How should I know? Ask my genius half."

"You _are_ your genius half, Fowl."

"How do you know?" Asked the Artemis from her left.

"You mean, apart from the fact that he's not slouching, has perfectly manicured nails, combed hair and isn't wearing clothes that could have come from a human museum? No, I never would have guessed…"

"Oh."

"Alright, so I'm the one with the brains, apparently. Glad to see that you haven't lost your edge, Kestrel." Smirked Artemis, his eyes flashing dangerously.

"Right. Just tell me how to get the two of you back together." Ivy demanded, but glowing slightly from the compliment paid to her.

"My guess is that we're just too different." All eyes locked onto the Artemis on Ivy's left. "I'm surprised that we didn't manage to merge the second that we got here."

"So… what do you suggest?"

"Somehow get the two of us into harmony with each other. If we can somehow manage to get onto the same emotional scale…"

"I think you mean brain frequency. And I don't see that happening anytime soon." Blue eyes regarded each other disdainfully, "You don't seem to be anything like me."

"The split made it complicated. We were totally separated, but we're still one person."

"Sounds like St. Patrick to me."

"But we're not the Holy Trinity."

Ivy interrupted here, before the two adolescents managed to attack each other, "Look, you two aren't the Holy Trinity, but it's the same principle. What we need to do is to somehow merge the two of you, and restore the eternal balance, etc. etc."

"Why were we split in the first place?" The people stared at the Artemis in the Armani suit, "What, I get split into two and I don't have the right to know?"

"Long story made short, Fowl, you're an entity called the Keeper of the Balance and unless we manage to get you and the other you back together, there's going to be trouble."

"What trouble?"

"I don't know. The Elements weren't exactly specific."

Artemis Fowl frowned. He was used to dealing with the People, so magic had seemed to become something trivial. But this… this was something that he had the feeling that even his genius could not solve.

The feeling rendered both raven-haired, blue-eyes teens helpless.

A/N: Okay, I'm really really REALLY sorry for the wait, but you've got to admit that I'm getting better :)

Now, I really need to go now - I'm meant to be revising for my RS GCSE right now. FOr those who don't know, A GCSE is sort of like the SATs over in America, (I think) and it really counts because I'm aiming for ten As and an A in my first AS level (English) so wish me luck and do NOT ask for another chapter until in about a month's time.

In the meantime, I'm going to try and upload some ideas I've had for the next couple of stories I've got in mind.


	25. Chapter 25

A/N: I am so so so so so SO sorry! I've only just finished my GCSEs, and I'm about to go off on holiday for a month, so I'm afraid that the huge mass of updates aren't coming any time soon. I am, however, going to use the laptop to try and write some chapters on holiday, so when I get back (after the HP release date :( ) you'll all be able to view some more chapters!

I'm REALLY unhappy with this chapter, but it's the best I could do within a week. try to enjoy!

Disclaimer: Do we have to go through this every time? It's really degrading when I have to admit that I don't own Artemis Fowl

**Chapter 25 – In which even the author doesn't know what the heck is going on**

"So… anyone got an idea of getting the two of these teens back together again?" Asked Holly, grimacing at the idea of Artemis Fowl, of all people, gaining the metaphorical key to the world.

"The Keeper of the Balance? Again with a legend of a legend. Isn't that mentioned in one of the chapters of the Book?" Artemis asked, although everyone knew that he was just trying to start a conversation. The uncomfortable silence reigned.

"Hold on, the Keeper of the Balance? What on earth is that? You people need to remember that not everyone can read your precious Book." Cut in Cat.

One of the Artemises (no prizes for guessing which one) sighed in frustration and put his hands on Ivy's ears, "This would be so much _easier_ if you hadn't insisted on getting away, you know. Duke Kestrel would have gladly helped you…"

"Wait a minute, Duke Kestrel? You mean the MI5 agent isn't really…" It was perhaps the first time that most people on the ship had heard the formal-suit-Artemis use such a colloquial term as 'you mean'.

"No, in fact, he isn't. Mother's ways are really rather effective, if a little immoral." Frowned Ivy, displaying her disapproval of Melissa Kestrel's blatant manipulation of the man Ivy had called 'father' for thirteen years. "I've found my biological father, and everything's been going wrong since."

"But… your emotions aren't in turmoil? You _have _just found out that your alleged father is not, in fact, your biological father, logically, you should be rather shocked…" Artemis started, his psychologist side showing itself.

"What are you talking about? I've always known that Jack's not my real father. It's not really that surprising. After all, you'd think that by the age of six I'd know that anyone who didn't bear the name of Kestrel wasn't related to me, right?"

Artemis blinked. Of course that was the case – he was underestimating Ivy.

"Don't worry, you're used to others being below your intellect. It's become an instinct for you to underestimate people, hasn't it?"

This made everyone do a double take. It was like she was reading his mind…

"I am. Well, sort of. I don't really know how to describe it…" Ivy replied to the unspoken questions.

"Ivy here has just come into her inheritance. The Kestrel Gift. It allows her to share anything and everything with anyone and everyone. Of course, it was only meant to stick to thoughts. It seems that her Gift of Water somehow amplifies her original power…"

"No time for that now, clone!" Came a loud yell from the cockpit. Piccolo was at the wheel, desperately trying to keep the ship steady. "The eye of the storm is disappearing!"

"What?" Exclaimed Holly, rushing to a window, "That's impossible!"

"It's not impossible, Holly," Artemis started, switching back to I'm-a-genius-so-fear-me mode, "It just means that the storm is moving slightly, nothing unusual, and hardly impo…"

"You don't understand, Fowl! This storm _never_ moves! If it moves, it can have severe repercussions on both worlds, on both sides of this tunnel."

"B-both?"

"Yes, b-both!" Even Holly's mimicking of his stutter did not register fully in Artemis's head. There was another world right next to his own, and he had never known about it? What was the point of exploiting only one world…

"Uh-oh, I know that look…" Holly frowned, snapping her fingers in front of the boy she had known for almost three years. "Artemis, even _you_ can't cross the boundaries between the two worlds – it's been blocked, remember?"

"Yes, but if I can somehow reconnect myself with my supposed other half, then I could cross the borders no problem. The legend of the Keeper of the Balance speaks of the ability to cross between borders, correct?"

"Fowl… no. The People won't allow you to do that."

"Aren't we getting a little far ahead here, Holly? I believe you were telling me about the coming of the eclipse?"

An identical raven-haired head popped up beside them, smiling belligerently. The hostility in his demeanour was directed at one person – his other self.

"You know, Duke Kestrel warned me that you may be like this. But I hadn't believed him. I'm disappointed to say that I believe now."

The two identical teens faced one another, two blue glares reflecting and rebounding from each other, and a stalemate was reached. Holly regarded the two teens, sighed, and bashed their heads together.

The action was so unexpected that neither teenager could resist as their foreheads collided. The resulting sound made everyone twist around from gawping out of the window at the inexorable movement of the storm, and the resulting view was enough to make at least a few of the occupants of the ship choke on their laughter.

Both teenagers were staggering in the manner of drunken men, and one of them had tried to lean against thin air, the resulting force bringing him down to the floor.

"D'Arvit! Why are the forces of gravity still functional here?" Complained the suited-Artemis, picking himself up from the floor, and stumbling towards a somewhat firmer surface.

"This is a go-between. I think that…" The other Artemis began, his face slightly screwed up from trying to remember his lessons, "Er…"

"Of course, this inter-dimensional passage probably functions along the brainwave patterns, doesn't it? The same way as a time-stop does?"

"Sharp as ever, Mud Boy." Frowned Root, slightly put of from the lack of attention he was receiving. "Yes, Foaly ran a scan a few years ago, but immediately destroyed it so that nobody would know about it – probably why you didn't know anything about this tunnel – and the scans showed that it's like the largest time-stop ever."

* * *

Ivy wasn't exactly happy at the moment – it was one thing to find and be introduced to the father you had never known, but another matter entirely if you find out that friends you had known all your life had been keeping such a huge secret from you. She understood the theory, sort of, but the noises buzzing around in her head wasn't helping much.

In the distance, she heard Trouble explaining some of the finer details, presumably with lots of help from Foaly…

No, not presumably… definitely… 

Funny, how did she know that…?

The time-stop region… 

_Stupid Mud Boy…_

_Duke Kestrel is going to blow when he hears this…_

…_encompasses…_

…_when is he going to…_

…_how am I going to explain…?_

…_all…_

…_learn…_

…_to him…_

…_revenge…_

The thoughts were now so deafening that she could no longer differentiate between speech and thought. Resisting the urge to curl up in a ball and scream, she tugged on one of the Artemises – she was beyond the point of caring which one – and whispered in a harsh voice that was hardly recognisable as her own,

"How do I make it stop?"

This Artemis looked rather surprised.

Why… 

_What…_

_Confused…_

_Loss…_

_Going…_

"Ah… I see that the Gift of Kestrel has begun to take its toll. Congratulations, Ivy. You've just set a record." A pair of unlaced shoes appeared in front of her, and the same malevolent smirk prevailed upon his face. "You know, your father's going to be very upset about this – you've broken his record."

And with that, two soothing hands descended upon her temples. The cooling fingertips massaged her, and at the same time, there was the feel of a healing. But different.

"Interesting healing method. Mind healing?" A pair of loafers appeared in Ivy's line of sight.

"Yes." The identical voice. But with a hint of surprise. "A guess or something more?"

"Call it intuition."

"I see."

And, all the while, the thoughts crowding into Ivy's head began to fade…

Fascinating… 

_It's working…_

Until they became no more than a whisper.

"You know, I was not aware of the fact that mind healing was possible. I read in the Book that healing worked only on the body." Ivy's eyes met with cool blue ones, two pairs, but whereas one reflected compassion, the other was unsure, as if he had forgotten how to express it.

"Ivy?"

She shook her head slightly, trying to dislodge whatever the magic had done to her. It felt as if there were constraints on her mind, as if metal walls had descended upon her. Once again, the feeling of claustrophobia kicked in, but she controlled it, just as she had all her life…

And then, something occurred to her. Something that had been buried for so long…

"The Vows…"

The concerned blue eyes stared into her emerald green ones, piercing them, "Ah. Right, I see. Duke Kestrel's going to have to remove these, I'm afraid. My lessons haven't progressed this far yet, and I doubt that I'd be able to master it with my limited knowledge anyway."

Cat shoved both of the teenagers out of the way, lowering herself to Ivy's level, "Ivy! Are you okay?"

Piccolo wasn't far behind, and, as his usual practical self, he handed her a bottle of water. The whispers inside her head became a little stronger as he approached her. Focussing on the insistent whisper, she could hear…

A sharp slap came across her face, and she stared in shock (she wasn't the only one) at Artemis Fowl. With his archaic clothes and sombre expression, it was as if a righteous priest from long ago had been ripped out of his own time space and dumped in front of Ivy to chastise her. With disbelieving eyes, she raised her head to look at the ice-cold eyes of one Artemis Fowl.

And then, she saw it.

So many lifetimes… 

_So tired…_

_Reunite…_

_Fulfil…_

There was so much more to being the Keeper of the Balance than just wishing, like the Book made it out to be. The deaths of so many companions, only to be…

Ivy Saraswati Kestrel tore her eyes away, leaned onto Artemis… the suited, still-innocent Artemis Fowl… and wept for the centuries of pain conveyed in those eyes of sapphire.

The moment was somewhat ruined by the sudden jerk to the side, and a maniacal laughter coming from outside.

* * *

A/N: Horrible, huh? Well, it's almost coming to an end, and the sequel is going to come, whether you people like it or not, but the sequel's not going to be in AF fanfiction. I'll leave you to ponder that...

Ivy: TWO Fowls? What are you going to do? Put us into a polygamous marriage?

PeridotNox: No, but now that you mention it...

All of the cast: EWWWW!!!!!!!!!

PeridotNox: Okay, alright, I wasn't entertaining the thought anyway... not too seriously...


	26. Chapter 26

A/N: I am now back from China - it's sweltering over there! Anyway, sorry for the delay, but here's the next chapter. It's sort of been thrown together in about two hours, and I haven't really checked it very throroughly, so please forgive any mistakes :S

Disclaimer: I do not own anything that you recognise from anywhere else in this story. Don't rub it in.

**Chapter 26 – In which a great sacrifice is given**

Piccolo ran to the side of the observation point, and sighed. Sometimes, the most reassuring and most annoying thing about having Piccolo around was that he was impossibly calm. A hurricane could tear through his house and destroy his life, and he would calmly watch it doing so, and describe it as 'interesting'.

His theory was that worrying about his past didn't do anything to help his future.

"We're almost at the edge of the eye now. Oh, and there's a madman hanging onto the helm."

And this, of course, got everyone running.

"Frond! It's Spiro!" Yelled Holly, mouth agape at the sheer insanity of what Spiro being there implied, "And he's still alive?"

"Brainwaves, Holly, brainwaves. Spiro's completely mad now, so in his mind, he's probably still on solid ground, or we're in a high speed car, or something similar."

"Then he should be dead, right?" Asked Cat, her eyes glued on the desperately clawing man who seemed intent on somehow getting to the door. "Hey! He's reached the door!"

"Don't worry, he can't get in without a key." Holly replied. "This hunk of junk may be from the stone age, but it's still got some basics like a security lock."

"Which stone age? Yours or ours?" Asked Cat, distracted from watching Spiro for a moment.

"Ours, of course. You think that you humans could have come up with this when you'd only just discovered fire?"

Cat turned away again, a sour look on her face, and she muttered something that sounded distinctly like, 'Snobs'. Holly raised an eyebrow, but didn't question her statement. Instead, Holly explained,

"The security lock is like an ordinary house lock, nothing special, but you need to have a specific key, and I'm assuming that you people have the only key, right?"

"Er… sorta…" Cat looked sheepish. Sheepish was never something to be pleased about when the expression applied to Cat.

"What do you mean, 'sorta'?" There was a slightly ominous undertone on Holly's voice, and Ivy and both Artemises could tell that she was unconsciously using the _mesmer_ whilst she was looming over Cat.

This would have had greater effect if Holly had been slightly taller than Cat. As it were, Holly still seemed to tower over the shuffling teenager.

"Look, we've got a key, alright? Otherwise we wouldn't have been able to get into this ship." Cat defended loudly, "We've got one of two keys."

"One… of two?" Holly repeated, struck dumb for words. "What happened to the other one then?"

"It was a back-up, just in case we'd lost the first one, alright?" Cat defended raucously, offended that Holly would think that she was so careless as to lose that key.

"We left it in the care of the City Council. It's locked away at the moment, somewhere where nobody but ourselves can reach." Piccolo cut in, his quiet, strong voice ringing like a low, mellow bell over the din.

Holly frowned, and went over to her helmet again, presumably to contact Foaly to give him an update and to check that the key really was safe. Piccolo privately thought that it was pointless to check – after all, who would have broken into a loosely guarded _key vault_, of all places, just to steal a key that looked as if it had been hammered into shape during the Middle Ages?

* * *

Holly turned back, a frown plastered onto her face, and said,

"The key's still in that vault, but I've now got orders to destroy that key on sight. Do you have any idea as to how dangerous that is? _Anyone_ could have picked it up, _anyone_ could have broken into this ship. Do you realise how much trouble you may be in?"

"We're above the law in Haven, Short, remember? It's sort of why you hired us in the first place." Cat retorted, returning to the controls, preparing to try and flick Spiro off its surface by jerking the ship from side to side. As a result, the ship's occupants were also flung across the room.

"Holly! Are you okay?" Yelled Trouble Kelp, who had just come onto the intercom. Through all of the chaos around them, it was impossible to hear him, but somehow possible to hear the insistent banging on the door.

And then, the banging stopped.

A scraping sound, followed by a click of something opening, echoed through the ship.

A wind swept through the ship.

And total silence reigned.

"I think that Spiro found a third key." Holly muttered quietly.

* * *

Ivy was shocked – she never imagined that Spiro, her supposed 'uncle' through her adoptive 'father', could possibly have known about this ship? Spiro hadn't been able to trace her activities in Chicago, even when he was personally active, she was positive about that, so how had he been able to find another key?

"Brainwaves, Kestrel. If Jon Spiro thinks he can do it, then this intermediate plane somehow gives him the ability to do so. His imagination supplied the key – it seems that the dubious laws of physics are completely suspended here." Artemis whispered, his voice barely heard by the intended recipient.

"Speak in plain Anglish, can't you?" Asked the Artemis Fowl, who had never before even heard of the term 'brainwave' before. "It's not as if it's helping the situation here."

"And what do _you_ propose we do? Blast through and knock him unconscious? The man thinks that anything is possible! We could probably stick a knife through his heart and his brain will still keep it pumping, even after it shouldn't anymore…"

"Look – the important thing right now is to somehow get the two of us back together into one body! Without doing that, we're all in danger!"

"Don't exaggerate…"

"Artemis. Do it."

This quiet, subdued voice was not one that came often from Ivy Kestrel. The visions of the horrific pasts, the magnificent adventures, the heart-wrenching losses… they were all there – in those blue eyes…

* * *

There was no time for him to reply before Spiro ran at the two of them, pushing the Artemis in the archaic clothes onto the floor. In the shock and franticness of this sudden new development, the suited Artemis pounced onto Spiro, feebly trying to wrestle the man who should have been dead off of the other Artemis, and there were shouts and screams and shrieks and the ship was rocking from side to side and he was so sure that they were all going to get thrown out of the gaping door any moment now…

"Geroff, you dwarf with an unhingable jaw, geroff!"

_That's what passes off as swearing there? I feel sorry for Kestrel._

With surprising strength that obviously came from experience in rough-and-tumble play such as this, the archaic Artemis shoved both of them off, and sat up, his left hand raised slightly towards Spiro, almost defensively, and his eyes flashing slightly.

However, unlike most clichéd heroes, his eyes weren't flashing in fury. His eyes, like any sensible human with any amount of intelligence would have, were flashing in fear. Scrambling to get up, he faced his shorter foe, his expression wary.

Spiro looked like a fish out of water, his eyes senseless, his appearance tousled, his pupils dilated. Both Fowls looked at the madman in wonder, and both marvelled at the determination of the man – even if it was determination to kill both of them. The man's eyes now swivelled from one identical Artemis Fowl II to another, and you could almost hear Spiro's brain trying to figure out which one was the real Fowl and which one to kill. The silence was suffocating.

* * *

From the agonising safety of Haven, Root could shove Trouble aside and only stare at the feedback from Holly's (borrowed) helmet camera at the events unfolding in that primitive shuttle. Even from the computer screen, with imperfect resolution, Root could recognise that Spiro had gone completely mad. In a rather transparent attempt to break the tension and shift Spiro's attention from murder, Cat piped up,

"Hey, Spiro, why don't you just sit down before we're forced to take you down?"

She was immediately elbowed by Holly. Cat was obviously not equipped for this sort of situation.

Root, however, was. Spending over a century in the LEP made it quite likely for hostage situations to arise, such as the Fowl thing. However, being on the screen of a helmet made it fairly difficult to deal with the situation as it should be. Instead, Root was forced to employ his least favourite method – soothing the hostage taker.

"Holly! You've got to calm Spiro down, before he goes berserk!"

"Yessir!" Even after half a year out of the force, Holly was still jumping to attention at the sound of that abrupt and loud voice, "Now, Mr Spiro, let's all calm down. We're not strangers here, are we?"

Her voice was soothing, slightly laced with the _mesmer_, after all, it never really hurt for persuasion, and Spiro was lulled into a barely conscious state. His arms, earlier held up in a boxing gesture, fell loosely by his sides. His fists relaxed, and his eyelids closed slightly. He seemed to almost be entranced by the mellow tones of the diminutive PI, thanks to the influence of the _mesmer_.

Later on, Root would probably attribute the failure of this method to either Holly's magic waning, the intermediate plane's interference or the appearance of Kestrel. All in all, it was probably the appearance of Ivy that drove Spiro back into a state of perfect consciousness. It seemed that the Spiro's hatred had managed to extend to a few more people during his absence.

"_You!_" Came the strangled scream, and the screech that tore out from Spiro's throat didn't even sound remotely human. Cowed by the insane wrath of her 'uncle', Ivy took an involuntary step backwards.

"You! You're the one who landed me here!" A giggle escaped, before converting itself into another inarticulate scream. Root had seen this sort of behaviour before in a light-driven troll. He half expected that Spiro would start frothing at the mouth at any moment.

He hadn't, however, expected Spiro to pull out a gun.

"D'Arvit, Short! Disarm the man, now!"

"I'm going to do what I should have done two years ago, Fowl! I'm gonna shoot you stone cold DEAD!"

If it wasn't for the fact that their lives were in mortal danger, Root would have really enjoyed this show – it reminded him of some of the Mud Man films that he had recently become so addicted to watching.

* * *

Artemis, the one who knew what a brainwave is, was panicking. It was most uncharacteristic, just like his inability to formulate a plausible plan at the moment. It seemed that being under threat of a gun always drove any coherent thoughts out of his head. Then, after he had almost given up on thinking up a plan, his counterpart asked boldly,

"Which one?"

This brought everyone up short. Heads swivelled towards the medieval-clad Fowl in confusion, even Spiro seemed slightly puzzled.

"Which Artemis Fowl are you going to shoot?"

Spiro's eyes bulged.

"Well?"

The shaking gunpoint twisted from one Fowl to another, and the man's knuckles were so white that nobody dared to approach him. Even Holly judged the situation too dangerous to try and disarm Spiro, and Kestrel's special 'gift' seemed to have deserted her along with her tongue. Her green eyes were wide with fear and horror.

The gunpoint pointed from left to right, and back again, repeating the pattern so quickly that the routine was set. Then, frustration came out of Spiro in the form of a howl, and he changed direction completely, giving nobody any chance of reacting, and shot.

* * *

Ivy Kestrel clutched at her chest, just above the heart. She looked down, feeling slightly dizzy, but no pain, and saw something red spreading out. She fell backwards onto the floor.D'Arvit… 

_Ivy!_

Oh Frond… 

Ivy Kestrel took a small breath, and died.

* * *

Ivy: You killed me?!

PeridotNox: It was necessary!

Artemises: Why couldn't you have killed someone else? Like Cat?

Cat: What was that? Cracks knuckles

Artemises: Nothing!

PeridotNox: Sighs and rolld eyes Just help me and review, please.


	27. Chapter 27

Disclaimer: You know the drill. I. Do. Not. Own. Anything. That. You. May. Recognise.

The ideas about the Balance and its Keeper, however, is mine.

**Chapter 27 – In which a new Power comes into the spotlight**

It didn't sound right, somehow. Ivy Kestrel was dead. The shape of those words still hadn't hit home yet. Artemis wasn't sure who was screaming, but it was the most animalistic sound he had ever heard escape from a human or fairy.

It couldn't be. It was impossible for her to be dead because… because…

And for once, Artemis Fowl could not formulate an excuse for what he wanted.

A single teardrop slid down his cheek. This time, there was no doubt whose it was.

* * *

Holly watched as the blood spread, ran forwards to try and heal her, but the laughing maniac managed to knock her across the cockpit, breaking several ribs in the progress. She could only stare in horror as the magic started to heal her fractured ribs as the kestrel in Ivy's eyes took flight.

"NO!"

The simultaneous scream erupted from both adolescents, archaic and modern, and both of them sank to their knees. Two teardrops reached the ground. Both of them crawling unceremoniously towards the girl that had fallen in their stead. Two identical pairs of eyes staring at the lifeless body of Ivy Saraswati Kestrel, friend of the People.

A faint noise came from her helmet, but she shook her head slightly to try and get rid of the noise. All she wanted at that moment was to get rid of all of the annoying things in life, and a commander demanding a status report was included on that list. Turning the helmet's mike onto mute, Holly scrambled ungraciously towards her fallen charge, and placed her fingers on Ivy's neck, desperately trying to feel a pulse.

But there wasn't even a goblin's trace of electricity left in her brain.

A strange, distorted noise came from either side of her. It sounded a little like when there was interference in her helmet mike because of one of Foaly's PPTV soaps. She raised her tearstained face only to be shocked into dryness.

Both of the Artemises were being distorted. Every time the sound came, their figures blurred at the edges, a little like a faulty television would do.

And then, a heartbeat.

The very particles of the two Fowls shook. They both stood up, the same look of shock and fear creeping into their facial expressions. Holly looked down at her charge again, and saw that she was also distorted.

"Hey, wait…" Holly started, before realising that she was speaking in Gnommish. Switching back to English, she repeated what she had said, but by then it was really too late.

There was another heartbeat.

And there was no one there anymore.

* * *

_I should have known to use the girl earlier._

Artemis was floating – no, not really floating, more like suspension. Like a puppet. It took him a while to realise that the sound of the voice was resounding around his head, but not around him. Although it was hard to tell – there was nothing to pinpoint his position – the darkness hid everything from him.

_This will feel strange, but bear with it._

And then, it was like being in two places at once, but staying in the same place. Although, Artemis reflected, it could also feel like having two minds and one body, depending on your perspective. He suddenly felt as if he had been separated, as if his awareness was in two different places at the same time. It was not pleasant, but not unbearable. The result was… interesting.

And then, something happened. It wasn't just his thoughts inside his head anymore, but they were his own.

_And now, _came the mysterious voice again, _you are truly my Keeper._

And the experience of being in two places at the same time ceased, but he wasn't himself anymore.

"What just happened?"

* * *

This same question was being posed by a tomato red bodyguard up on the surface, yelling into a mouthpiece, glaring at the computer screen at the diminutive, equally tomato red ex-commander. Nubi glared daggers at the commander, not only because she had accepted that he was dead and had been in mourning, but also because he was the one who had told her that her charge, her logically _indestructible_ charge, had just died.

Been snuffed out.

Kicked the bucket.

Somehow, if she kept on coming up with new ways of saying that Ivy had died, she never reached the conclusion that she was actually _dead_.

"How can she have died? I thought that she had some sort of… of power over the elements!" Butler exclaimed, throwing professional calmness to the winds. It was startling to find out about the death of someone – especially since it would have a great impact on Master Artemis. Also, this would be the first time that Artemis would have encountered death with his own eyes.

"Even having a relationship of sorts with the elements doesn't make you bullet-proof, Butler." Growled Root, "And she hasn't really developed them very much."

"What do you mean?"

"Her mother's been putting up barriers all around for the past few years. Remember that Fowl incident?"

Butler frowned, upset at the reminder of their previous actions to their present friends, "Of course, how can I forget?"

"It was only around that time that her power over the elements actually began to show. For some reason, she couldn't really control it before – it was more like uncontrolled outbursts of energy. But we've got reason to believe that it's because of Ivy that Haven's still standing."

This intrigued Butler. Beside him, he could feel that Nubi was getting bored – she obviously didn't want to waste anymore time there. She would probably much rather be hunting down Spiro, even if it _did_ involve her jumping into a wormhole, from what the commander had said before.

Suddenly, a shrill, hysterical voice piped up form the opposite side of the room. Butler vaguely recognised it as Holly's.

"Commander! He… he's…"

"What? Who's what? Spit it out, soldier!"

If the situation hadn't been so dire, it would almost have been funny hearing Root call Holly, who had finally gone past her limit and broken down, a 'soldier.'

"Fowl!" Butler's heart froze over this new announcement, "Artemis Fowl has disappeared!"

"What? Both of them? Be clear about this, woman!"

This was definitely new to Butler. "Would it inconvenience anyone to tell me what's going on?" He asked in a voice that seemed to freeze molten magma, but Root went on and ignored it.

"Yes, actually, it would. We'll fill you in nicely once we get Fowl the _Frond_ back here, but before then…"

He was cut off, and all Butler could hear was a lot of swearing in Gnommish. Nubi frowned – she still wasn't very familiar with the fairy language yet, but she got the basic idea. Foaly's face filled the screen,

"Hey there, Butler. Our resurrected leader is now about to dunk his head into a bucket of Atlantic ice to cool off, so I'll update you."

"Less of the lip and more of the information, Foaly. What's happened to Ivy and Fowl?"

"Well… how much do you know about alternative dimensions?"

* * *

_You are now in what the Previous have called the Void._

"It can't be void, otherwise I wouldn't be here right now."

_You have no need to speak out loud – I can hear you loud and clear._

"It reassures me." Then Artemis remembered something, "Where's Ivy? This is the Great Beyond, is it not?"

_Hardly. This is the place where all things came from and from which all things are harmonised._

"Explain."

_As you have deduced, I am the Balance. I have needed a Keeper since the beginning of my reign, because a Greater Power has no personal connection to any living thing. We keep the living alive, and that is the extent of our relationship._

"And that, to some people, is enough to suggest a fairly close relationship. Their lives are all they care about."

_Indeed. But we know nothing of war, nor of victory and loss, nor of your human emotions. Those were brought into being by yourselves and yourselves alone._

"I knew that emotions were a mistake."

_Sometimes, I feel that human beings were a mistake._

"That was what I was implying."

_Sidetracking is not the objective here. I need a Keeper because it is I who control how the Balance tips in each separate world, but as a Greater Power, I do not understand much about your humanity. That makes you, and your predecessors, necessary. The Elements are also Greater Powers, but they are more tied to the human race than I am, and therefore more given to the shadier side of human nature – deceit, treachery, selfishness and so on. They sought a way to conquer me._

"Yes… I remember something about that…"

_Ah yes… I forgot to mention that you'll be remembering some things that haven't really happened to you._

"How is that possible? I thought that both Artemises just combined to form me?"

_A misguided preconception. In fact, the Artemis that contained the power to unlock me was meant to only be a vessel. When you were split by the Elements, they intended on using the vessel as a tool. Fortunately, enough mistakes had been made that the vessel still had enough humanity within it to withhold the elements – we Greater Powers have never liked to use humans, you're too complicated. Besides, I have been neglecting some of my duties in the past several years, or past several centuries according to some of the timelines, and you're going to be very busy. You are you, the powers you have now are only an addition - the extra Artemis should never have existed._

"Wait a minute, I don't seem to have any memories on how to control these powers!"

_And I'm not surprised that you don't know how to control them – the vessel was just that. A vessel. Unless it was tipped the wrong way or broken, none of the power would have leaked out._

"That's a novel way of putting it."

_Indeed._

"So I'm basically starting from a clean slate?"

_Basically. However, if your intellect is as great as you boast it is, then you should be able to figure out how to do some things on your own._

"Such as raising the dead?"

Artemis almost got the feeling that this entity would have been choking if it had a bodily form.

_No! Absolutely not! I forbid it!_

"What? But why is it forbidden? The obvious use of a balance is to tip it in your favour."

_Yes, it is possible, but I do not permit it! Whoever dies, dies for a reason. Raising them again may have dire consequences on the future._

"And if their survival is beneficial?"

_Then it is…permissible._

"And that's all the encouragement I need."

And, concentrating harder on his own physical existence, he shifted back into solid being. His appearance evidently shocked the (conscious) occupants of the ship. Spiro seemed to have been knocked unconscious by someone. Artemis was half-relieved and half-disappointed at this development.

If Spiro had been conscious, Artemis had fantasized about punching him out by himself.

But if he had been conscious… Artemis wasn't sure if he would have stopped at just punching anymore. The death of one of his only human friends seemed to have punched a hole in his reasoning – where he would once have only bankrupted Spiro, he now wanted something more. Much more.

"Fowl! Stop staring at Spiro and answer me already – where have you been?"

With the slightest moment of hesitation, he replied, "Talking."

"With who?"

Artemis smiled, but there was a trace of vampirism in his smile again. It made the people in the cockpit back away slightly. It had been so long since he had given off a vampire smile to the crowds that they had almost forgotten the full impact of it.

"It's a secret."

Cat was the first one to pipe up, her voice still subdued after seeing one of her best friends being killed,

"Is this secret something that will help us get Ivy back? Why can't Holly heal her?"

"I told you already, Cat." Holly sighed exasperatedly, "Ivy's brain had already stopped. Once the brain stops functioning, there's no hope for the patient. Ivy was long gone before I could even attempt to start healing her."

Artemis was moving almost automatically. He crossed over to the corpse of the girl who made his heart thump slightly faster every time she smiled at him, and straightened her body again. Then, turning to Piccolo, he asked,

"Can you steer onwards? I need to be somewhere solid to do this." He turned to Holly, "Can you tell Butler that I'm fine?" The last part was automatic more than anything else. Perhaps the only person who would be worrying about him was Butler. But that wasn't the most important thing at the moment - after all, he would explain everything to Butler after he got Ivy back.

His heart was racing as he pondered over the impications of his intended actions. Raising someone from the dead - it would be looked upon by Holly, as one of the People, as the ultimate evil. But at this point, he was beyond caring.

Artemis Fowl was finally whole.

And he knew what he had to do.

* * *

A/N: There's not going to be many chapters after this one, but I can promise that the loose ends will all be tied up!

Read and Review!


	28. Chapter 28

Disclaimer: I. Do. Not. Own. Artemis. Fowl. Characters. sob

**Chapter 28 – In which some previously impossible things become the improbable**

"Fowl, you're being ridiculous. Do you want me to heal Ivy? We'll get the bullet hole out of her," Here, Holly had to swallow a lump in her throat, "but it won't make any difference. Her mind's gone – her heartbeat won't restart."

Artemis was holding Ivy's limp head in his hands, and not really attending to Holly's protests. If he was really going to pull this off, then there was a good chance that something would go wrong. Experimentation was never something to be taken lightly, especially with an unknown element in the equation.

And his new powers were definitely unknown.

"Fowl? Are you even listening to me? And what makes you think that I'm going to help you at all?"

"Nothing." It was the first words he had spoken in a while. Holly was taken aback by what he said. This was _not_ normal Artemis Fowl behaviour. Before she could formulate some sort of response, he had turned to her and said,

"In fact, I'm going to ask you another favour."

"Favours? Artemis Fowl understands _favours_?"

"Of course I do." He passed a hand over eyes that were still too old for that face. Holly subdued slightly, allowing Artemis to carry on, "Holly, I'm too tired to make any deals with the People. Just promise me one thing, alright?"

"What is it?" Holly had had enough dealings with Fowl in the past to know not to trust him when he was vulnerable – or at least when he seemed vulnerable.

"When we get to the other side, you have to promise me that you'll come back. No arguing – I want you to leave Kestrel and me on that side, come through the tunnel and not come back in until I get back. Do you understand?"

Holly did not understand. Actually, she wasn't completely sure whether she _didn't _understand or didn't _want_ to understand. Either way, what Fowl was asking for was a lot more than she could ever agree on. Opening her mouth to reject this absurd 'favour', she found her mouth being covered easily by Artemis's human hand.

"Holly, I know what you're going to say." For once, Holly couldn't disagree with someone on that line, "But I am going to do something profoundly unnatural and reassure you that I will be fine. Just make sure that you come right back when you drop me there."

He didn't even wait for a response. He simply fell back into the abnormally subdued state, holding Kestrel's head the way he used to hold a bar of gold. Perhaps with more affection, but it scared Holly to think that Fowl knew how to _show_ affection. Then, she realised something that should have hit her long ago. All this shock must be getting to her head – her mind was still a little foggy with disbelief at Ivy's death.

"Fowl, how are you getting back without a ship?" Then, she thought of something else, "Where's your doppelganger?"

"He's… still present."

"Where? I didn't see him materialise with you, so he must have disappeared somewhere along the lines."

The Mud Adolescent stared down at the sleeve of his suit, now worn out from such hard conditions. Experience had taught Holly that this tunnel somehow took offence to clothing, and did its hardest to get rid of all types of material. If Fowl wasn't careful, he wouldn't be left with anything to protect his dignity.

"Fowl – leaving you behind is not an option, do you realise that?"

"There is always an option, Holly. I think that it is you who is barring all other options in your own mind."

"That's not the point, Fowl! I do not leave friends behind – it's against my basic principles!"

Artemis chuckled coldly, the chuckle sending a wave of coldness down her spine. She sincerely wished that someone, anyone, was here with her. The bitterness hidden behind that one laugh was terrifying – almost as if this wasn't the first time he had experienced the loss, and that he had almost resigned himself to this.

_But this is Artemis Fowl we're talking about – you never know when he's pretending and when he's not,_ Holly cautioned herself, and steeled herself for another try at discouraging Artemis from doing this.

"Look, Fowl, whatever you have to do, you can do back in our world. Is it really necessary to do all of this over on the other side of the tunnel? Can't we do this on our side?"

Artemis nodded hesitantly, but then hurriedly put his hand over Holly's mouth again. Holly wished that he would stop doing that – it was much more effective than a fellow fairy blocking her mouth.

"Holly, I just want you to do that one favour for me. I promise that I will come back safely; with a live Kestrel. Tell me – do I look as if I'm lying to you?"

Holly had to admit that those blue eyes that spoke volumes by themselves did not look as if they were lying – nor did they look like the eyes of a madman. Holly shook her head, trying to chase away any thoughts of going easy on Fowl only because he seemed to believe in some mad fairy tale.

Although the 'disappearing into thin air' act was enough to jolt her resolve a little.

So she had to pull her final trump card. Commander Root.

Switching on her helmet mike (Trouble's helmet mike, Holly had to remind herself), she asked,

"Foaly, are you there?"

There must have been some sort of desperation in her voice, because Foaly didn't even try to crack a joke, or be sarcastic. He simply turned the mike to Root, who took it and said in a tired voice,

"What is it?"

And maybe that was the final push that shoved Holly over the edge. She became the first one to shed tears for her fallen comrade, her charge, her friend. Sobbing uncontrollably, she fell to her knees and choked out some fairly incomprehensible sentences before handing the helmet over to Artemis, whose eyes were now startled out of his reverie.

* * *

Artemis felt empty inside. When he was younger and the literature of amateurish romanticised authors still attracted him, he was always reading about how someone's heart had been ripped out of someone's chest and thrown onto the floor. Before, he would scoff at these melodramatic phrases, telling himself that it wasn't possible, as the heart was an essential centre of the human body, without which the body would shut down. 

He finally knew it could be done.

It was only Holly's crying that jerked him out of his reverie. He tried to remember another time when Holly had cried so freely, so passionately. Needless to say, he failed.

Even as his mind was in the depths of shock, depression and pain, he still knew who he would be talking to. Letting Kestrel's limp head rest on his lap, he took the helmet and stated flatly, "If Holly Short couldn't make me change my mind, commander, I doubt that you can."

The answer to this blatant rejection was different from what Artemis had expected. Instead of the ear splitting scream that would usually follow such audacious actions, he heard only the sound of a gruff, tired old man.

"Fowl, I'm too tired to blow up. You've lost a comrade. You're angry. You're sad. You want revenge. That's all understandable."

"You've been there, have you not, commander?"

"Of course. But please, I am no longer a commander – only a civilian. You can call me Root."

"Force of habit that won't be changing in the near future."

"Understandable. That's all understandable. But suicide is not."

This really snapped Artemis out of his reverie. He never thought that the commander would be so calm as he said that. He placed one hand on Ivy, whilst giving his full attention to the commander.

"I never said that it was suicide."

"It's the equivalent of suicide, Fowl. Leaving you on that side could be disastrous – that reality may have another you, another Fowl family. They're bound to find out that there is another world beyond their own. The People already have enough trouble trying to keep ourselves a secret – imagine what would happen if they really found a way to get through! Inter-species wars would look like practical jokes."

Artemis had to admit that he had a point there.

"If we leave you there, there's no knowing if we can get you back. We've never tried to reopen the portal from the other side before – we think that the Kestrels only managed to come over because of some sort of strange power fluctuation close to the portal, probably emanating from… well…"

Artemis knew who Root was referring to. It seemed that Ivy had touched even Root's heart in some small way.

"The point is, Fowl, no matter how smart you are, you have no great powers. This portal seems to only react to massive levels of energy, and no matter how much brain power you have, Fowl, it's not going to make it open for you. It would make you as good as dead in this world."

Artemis contemplated this. He couldn't tell Root about the whole Balance incident right now – it would only add to the confusion that was already in the air.

"Hey, who's committing suicide?" Came a voice from the co-pilot's seat. Cat had apparently decided that Piccolo didn't need a co-pilot anymore. And the loud sobbing noises had aroused her curiosity.

"Fowl is." Holly retorted, still a little unstable from her crying spree.

"Huh?"

For a moment, Artemis was about to turn to Ivy to comment that people who used idiomatic terms such as 'huh' were annoyances, before he realised that Ivy wasn't there to turn to anymore.

_Pity,_ he thought absently, _she was perhaps the only person my age that I can talk with like an equal._

"Fowl wants us to go our merry way to the edge of the portal, drop Kestrel and him off at the end, then go happily off back through the tunnel to re-emerge from the other end, _without_ them." Holly's voice and face were too cheerful to be mistaken for anything except for sarcasm. Artemis really wished that she would get through the 'he wants to kill himself' phase.

"Holly, I'm not going to be stranded there, I have a guarantee."

"Oh, and what guarantee is that? That Ivy's just going to somehow magically come alive again over on the other side and _create_ another ship for you to fly back with?" Cat demanded, making exaggerated gestures with her arms. Before Artemis could say another word, she made a sharp cutting action, obviously signalling for him to shut up.

Which, of course, he blatantly ignored.

"I'm not sure how long you have known Ivy, but…"

"Would you please stop speaking so impersonally?"

"What?"

This really shocked Artemis. What did Cat mean by 'impersonally'?

"A _friend_ of ours just died. Can't you find it within you to at least _look_ upset? I know that you're this… this mafia prince or something, but that doesn't mean that you…"

"Excuse me?" There was a hint of frost in his tone that made even Cat shrink away slightly.

"Now, Fowl, there's no need to get hostile… Cat is just as concerned as we are about you…"

"I doubt that, somehow, Holly. You see, Cat here thinks that in order to be 'upset', I must burst into floods of tears and fly into hysterics, much like she does. However, she does not take into account the fact that neither of the above will be helping Ivy." He turned his intense gaze onto Cat, causing her to shrink slightly, "Flying into hysterics isn't going to bring her back. What I'm about to do, is."

Silence clung to the heavy air like a barnacle to a boat. The atmosphere felt as if it could be cut with a bread knife.

Piccolo's voice drifted out as he announced soberly that they had arrived.

"That's our stop. We'll see you later."

And with that, Artemis picked Ivy up bridal style, and walked awkwardly over to where the ship could drop them onto solid ground. He halted at the faint touch of a hand. A human hand.

He turned to face Cat, and glanced at what she was offering to him. A helmet.

Not one of the LEP helmets, of course, but nonetheless a helmet that could give him valuable supplies of oxygen. No speech was necessary here; their eyes locked, and both gave small, tentative smiles. Artemis put on the helmet.

And he was gone.

* * *

Duke Kestrel was waiting by the entrance of the Tunnel with anxiousness that he had only experienced once in his life – and that was when his father was ill and was threatening to change his will in favour of his younger sister. Pacing back and forth, he wondered if this was what it would have felt like if Melissa had given birth in this world. 

A fluctuation in the air caught his attention and effectively upended a tree in front of his train of thought. He expected to see his daughter, and Artemis. Or two Artemises, he wasn't sure what he should expect to see from the boy he had taken under his wing.

What he saw, however, didn't fulfil any of his expectations.

"What happened to my daughter, Artemis? What happened to her?" He sounded a lot calmer than he felt, seeing as his voice wasn't even rising above normal level yet.

"Ah, Duke Kestrel, I presume? I have some memories of you, but I am sure that we shall have plenty of time to be personally acquainted. After I get Ivy up and about again."

And that was when Duke Kestrel realised that his daughter – his sole heir – had died.

* * *

Artemis knew from the moment he stepped into the new world that he was in trouble. Meeting the father, he assumed, was always one of the more terrifying experiences in a relationship. Meeting the father when his daughter was dead, however, was an entirely different kettle of fish. 

Laying her down on the earth, he beckoned towards Duke Kestrel (whose real name even he didn't know) and asked him to take away the bonds.

"What bonds?"

"The Elemental Vows, sir. Your wife managed to make Ivy swear on every single element for different purposes."

"She… she…"

"It's blocking my ability to get through to her. I need the… pathway to be clear." As if there was need for further clarification, he added, "It's my first time doing this."

Deciding not to question him, the Duke simply said, "We need a fire."

* * *

Apparently, being in another world meant that certain items would be lost. Luckily, the tunnel hadn't completely eradicated their clothing yet, but lighters, matches, anything that could light a flame easily was lost. Luckily, the fairy folk here were no less ingenious than their relatives. 

"Warlocks locked the power of a small flame in here – it's relatively cheap, seeing as I didn't want a forest fire." The duke brought out a small, metal container that seemed to pulse like a flame.

"And the case doesn't melt because of the internal heat?"

"You know, half of you lived with me for fourteen years and that's the first time you asked me that question."

"How _did_ I survive here?"

Duke Kestrel also brought out a small shell that looked a lot like a translucent sunflower seed that bore uncanny resemblance to a Fizzer.

"Let me guess… water?"

"Of course. We need the elements here."

"We don't. Lightning isn't present, and lightning was the last vow that she had taken."

"She never broke any of the oaths directly, correct? Oh, and you are providing the lightning. Any live person can count as lightning."

"I see – the electricity in our body counts then. No, I don't think she ever broke any vows. I have researched her and there haven't been any life-threatening storms anywhere near her house."

"That makes this process easier, then."

Duke Kestrel made Artemis sit on the earth, hands on both the metal canister (after he had been assured that the metal had a magical insulator on it) and the Fizzer, with his face towards the wind. Artemis noted that even the weather seemed impossibly grey. He wondered if this had anything to do with Ivy's… absence.

"Of course it does, Artemis. The elements have sensed that she is gone – this is their way of mourning."

"Are you sure this will remove the vows, and isn't a funeral rite?"

The same green eyes that had previously made his face flush and his heart try to jump through his ribcage shot a withering glance his way, then turned away again, and began chanting in a language that Artemis hadn't heard before.

_This must be the Gnommish version of Latin._

* * *

Ivy was lost. The darkness pressed against her on both sides, urging her to go onwards, but she stayed put, more fearful of death in the darkness than she had ever been in the light. Curling up into the foetal position, she waited for the light to come so her fear could go away. 

But after what seemed like a week, she took to murmuring to herself, just to hear something, the satisfying feeling that her senses were all still working,

"Someone will come. Someone always comes. Someone… someone…"

It was rather upsetting that whenever she thought of 'someone', a faceless stranger always came up. It was as if she was losing all of her memories, one by one, because she could hardly even think of her own mother's face anymore.

Then, a light sparkled in the distance. Ivy's eyes watered from the brightness of that spark, and tried to crawl away. _The light at the end of the tunnel – it looks like clichés are having a field day with me._

Then, she heard the sound of a voice. A voice she had… forgotten, but still knew.

"Ivy! Ivy? Kestrel, if you can hear me, head towards the light!"

But she felt weak. Too weak to even crawl towards the light. And besides, walking towards the light would mean accepting that she was… gone, wouldn't it? She didn't want to give up her life… not yet.

"Stop it! Give her back!"

Why was the boy yelling?

"She will benefit the world… both worlds!"

Who was he yelling at?

"If you won't give her back, then I'll just have to take her!"

Who was he yelling about?

* * *

Artemis was becoming frustrated. Walking into the darkness of the Balance again made him suspicious from the beginning. It made him even more suspicious when all that answered him was the Balance. 

"Ivy! Ivy? Kestrel, if you can hear me, head towards the light!"

No reply. Apart from the Balance.

_She cannot hear you. She cannot hear anything apart from herself. In time, she will pass on freely. I am the one preventing her from returning._

"Stop it! Give her back!"

_I cannot. I do not know if she will destabilize the world or not, but I cannot take that risk._

"She will benefit the world… both worlds!"

_I cannot risk it._

"If you won't give her back, then I'll just have to take her!"

_I'd like to see you try._ He could almost _hear_ the smirk. Pulling out his final trump card, he began,

"I am thy Keeper. I command thee to let her go."

_This is what you meant by making me?_

"If thou dost continue in this jest, thou shalt lose more than my services. Thou shalt lose me."

And it was at this moment, that someone tackled him to the non-existent ground, a painful scream tearing out of her, an endless,

"NO!"

And the world materialised again, with a startled Duke Kestrel (singed hair, drenched shirt and muddied boots) thrown back into a tree and a very much alive Ivy Kestrel in Artemis's arms.

"Congratulations, Duke Kestrel." He murmured, staring down at the breathing, living, sleeping form of Ivy Saraswati Kestrel, "It's a girl."

He pulled the body to him in a small, tentative hug, and promptly fainted.

* * *

A/N: See, I did bring her back, didn't I? This chapter really sucks, but I couldn't care less because I am almost floating away! Just got my exam results back, and I couldn't hope for better results...

Ivy: Finally, I'm back! Wait... why am I catatomic?

PeridotNox: Because you just died and having you bouncing off the walls would be unrealistic?

Artemis: And having me bring her back from the dead is realistic?

All three begin to banter

Duke Kestrel: Sigh Just read and review. It's easier, trust me.


	29. Chapter 29

A/N: Here's the next part! Thank you to all those who have put me onto their favourites/alert/reviewed :) Sorry it took so long...

Disclaimer: I do not own this. Don't rub it in.

**Chapter 29 – In which there is a confession of love… sort of.**

"She's still sleeping, she's still sleeping, she's still sleeping… why is she still sleeping?" Duke Kestrel, when under pressure, was apparently not a very calm man.

"Sir, please, her heartbeat indicates that she is fully alive, and will probably wake up any moment now. It's just the aftershock that's making her mind go into autopilot – the important thing is that she is alive, and is healing. The healer said that her condition was stable…"

This blatant reversal of roles made Artemis think that he would probably make a better psychiatrist than he had originally thought. Butler had commented that for him to be a good psychiatrist, he had to be able to be _nice._ Artemis Fowl the Second did not _do_ nice.

A short, slightly plump elf rushed in front of the Duke, and bowed nervously before heralding his news,

"The Lady Melissa Kestrel, Duchess of Kestrel, is stirring!"

And immediately, Duke Kestrel ran from his vigil at Ivy's bedroom door, and straight after the herald. Artemis's eyebrows quirked upwards slightly – it seemed that even the Duke wasn't immune to the charms of Ivy's mother. Artemis contemplated how he reacted when he first met Melissa Kestrel – probably like a boy just jumping into puberty. Well, he was a boy just into puberty, but that was beside the point.

He wasn't really sure what he felt about Ivy. On one hand, she was smart; she understood him and she could actually speak with him as an equal. That, and she was really pretty. And he meant _really_ pretty.

But on the other hand, her intelligence could have come from other people due to her family gift, the Kestrel Gift of knowing other's knowledge, and she was on speaking terms with the strange powers that had previously tried to throw the several worlds into chaos and split him into two.

And that _really_ put him off.

How was he meant to be sure of his own feelings if he wasn't even sure of who he was? Or where he was?

He sighed – the helmet had disappeared a few minutes after he managed to speak with the Balance. He wasn't even sure how on earth he was going to get back to his own world. He was effectively stranded in a strange land, with strange people, and with no method of communication.

"Holly was right. This _was_ stupid of me. Root was right about this being suicidal." Artemis muttered angrily, more out of annoyance at his errors than at the correctness of his fairy friends.

"The commander said what…?" Came a feeble, shaking voice from inside the room. A fairy attendant came out, saw that Duke Kestrel was not there, and shrugged noncommittally.

"You can go in to see her now."

"I thought that the first one to see her would be…"

"Well, do you _see_ the Duke here? Get in there before she gets insecure – and mind you don't let her see the dark. Sometimes, the dark scares these people, they're frightened of going back into the coma."

"I… I understand."

"You'd better. Now go keep her company whilst I send a runner to fetch the Duke."

Artemis nodded, a little startled at the gruff way this fairy handled her patients, showing almost a human side. Shrugging off the feeling that she was a human, he entered the room to see a welcome sight.

Ivy was lying down, her eyes open and confused. Her rotating eyes fell on him, and she struggled to try and get up. Artemis hurried to her side, and lay a hand on her sheets, a signal for her to not bother. At once, she became still again. Artemis smiled a little, thanking whatever force was listening for giving Ivy another chance at life. Then he realised that he really didn't know what to say in a situation such as this.

"Are you alright?"

A cool, green stare.

"Sorry, standard question."

"No, I'm fine now. The healer's going to get the Duke to invite a mind healer. Apparently I've suffered mental attacks as well. This potion, however," She picked up a small bottle that stank of chrysanthemums, "is doing wonders for this huge headache I've got." She glanced around – or at least as much as her head allowed her to, "Artemis, where's your twin?"

"Well, after you… left temporarily, we sort of… merged."

"Merged?"

"Well, yes." Artemis almost backed away when those green eyes seemed to almost glow. He had feeling that what was coming next wasn't going to be a 'thank you'.

"You managed to merge because of my _death_? _That's_ what made you combine? I'm not sure whether I should feel insulted or… or…"

It seemed that Ivy didn't have much strength in her, because she collapsed in mid-rant, gasping and spluttering, almost as if she had run a marathon. Artemis frowned a little. Something about her seemed… different, somehow.

Apparently, Ivy thought so too, because her next request was for a mirror.

"Er… well, I don't know where anything is in this room – neither of my halves has any recollection of this room." Artemis frowned, trying to get the right memory. It was really hard when you still felt like two separate people. Part of him was telling his body to back away and come back later when she was calm, and the other part was telling him that she had a point, and that he should own up.

He wondered absently if schizophrenics felt the same way that he did. Trying to divert his attention from his abnormally illogical mind, he tried to offer an opinion - something he always enjoyed.

"You look… sort of different from before, I suppose. You've got a slightly different expression on your face, but your features are all still the same…"

"I feel different too. Lighter, somehow, as if a great weight has been lifted from my chest. My senses are all tingling, and somehow… my mind!" Ivy dropped the mirror, clutching her head, her eyes wide open, "The voices! The murmurs! They've gone!"

And suddenly, logic wormed its way back into Artemis's brain, forming explanations for the feverish grin on Ivy's face, her tears of relief and how this all tied into her subtle change of character. He was pulled back quickly by Ivy's light punch on his shoulder.

"Did you get that from Holly?" He asked, rubbing the sore spot where both of the diminutive girls liked to punch him.

"Never mind who I got it from – ask me a question, any question!"

"Alright… how many elements are there in the Periodic Table?" He decided to come up with an easy question, seeing as Ivy had just woken up.

"No idea!" She laughed suddenly, collapsing onto the bed, laughing until tears rolled down her eyes, "It's gone! It's finally gone!"

Artemis was shocked. He had never experienced the switchover of personalities so fast, nor so extreme. He was suddenly afraid at the change in the girl he liked, at the sudden openness of her personality, the measure of emotion she showed, the lack of control…

"Kestrel… what are you doing?" _Better record this for future generations of Fowls… their ancestor, Artemis Fowl II, is asking a question._

"I'm being myself… the self that I've lost for so long now!" Taking a deep breath, Artemis saw that more muscles relaxed, and before him stood an Ivy that looked, for the entire world, like a normal fourteen-year-old girl.

_So why do I feel so lost?_

Silence settled between the two of them, both painfully aware of the difference between them now. The changes that had happened to both of them since the beginning of their strange friendship.

It was at this moment that the Healer burst in, announcing the arrival of the Duke and Duchess.

* * *

_This is not how it should be._

_But it is how it turned out._

_Their relationship has been jeopardised! Thou deliberately let him see her true nature!_

_Regard it as payback for what you did to my Keeper._

_That was different!_

_In what way?_

There was a pause. Even Greater Powers need time to think sometimes.

_Nothing has changed, overall. They shall simply have to adjust._

_And if they do not?_

_Then we'll just have to find others._

_There are no others. Thou made it that way since the last time._

_Point taken. However, this is a pointless argument. They will adjust _Another pause. _After all, we made them that way, did we not, Water?_

* * *

"It seems that something happened to you in the Void. It may be that the Balance was trying to repay the Elements for what they did to Artemis, or it may be that the Balance really didn't think you would serve any purpose in the world, and kept you away. Either way, you're back now, where you belong."

Duke Kestrel was perched on the armchair where the regal-looking Melissa Kestrel sat, her recent illness somehow emphasising her ethereal look. However, her eyes were still sharp, scheming…

"But… Duke Kestrel…" Ivy still couldn't bring herself to call him 'father', apparently, "I do not know if I truly want to stay here."

"Why not?"

"It's not that I don't want to," Obvious lie. "I mean, this is where my family is," Biologically true. "But I've just lived all my life on the other side of the Void. My friends are there, my _future_ is there…"

"And is there no future here, as the Heiress of Kestrel?" Melissa was glowering at her daughter, silently reprimanding her for the folly of her choice.

Silence.

"Ivy," This time, it was the Duke who spoke, "Understand, please, that it is difficult for your mother to conceive with me. It may be years, maybe never, before our cycles coincide again. Until that day, you must take on board your duties as the Heiress of Kestrel. It is not a choice. It is a responsibility."

And here, the docile girl suddenly turned into a towering griffin, her special connection to the elements showing itself as the room trembled on its foundations,

"Responsibility? _You're_ lecturing me on _responsibility_? I just spent the last ten years concealing my true nature – not out of choice, but because my mother… _your wife!_… had decided that my true nature was not fit for my _responsibilities_! You want me to comply?" She pointed an accusing finger at Melissa, "_Then give my childhood back!_"

Neither woman spoke for a while. Both of them were inhaling deeply, both angry beyond comprehension. Artemis saw no way out.

* * *

_We should intervene._

_Intervention is forbidden._

_Thou hast no control over us._

_I know that. I'm just saying._

_Then we are allowed?_

_Do you _see_ me stopping you?_

* * *

A swirl of blue entered the room, between the feuding mother and daughter, and chimed,

_Why dost thou fight with thine kin?_

Water had entered the building.

* * *

A/N: Sorry this is taking so long, but my A levels have just started - for those who don't know, these exams are my tickets to Uni, so it's really important to me, so I do apologise to the rubbish and weird chapters following.

Anyway, reviews will make me want to update more often! You'll have to wait until October 20th or something for the next installment - it's my half-term!


	30. Chapter 30

A/N: Sorry! I've just not had enough time lately to write anything, not with Chemistry, Biology and History piling work on me (stares at mountain of neglected work in frustration)... Anyhoo... I hope that this makes up for it (a little) and I'll try to update more during the Easter and Summer hols. Don't expect much from me during May and June - that's AS levels starting time (3 hours for one exam... pity me)

Oh yeah - in this chapter, when you see _italics_ in paragraph blocks, that's a Greater Power talking. In fact, make that as in any of my stories, that's a Greater Power talking. If there's only the odd italic in a paragraph, that's either emphasis or thoughts, depending. You'll be able to tell.

On with the story!

**Chapter 30 – In which complications arise (when do they not?)**

All of the Kestrels, save Ivy, fell on their knees in startled reverence, as did the healer who had decided to enter the building at that moment. Ivy, out of familiarity, pouted and looked for all the world to be a spoilt child, and Fowl, out of arrogance, refused to incline his head, even if the being in front of him could have ripped his head of without so much as dropping a sweat. Both Fowl and Kestrel glared at the feminine being, the latter clutching on her duvet so hard it was a wonder that her nails did not penetrate.

_I see that I am not welcome here._ Water stated matter-of-factly.

"Oh, do you think? I never would have guessed!" Ivy scorned, making her comment as scathing as was humanly possible. Or fairily possible, depending on what species you were.

Artemis adopted a slightly less sarcastic and rude retort, "You could hardly expect me to welcome one of the beings that managed to split me apart and throw several realities into jeopardy, can you?"

_I am not here to practice rhetoric with thee, Keeper. Nor am I here to claim what is _rightfully_ mine._ Water's attention shifted to Duke Kestrel. _I am here to negotiate._

Duke Kestrel's eyebrows shot up, but his bowed pose stayed the same. Melissa's body, however, decided to follow her eyebrows on the journey upwards, "What is rightfully _yours_? _Yours?_ I have spent a little over fourteen years guarding this child now, and you DARE to claim that she is _yours?_"

The whole room was silent, save for the elegant chimes of Water's body flowing inside the vague shape that counted as a body. Even Ivy recognised the graveness of the situation. Nobody ever dared to argue with a Greater Power over the possession of their Chosen One. Pieces of Water's body were beginning to solidify into ice, and Ivy knew that if the situation were not diverted quickly, casualties were going to follow.

It was at times like these that she was glad for her inane ability of delaying her shock so that it all came out at once.

"I apologise on my mortal mother's behalf, Mother Water." Ivy began, choosing her next phrase very carefully, "But I do not perceive any fault with my outburst."

_Nor do I, child. After all, thou spoke the truth, albeit in a rather crude and blunt way. Perhaps it should be _our_ duty to apologise to thee, Ivy Kestrel, for forcing thee to pretend for so long._

Forgetting all etiquette, Ivy's bowed head shot up, a slight grin playing on her lips, and retorted, "Now that, I can work with." Earning a rather stern look from her immortal mother.

Artemis was being kept in the dark about something. That meant he was ignorant about something. And this _something_ was important enough that a Greater Power was apologising. From the half that had lived with Duke Kestrel, he gathered that this was a Big Deal, capital B, capital D.

This was not allowed.

"Would _somebody_ tell me what the Greater Powers have to apologise to Kestrel for?" Although he phrased it as a request, the power that emanated from him turned it into a demand. Startled by his own lack of self-control, he forced himself to calm down, attempting to quash the power that had lain dormant for years trying to force its way out.

_Calm thyself, Keeper. All explanations will come in good time. _Motioning for all of the kneeling people to seat themselves, Water continued. _And this is as good a time as any._

_The worlds have been destabilising more and more as we, the younger Powers have grown older. Thou art in the knowledge that we elements may destroy whole countries on a whim, correct? Well, thou canst also understand the concept that we may destroy whole worlds on a whim as well. And so, the Keeper of the Balance's workload became heavier and heavier as our Chosen Ones became harder to handle as our increasing power flowed through them._

_And that was when the Balance changed. He chose a babe, hardly out of his mother's womb, to be the next Keeper, bestowing upon him all the powers of the Keeper. But he made the child ruthless, ready to kill and maim if it were necessary, and named the boy Hades. _

_But our Chosen Ones, heady with their own power, feared for their Powers, and killed the child before he had even reached adulthood. The Balance was furious, almost ripping our Chosen Ones to pieces, but then restored Hades to the Place Where He Is, and refused to choose another Keeper._

_We were afraid of the Balance's choice. Since the last Keeper's passing, the Balance has become secluded, and harder than ever. Hast thou ever stared at an inferno in the face, little Keeper? That is the extent of the Balance's fury. It was many centuries of thy time, many Chosen Ones later that the Balance emerged again. However, the first words that passed between us were the inquiry into my next Chosen One's birth._

_I, out of obligation, replied truthfully that my next Chosen One was again from the House Kestrel. At the time, however, not even thy mother had set foot upon the ground, and so I had planned that thou were to be of fairy persuasion. However, the Balance interfered. An alliance was arranged through thy grandparents, and my plans were halted._

_I have gathered since then that all my brethren hath had the same treatment, and that all the Chosen Ones have been tampered with. Needless to say, we were not pleased, but we dared not protest, lest the Balance unleash the inferno once again._

Here, Artemis opened his mouth to speak, but he was so absorbed in the story of how this whole nightmare came about that he closed his mouth again, unconsciously nodding, giving the Greater Power permission to speak. Water acknowledged this permission with the barest of nods.

_When the opportunity arose for revenge, I am ashamed to admit that we took it. When we once again felt the binding touch that signals that a new Keeper has been born, we gathered around, and formed the plot that created this conspiracy. Placing the Keeper's powers and the Keeper's intelligence in two different places was my idea, but the idea of separating the two with a barrier made of realities… that was Fire's idea._

_The Balance, as expected, was furious. But, without a Keeper, the Balance was not able to retaliate, for that is all the Balance may do without a Keeper. Watch. And wait._

_However, the Balance is smart. It may still manipulate the worlds and the barriers, and so it sought to wreak revenge, again upon me, as the initiator. And so, that is how thy mother, great with babe, came to set foot in this world._

Here, Ivy interrupted the story for the first time, "So was it because of the Balance that my mother decided to marry my stepfather?"

_Not so. Thy mother was afraid. Afraid of what others may say on thy dubious birth origins, and so located a man who would protect thee with his life, despite his false patrimony. Thy mother's concentrated Mesmer was enough to convince the man to marry her within the week._

_However, I was in a dilemma, for thou wert closer than ever to one half of the Keeper, and I knew that in order to maintain my right over thee, I would have to take more desperate measures._

"The Elemental Vows. That's what you gave Melissa, is it not?" Artemis enquired, his curiosity providing the question.

_Indeed. However, I did not mean for the Vows to be used in such a way. I meant for them to be as protection, as prevention from thy meeting. However, Melissa did not heed my words, and used the Vows as methods of control. As is her nature._

Melissa Kestrel looked indignant. However, nobody else seemed to be willing to defend what was obviously true, so her flair for dramatics was put off for a later date.

_As is the nature of any Advanced Mesmer user. As my Chosen One's movements were restricted one by one, I came to realise that instead of controlling thy movements and thy mind, all the Vows did were to encourage thy rebellion against authority. And so thou looked for a way to do the impossible. The Vows were broken, one by one, through thy determination and stubbornness._

Here, Ivy gave a smirk to her mother that simply screamed 'I win' whilst Artemis kept a close eye on the duke. Obviously, this breaking of Vows was a big deal here, but he did not see what was so difficult about it.

"But even if Ivy broke the Vows directly, would her status as the Chosen One of Water protect her from whatever repercussion was involved?"

_Hardly. When an elemental Vow is broken by a Chosen One, the elements will begin to abandon the Chosen One and eventually leave an empty shell to wander the worlds, no comfort to be found anywhere, for their connections to all they ever knew have been severed._

That wiped the smirk off Ivy's face with no difficulty whatsoever. Obviously, Artemis realised, Ivy had next to no idea what the real consequences of breaking the Vows meant. Voicing his thoughts for the second time, Artemis asked,

"What were the Vows meant to make Kestrel do? Apart from keep her from revealing herself to me, that is?"

_The first Vow was the Wind Vow. That was meant to restrict Ivy from using her powers in front of other people._

"Well that one failed miserably. All I did was to use my powers to make people look the other way." Ivy pouted, remembering the painstakingly tedious times when no one would look away.

_The second was the Earth Vow. That prevented Ivy from telling lies._

Artemis's eyebrows shot up. Obviously, that one went down the drain. It was easy enough to sidestep the truth by telling half-truths; it was not, after all, really lying as long as there was some truth in your words.

_The third was my own Vow. That stopped Ivy from speaking with boys her own age._

Here, the duke turned to Melissa and frowned, "That wasn't very specific, Melissa. That rule would be easy to break, as long as the boy wasn't born on the same day as her." The look that Melissa Kestrel shot her husband was enough to make him back away, his hands held up in apology.

_The fourth was the Fire Vow, perhaps the hardest to break for Ivy. Ivy's powers gave her some degree of resistance from her mother's Mesmer. Fire's Vow removed that last defence from her, and made her just as slave to Melissa's will as were most mortals._

Ivy and Melissa nodded in agreement, startling Artemis as this was the first time he had seen mother and daughter agree on any subject.

_The rest of this story is known to thee, Keeper. I leave thee to form thy own conclusion from this tale._

Artemis started again. The second time in less than five minutes – this was becoming a habit, and not a good one, at that.

"My own conclusion? To what end, may I ask? After all, within these family matters, my opinion hardly matters." Artemis stated, surprised that Water did not halt his comment at all. He had injected as much sarcasm as possible, and yet it seemed that these Greater Powers were unfazed by his blatant challenge to their authority.

_But it will be your decision as to what happens to Ivy._

At this, Kestrel jumped up, indignant that her future was, once again, being decided for her. Opening her mouth to protest strongly, she stopped when Artemis raised a hand to stop her. The meaning was clear. _I can handle this_.

"I see. How so, is it my decision? Surely you, as her Chosen element, should be in charge of what happens to her?"

_I have already relinquished what control I have over her when you brought her back from the Dead._

"Then I suppose that you will have no objection as to where she settles down?"

Of course not.

"Well, in that case…" But before he could finish his sentence, a human rushed into the room, bearing a trumpet and looking altogether rather ridiculous being dressed in clothes that resembled the uniform of the guards of the Vatican a little too much.

"Your Grace! The portal that your daughter and wife came through… there's a flood of people coming out!"

"WHAT?" Duke Kestrel got to his feet, his slightly tanned skin paling.

"And they're headed in this direction!"

A/N: I know that this is a really bad chapter, and probably not worth the wait, but I promise that, come Easter (or Easter hols, which is 2 weeks after Easter Monday) I WILL update.

So please review! It encourages me to write faster...

Peridot Nox


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